Leprakon's corner

Survival Training... it's easier than most people think.

2012-02-18T21:57:00.000-08:00

Survival. As a single guy I never much worried about survival. I rolled with the punches and lived the nomadic life never much caring where I ended up. I remember sleeping in my car on more than one occasion, waking up through the night to run the engine long enough to bring some heat back to my bones.

When I was young I was a boy scout. I had a great leader who taught me some really great skills. The problem is I grew up and never used any of them.

For the last 8 years I've been wrapped up in Urban Survival trying to keep my head above water, a roof over my families head and food on our table. In doing so I have further removed myself from the knowledge I once possessed.

Now I'm actively engaged in a "Survival" course hosted by the same great boy scout leader. It's a much different experience this time round as I am re-learning with the knowledge of how bad it can get. My wife is going through this journey with me as we both learn basic skills needed to survive when the benefits of modern day are gone.

Now this may come from the collapse of our fragile economy or some natural disaster, or simple our car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. But, the goal is to "Be Prepared". You never know when the worst will come.

As we've gone through this course I've been vividly reminded of how unprepared we are. Good practices which I've known, I haven't followed in years.

I hope I never have to use anything I'm re-learning, but I'm glad I'm taking the time to do so.

Survival goals:
- Learn more about the plants of the wilderness
- Spend time camping with the family to practice and learn basic techniques: Starting Fires, building shelters, gathering food, fishing, ect
- Put together and keep at the ready a basic survival kit
- Practice wood widling and net making and trap making so they become second nature
- Ensure my family is trained to survive with or without me
- keep a ready supply of h2o.. you can never have too much water
- take up and practice the art of repelling.. to overcome my fears and to have the know how to use it when needed
- buy a gun (many guns actually) and retrain myself in their safe and effective use. I plan to waste as much ammo as I can afford.

I'm sure this list will grow and be more detailed. this is just the kick-off list. Some may call me paranoid, but just last year my friends brother went missing in Yosemite and was never heard from again. The SHTF scenario can happen at anytime to anyone just about anywhere. Best to be as prepared as you can. Not to mention, this stuff is fun. So if you can have fun while preparing for the worst, why not.

God Providence... who would have thought I'd be happy to be stuck in LA for a while longer

2012-02-07T20:48:00.000-08:00

Tonight I feel like writing and since I don’t know what I plan to write about, I’ll just wing it.

Life has been busy. My oldest turned 12 and is developing all the bad habits of a pre-teen. My middle child just turned 5 and my little lady will be 4 soon. Winy, overly sensitive and openly rebellious: Gotta love my brood.

For the last 2 years I’ve been actively seeking to “Escape From LA”. Every seemingly good door has been soundly closed. The path out seemed so clear when I started. But it wasn’t to be.

But God has used me for much in that time. I’ve been able to help friends and family in much need of various kinds of support. Everything from planning a funeral to marital counseling; How I fell into these rolls, I can’t say, but God knew I would be needed and ensured I would be here to help. He then placed me in positions I couldn’t have expected to be needed in.

A few more amazing paths God has placed in front of me.

I’ve been given every opportunity one could want from his job. For the next 2-3 years I will be heading up a major restructuring. The real world training this will give me you can’t get from any college. I have the backing and support of not only my Manager, our Plant Manager, and various corporate managers. I am being guided and mentored by some of the brightest and most experienced minds in my corporation.

Of course this means I’m stuck in LA for a few more years. But the opportunities and blessings that are literally falling into my lap are immeasurable.

This year the burden of debt will be lifted as we finally pay off the last of our debt. For the first time in our marriage we will be financially stable with a rapidly growing savings account and not debt looming over our heads. Total financial freedom.

My former Scout master is back in my life and leading me and my wife through basic survival training. At the same time we are leaning towards enrolling our oldest in the Scouts under the tutelage of the same Scout master.

My wife is developing good Godly friendships with the locals. And I continue to be drawn in to various responsibilities in church and among friends.

In short it seems that God wants me right here for a while. Wish I knew why, but I guess I just have to trust that God’s plan is perfect.

I’ll get out of LA eventually, but apparently not yet. At least the weather is nice here.

Richard Call Low one last time caused me to reflect on life and knowledge

2011-10-23T16:32:00.000-07:00

This week the death of a mentor reminded me of how short life is. His name to me was always Mr Low. To his wife he was Richard. To his children he was Dad. His death had me thinking about knowledge. What we know, how we know it. Mr Low was committed to knowledge. As his daughter put it, “Mountain climbers when asked why they climb mountains, often say ‘because it is there ‘. My father’s mountain was knowledge”.

The Bible says “The beginning of all wisdom is the fear of God”. It also says “The wisdom of God is foolishness to men”. When I sit and look at my own life, my own search for knowledge and wisdom, the list of sources of my knowledge are vast. Everything from, personal experience to history. This is my personal summary of where my knowledge comes from.

For the first 16 years of life my knowledge was almost entirely personal experience. Public school never taught me much. Just provided me a place to be other than home. But being the second youngest in a family of 7 kids led to many life experiences before I may have been ready for them. Through watching my siblings, my parents (all four of them) and my grandparents I was able to learn much about life. I call my childhood the Soap Opera. It was. But all this knowledge was in a vacuum, because even though I was raised Mormon, and sometimes Catholic, Christian, Jewish and Pagan, I really only knew God and God’s wisdom through the eyes of other men. I had yet to truly learn directly from God.

I was 14 or 15 when my sister bought me a series called “The book of Swords, by Fred Saberhagen”. This was the beginning of my journey to self-education. Reading quickly became a passion of mine. And when I have time it still is.

I was 16 when I first started to study the Scriptures on my own. I was passionate in my studies of God for the next four years. I grew to believe wholeheartedly in the Mormon faith. Mr Low was my sounding board. He dedicated countless hours of his life to me and the wisdom he shared and guidance he gave me continue with me to this day. Not only did I learn to think Scripturally, I learned service as I watched him care for his wife, who had suffered a stroke and was completely dependent on him. I think only now at his death do I realize the impact he had on my life.

If nothing else I gained a healthy fear of God in this time. In Mormonism the expectation is that a young man will go on a 2 year mission at the age of 19 or 20. I was determined to be prepared for this. About the time I was ready to serve my mission I was struck with doubt of the truth of Mormonism. Even with the aid of Mr Low I was unable to resolve my doubt. I could not in good conscience serve a mission preaching a ‘truth’ that I myself was not convinced of.

On a whim I ended up in the Navy instead. I was to experience learning on a whole new level. As a Navy Nuc I was submitted to a grueling 2 year training program which tested my knowledge, patience, endurance and ability to absorb vast quantities of highly technical information in a very short period of time. As someone who always has suffered self-esteem issues, this was a truly character building time.

I also learned loneliness, suffered separation anxiety, learned to survive on my own because no one else was there to support me. I thought I had learned independence as a teen, but I really learned independence and self-reliance in the Navy. Not to say I was completely alone. You develop life-long relationships in the military as you are forced to rely on people you barely know. But in the end when it comes to success in the military you stand alone. I guess it would better be stated, I was forced to survive without those I had relied on for so long in the past and thus had to learn new ways to survive with new people.

It was at this time that my fear of God continued to grow as I continued to be engulfed in Scripture trying to remove the doubt that was in me.

I’ve found that nothing is more refining than God’s Word. The knowledge I have gained about me by reading the Bible is immeasurable. Its philosophy, psychology and history all wrapped up in one. It cuts to your heart and opens your mind to see things about you that you didn’t know exist. This for me has been and continues to be my greatest source of knowledge. Its wisdom wraps you up until your whole life is viewed through God’s Word.

Mr Low was one of my sounding boards as a teenager. Like any teen, my friends were my sounding boards as well. God’s Word has been my sounding board as an adult. It doesn’t matter what the subject matter is. Politics, religion, psychology, marriage, relationships, work ethic, and so on and so forth; all of it is subject to God. I’ve also been blessed with Godly friends.

It was in the military that I started to develop my political views as well. I saw military force with no war. I saw bureaucratic waste of our resources. I saw cronyism, rules for the sake of rules, unjust discipline, blind obedience. I saw our military attacked (The Cole) and our homeland attacked (9/11). I saw the decisions that were made by our leaders as a result. I know that people are dead because I did my job. It was a very confusing time in the military. You wanted to support what you were a part of and know that you were doing right, but I don’t think I was ever convinced of this.

My political views really began to change with the discovery of Lewrockwell.com. A libertarian news / article website. They say ignorance is bliss, and this was the end of my bliss. I learned about just war, and economics. I studied the founding fathers, federalist anti-federalist arguments, American History. I read books by the men we say our country was founded by. I learned as much as I could about their thinking and reasoning.

Christianity and God’s Word seemed to be in the center of it all. Contrary to the popular “Separation of Church and State” mantra, it is impossible to separate church from state without rejecting God and God’s Moral Law all together. Church was never meant to be removed from State decisions. State was removed from Church decisions.

Moving on with my tale of personal knowledge, 2-3 years of studying the Bible praying to have the doubt removed so I could return to Mormonism, instead I was lead to reject Mormonism as God’s True Church. Scripture just didn’t conform to what the LDS had taught me my whole life. There is a whole world of Mormons (Mr Low included) who disagree with me. But for me, I had to choose between what God’s Word said and the religion I was raised in and God won.

It was at this time that I was to learn about the many Christian denominations. I knew nothing of Christian History, or the many Christian Churches. I started trying to attend different churches. The bulk of my church experience being LDS it was quite the culture shock. The biggest shock of all was how much non-sense is preached from ‘Christian’ pulpits. I learned how gullible humans can be. The things I saw done in the name of God were appalling. I felt like I was watching sheep being led to the slaughter as I watched “Christians Engulfed with the Spirit” doing all sorts of truly strange things.

The power of belief, the power of the human mind to have a physical effect, the power of humans was being revealed to me.

When I finally joined a church a year later it was because the Pastor though young, always tried to preach from Scripture, even if it was in rather unconventional ways. I joined Bible Study groups, with Vince (the pastor), and spent the next three years studying with him and various other Christians. I found myself leading Bible Studies even though I was the youngest person in the room. I found people looking to me as wise. And I was truly wise in my own eyes.

I left the Navy feeling I had a good handle on Politics, Religion and Life. I was introduced to a Christianity I had never seen that taught me otherwise. Reformed Christianity I had never heard of. Calvin, Armenis, Luther, St Augustine, Edwards, Knox, theonomics, Eschatology, Epistemology, and whole bunch of other –ologies left me wondering what bus I had missed.

However, for the first time in my life I sat in a church and wasn’t challenging the Pastor’s “Biblical” stance. The dedication to Biblical truth and accuracy I found was a breath of fresh air to someone who had spent many moons looking for truth in Religion.

Since leaving the Navy I have continued my pursuit of knowledge in Scripture and in Politics. In Politics and Economics I’ve found mainstream information to be jaded and misleading. I’ve found the Republicans whom I had been raised to believe in to be no better than their Democratic counterparts. I’ve learned to questions the official histories and to seek alternate sources to find the truth in the stories of the past.

Even Scientific Theories must be questioned. Recently one of Einstein’s Theories was proven false. Our quest for truth and knowledge must be never ending. We must be willing to look beyond the mainstream paths of knowledge and learn to teach ourselves and seek truth in the unconventional places.

In Religion I have found Biblical Christianity, led by those with the same passion for truth as myself. I still question everything, but am pleased to find truth and gospel preached.

I think the most important lesson I learned from Mr Low and from life is that “the Beginning of ALL wisdom is the fear of God”. And all of our knowledge must be measured against the measuring stick of God’s Word.

And as the saying goes, “The More I learn, the Less I Know”.

Lord willing I can continue to apply that principle to my life and teach it to my children and my grandchildren. By God’s Grace I pray that when my life ends, my family and friends will look upon my life, in the same way the family of Richard Call Low looked upon his life. A man of God whose dedication to his faith and to the truth had a lasting impact on his children, and his children’s children. A man who touched the world with service and wisdom.

Writing... writing... it' s been so long.. just writing...

2011-05-31T23:29:00.000-07:00

Something there is that doesn’t love a wall

That sends the frozen ground swell under it

And spills the upper boulders in the sun

And I took the one less travelled, and that has made all the difference

And it pleased the Lord to bruise him!

Writing is my long forgotten passion. I think it was the Navy that gave me the passion. I guess when you are stuck on a ship for countless days you find ways to engage your mind.

Recently I’ve touched in conversations Politics, Religion, Finance, Debt, Marriage, Work, Unions; All great things to converse about. But I have been noticing that I am waning in my knowledge of much of the things I used to love to be knowledgeable about. I have all but given up sports. I barely have time to read about my own faith these days, yet alone the faith of others. Finance and debt while important, can be dull. Marriage, hmmm.. that always seems to be the egg shell topic. I often feel so out of touch with current events. It becomes hard to hold conversation. Mentally I’m still in the 90’s or at best the early 2000’s. Cars, oh cars, but who has the time or the money or the tools to indulge. My poor baby still sits parked collecting dust and rust.

Why have I abandoned my many passions? I guess I can sum it up on one word. Family! I am often amazed at how much being husband and a father takes out of me. I love my family. But I can honestly say I have never been so weary. I have become a slave to my job which I must do to support the before mentioned family. I think I enjoy my work, at least some times, but it just seems to never end. It’s like bailing water out of a holey ship. No matter how good you think you are doing, you are still sinking.

Alas I know I will be a slave to work the rest of my days, because my family needs me to be. And so, while I accept the responsibility I have taken on, I do find myself missing the freedom of being wreck less.

Wreck less? You Sean? Oh yes. I long for the opportunity to jump out of a perfectly good airplane; to travel down the interstate at 100+mph in a train of like minded drivers passing cars like they are sitting still; jump in a car and drive with no destination in mind and no care if you get nowhere; go swimming in the ocean at 2am slightly buzzed but just enjoying the crashing of the waves; swim out passed the buoy so the lifeguards can swim out after you to tell you how ‘dangerous’ it is to be so ‘far’ from shore; jump of an 80 foot bridge and wonder what you were thinking as you plummet towards the water and it knocks the wind out of you as you slam into it leaving you breathless 30 feet deep; the challenge of a rip current dragging you to sea as the waves slam you to the sand and relentlessly hold you down on the ocean floor; staying up all night in an airport talking to a stranger you just met because both of you have an early AM flight and don’t feel like sleeping; Tearing apart your car for fun not knowing if you can put it back together; Walk through the streets in the pouring rain oblivious to the cold wet cloths on your back cuz your having too much fun just playing in the rain; ooo football in the rain, sliding tackles, muddy cloths, hoping you don’t break any bones; a mosh pit with thousands of screaming madman pushing and shoving, crowd surfing knowing that the only thing keeping you from crashing into the concrete below are the hands of strangers;

The point is, for a good portion of my life I did what I wanted, when I wanted. And while I would not give up my wife and kids for anything, I do miss the adventure of the unknown. I miss the thrill of life with limited boundaries. Marriage builds great walls. Walls of responsibility; People who depend on you for their life, food, cloths, roof, ect. People who would suffer should you break a bone, lose a job or die. People you love and care for.

I think it’s the inactivity that really does me. I used to swim hours a day. Bike at least 10 miles a day. Walk everywhere. Play basketball, volley ball, kayaking, football, rollerblading, tennis, weightlifting, sparring, ect. It’s the wake up before sunrise and get home just before the sun sets, and not have time to enjoy the day that just grates on me.

Yesterday we spent the day at the park with friends. Water fights, Frisbee, kites, bikes, good food and watching the kids be kids. It was a good day. I think that is really what I need. I still haven’t figured out how to convert my desire to do ‘stuff’ into a family activity. It’s so easy when you are single. You just do it. But for some reason when you have to find something for 5 people to do it suddenly seems like an impossible task.

I’m slowly but surely getting better at it, but it just isn’t natural for me. I really have to work at it. I never came up with activities before. I just always ended up involved. But you can’t just show up on your friends’ door with a family of five (a single guy can get away with that). Getting out the door is a major event, yet alone actually doing something.

I guess yesterday has revived my restlessness. I have to figure this out. The great unknown awaits. We must find a way to explore it without breaking the bank.

Music, that my other lost love. No radio in my jeep, and no radio at work. Listening to the radio at home is an event, though not a relaxing one. I need my Metallica, U2, White Zombie, Jim Crow, Doors, Janis Joplin, Pink Floyd, 80’s rock, and all things not post 1995. Again, I just need to acquire the tools to make music a part of my life again.

Back to yesterday, it has been so long since I’ve been extremely active that today has been miserable. It seems yesterday I had a full body work out. Today I had a one of those coughing fits you get when you forget which tube the food goes down and my sides hurt so bad with ever cough as the muscles screamed at me in agony. My arms hurt, my legs hurt, my a@# hurts. It is a good pain, but pain nonetheless. Makes me want to go out and do it again.

So now that I’ve rambled on about nothing and wasted a precious ten minutes of your life you will never get back again, I will be off to bed..

College Bound........... Again......... I think.......

2011-01-18T20:27:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about going to college for 23 years now. At first I was too young and just looking to the future. Then I couldn't afford it. Then I just wasn't motivated. Than I could afford it but was busy doing other things. Then I was busy doing other things and couldn't afford it. Now I am busy doing many things and might be able to afford it.

I am also currently motivated. Why you may ask?

First, I am running out of time to have taxpayers like myself compensate me for volunteering six years of my life to the Department of Offense (I mean defense) by paying my tuition cost. Also known as the GI Bill. Yes, I know it's forced relocation of money by the gov't. But the way I see it, I'm just getting my taxes back. I think I've given Uncle Sam enough money in taxes, social security benefits, FICA and other taxes. Not to mention DMV fees, Sales tax, parking tickets, speeding tickets, and countless other ways the gov't has ripped me off over my lifetime. It's time I get my money back.

Second, I am discovering in my middle age that progression beyond my current level of the corporate ladder is rather difficult without a degree. Not impossible, but certainly not a walk in the park. My Father successfully climbed the corporate ladder without a degree. But he is one of the few if not the only one that I know of who has succeeded on the non-degree route. I have achieved a relatively high level for my education, age and work experience. But stepping up beyond where I am is proving quite the challenge. And since I have no intention of being a Maintenance Planner the rest of my life, it's time to move forward.

So, I am looking for the key that opens many doors. It's amazing that our society puts such value on a piece of paper, but they do, and since I have and continue to gain work experience, I think it about time I get to working on the other side of the coin.

Lastly, I intend to follow the footsteps of an elderly man who works with me. He has been a floor worker for 30+ years. He bikes 15 miles to and from work daily. He manually loads aluminum day in and day out. He is always enrolled in one class. He says he doesn't ever intend to not be learning something new. I think that is a sound policy for anyone.

So wish me luck as I once again, hopefully successfully this time, venture back into the world of collegiate education. And for anyone else considering college, it would serve you well to read this article by Dr Gary North.
www.LowestCostColleges.com
It could save you a bundle of dough and much time. Because truth be told, I work in the corporate world, and rarely does anyone research the college you get your degree from. And if they do, as long as it is ABEC accredited (for you maintenance / engineering folk) or accredited by one of the six Regional accreditation agencies, it doesn't matter what school you get your degree from.

Test Prayer
Now I lay me down to study
I pray the Lord I won't go nutty
If I fail to learn this junk
I pray the Lord I will not flunk
But if I do don't pity me at all
Just lay my bones down in the study hall
Tell my teacher I did my best
Then pile my books upon my chest
Now I lay me down to rest
And pray I'll pass tomorrow's test
If I die before I wake
That's one lest test I'll have to take

Sufferin' Student

A Navy Captain once plagiarized this poem from me for a graduation speech.

What is your Ultimate Authority?

2010-12-13T23:09:00.000-08:00

Today I was visited by two Mormon missionaries. I rarely turn away a good theological debate. I debated a Muslim for over a year once (and lost). It was sad to listen to these two young men spouting the rhetoric that has been spoon fed them by the Mormon church. They get to present the arguments of other men, to complete strangers. They pay to spend two years of their life away from home for a faith they don't really know or understand. They think they are doing "God's will for them". I don't have have anything against being a missionary, but sending naive young men to spread the propaganda of a doctrine they barely are beginning to grasp is wrong.

If you see the guys on the bikes wearing dark pants and white dress shirts with ties, wish them well, cuz they are far from home.

I have been asked many times why I left the LDS church. I've come up with many answers over the years, but none of them quite got it right. But the answer is really quite simple.

Everyone has an ultimate authority. It's our starting place. Our presupposition (yeah, I know, big word). It is the place you eventually regress to. So why did I leave Mormonism? Because I have a presupposition that the Bible is the Holy and infallible Word of God. The LDS presupposition is that the LDS Prophet is the ultimate authority on earth. He trumps Scripture. My Ultimate Authority is the God of the Bible. And since a man can only have one master (or one truth), I left the church of my youth.

So the question is, what is your starting place? Your presupposition? Your ultimate authority? I don't need an answer. That question is for anyone who happens upon my banter to ask themselves.

Nothing in Particular at all

2010-11-09T22:34:00.000-08:00

The blogging world evades me. I've really just been very busy. What used to be my release (blogging) has become work. Facebook is so much quicker and easier. Yet not nearly as satisfying as a good blog. Unless you want to write a "NOTE" you are limited. So I have tried to be faithful to blogging at least once a month. Last month I use the excuse I was in NYC.

What follows are rants of various topics as they come into my head. Just venting. Don't mind me.

This year has been long. I am looking forward to it's end. The new year will hopefully bring a new job in a new place. Looking hard in Virginia. Hoping to get out of the corporate world of manufacturing. I think I've learned that corporations are all about keeping the board happy, and rarely about taking care of people. Like all political spectrum's, corporations care about the bottom line first. I'm tired of seeing hard working folks being treated like worthless pawns. The tendency to throw those making the right decisions under the bus while those who brown nose while making the wrong decisions continue to thrive and climb the corporate ladder. Quite frankly it's disheartening.

I'm am currently trying hard to get into one of two careers. One as a consultant who after some intense training would be instructing people how to better themselves and be more efficient. The other as a job recruiter helping find work for the unemployed. Both jobs would give me relative freedom to work at my own pace, my own way, on my own schedule. I am also passively sending out my resume to various potential opportunities as they arise.

I turned 34 recently. I was in NYC at the time and took POB (my wife) to see a Broadway play. It didn't really hit me though until today when I was trying to remember how old I was and had to calculate it. I never had this problem when I was in my 20's. But being married with kids, my actual age seems much less relevant than it did when I was young and single. My perspective has shifted from a self-centered, whimsical, what about today mentality to a guardian and protector. Someone who is constantly focused on the future, and the potential threats to the well being of his family. I can say I have become more cynical in the last few years.

I often joke with POB that we have become conspiracy theorist. I used to make fun of conspiracy theorist. But the more I learn, the more I become what I held in contempt. People like Alex Jones don't seem so crazy to me anymore. It's the Matrix, the Red pill or the Blue pill. Ignorance is truly Bliss.

However my quest for understanding of our world, of politics, of economics, of history, of freedom, and many other things which currently escape me, has left me spending much less time with God. Less time praying, reading scripture, leading home studies with my family. I have taken advantage of the blessing that God has given me by ignoring the one who has given all to me. I have tried to get back on the wagon many times in the past year, but I keep falling off.

It's as if my life has become confining and all I want to do is escape. But I don't turn to God, no, I turn to myself and my plans for the future. Maybe that is why LA feels like a cage and my apartment is no longer a place of rest. "I will figure it out. I always do." I'm so arrogant sometimes. No comments from the peanut gallery.

Part of the problem is my family has grown but our living quarters haven't. The little ones are quickly becoming not so little. They need space. They need to explore and learn of the outside world. They are full of of pent up energy and times of peace are few and far between, but quite the treasure. They are strong willed, stubborn, disobedient little brats. I used to think my stubbornness was a result of surviving my upbringing. Lately I have come to believe it is genetic. My kids have it, especially COB.

So what of the elections? Americans are in an uproar, the Tea Party came up with a vengeance, Rand Paul actually made it into the Senate. The net result will be a stalemate. House and Senate are clearly opposed. And the Obamanator will use the all mighty power of veto anyway. Alas we will be left at a stand still till the next election. Which might not be bad for the economy. A congress in gridlock can do little harm.

I don't think it matters. Our country is already destroyed. It cannot recover from the economic hole which it is still digging deeper. I used to think, what if the whole thing just fell apart like Rome. I figured it wouldn't happen in my lifetime. Yet today, I don't see how it can not happen in my lifetime. We are a sinking ship. I just hope I end up on a good life raft.

The lack of skill in America astounds me. I'm reading the biography of Buffalo Bill written by his sister. At age 8 he was hunting, and scouting and leading his family. By age 12 he was moving cattle. His father, a great orator, was also a skilled farmer, hunter, and builder. His father built for his family by hand the largest home at the time in that part of Kansas. As I continue to read I think of my own grandfather who also was a man of many talents. Or my grandmother who was a talented seamstress (good with anything that involved cloth, or yarn or string), a gardenerPuerto Rico.

So much knowledge is lost to my generation. So much more will be lost to this generation. It's ironic that in a world where the Internet can provide you with info on just about anything almost instantly, that we are all so ignorant. I long to learn the skills of old. Woodworking, metalworking, farming, hunting, foraging, camping, gun smithing, ect. I long to have the skill to uproot my family with the knowledge that wherever we go, we will thrive.

But my public education has left me with a narrow skill set. I'm highly intelligent, yet trapped. Trapped by ignorance born of a mind-numbing lack of real education. And the worst part is I know it, but don't know what to do about it.

Fatherhood and responsibility keep my grounded when I want to return to my Nomadic ways and see what new adventure and knowledge life can afford me. Sacrifice the wants of the hear and now in hopes that my children will be the better for it.

My children. If you know me, you know I homeschool. I am often challenged by stranger and love ones about my choice. Yet as I learn more and more about gov't schooling and see how year after year it changes for the worse, I can't but feel blessed that I can spare them from that unGodly institution called Public School. This year we started Latin and Logic. Of course there is much grumbling, but it is wonderful to see understanding come to a young man.

While we were in New York I was looking through the selection of Public High Schools that NYC has to offer. There were only two categories. Schools with a graduation rate greater than 85% and schools with a graduation rate of less than 50%. No middle ground. What I found most interesting is that almost every one of the upper level schools required Latin.

Well, I've babbled enough about who knows what. Maybe I should re-read this before I post it so I at least know what I'm putting out to my ever shrinking audience.

Time ~ you ain't no friend of mine

2010-09-18T22:12:00.000-07:00

Lately it seems that I have no time. For instance when I started this Blog I could spend hours writing and bantering. But now it seems it is a struggle to even post something once a month. When I was a teenager I rode a bike 10 miles a day, swam 2 to 6 hours a day, and went to school. Still had time to hang out with friends, play board games (Axis and Allies anyone), and countless other very time consuming things.

In the Navy it was a chore to find ways to pass the time. Long drives in the countryside, nights at Cozzy's comedy club, drinking with the boys and girls, movies, mountain biking, computer games, Bible studies, more driving, visiting everyone and anyone I could think, reading books for hours of and so on and so forth. Yet I still managed not to fill all the time available to me.

Then I got married and had children. Now it seems time is a priceless commodity I can't get enough of. I no longer have countless hours to spare, but every moment of the day seems taken up by jobs and tasks. It's seems you don't know what you have till it's gone. Not that I would give up the blessings God has given me. I would just like time to sit and read a book, go for a drive, enjoy and quiet day of mindless TV watching or get engrossed in a pointless video game.

Or spend a few days tearing apart my car just to put it back together. Maybe a nice spontaneous road trip to anywhere.

Alas, I haven't the time. When my kids grow up I'm sure I'll be begging for the days when I had no time. But for no, I'm looking forward to a brief weekend in Vegas, just me and my wife and a vacation to NYC. It's all I have time for.

Life is Short!

2010-08-21T22:48:00.000-07:00

My oldest sister died August 8th at the age of 42. She left behind a husband and four children. Death came to her via he Cancer.

I’m told she gave a profession of faith in Christ before she died. Lord, I hope that is true. Her Memorial was Friday. I took the task of planning and organizing the event. Her husband just wasn’t up to the task. All through the planning I was a task driven man. I’m a Maintenance Planner. Planning comes natural. So I kept myself engrossed in the task at hand. Everyone kept asking me how I was. And the truth of the matter I was fine. A little sad, but I was ok.

I had the dubious honor of picking up my sisters ashes. It marks the second time in recent years the ashes of a relative ended up under my roof. I bought a nice wooden box because those white boxes they give you are just tacky.

Friday was frantic. The slideshow and program didn’t get finished until minutes before the ceremony.

Sitting at the memorial service listening to the Pastor talk about the role of death in life, looking at the slideshow that I had put together (with some help), and just having the time to reflect on why I was sitting there, on why I had dedicated myself to planning this event, it all finally hit me. My palms starting sweating, my face grew heavy. For two weeks I had been doing all I could to be supportive to my family and suddenly here I was just lost in emotion.

I could hear her daughter and son mourning.

The end of the ceremony was for family. I took the lead. I hadn’t had time to prepare anything so I just started talking. 30 seconds in I was barely able to stand. Grief for the first time seized hold of me and all I could do was cry.

That evening most of the family and a long time family friend ended up at my place. The friend was a bartender and the drinks were flowing. It really was a good time. But I had to ask the question, “ Why does it take the death of a loved one for us to get together?”

We live life oblivious to how fragile it is. We thrive on living on the edge of death. High risk sports are the rave. Living on the Edge. We assume our relatives will be there forever. We assume our siblings will grow old with us. We don’t think we’ll get to watch our Daughters or Sons die. We put off God till tomorrow. We put off our loved ones because we are busy living our lives. We hold our tongues because we don’t want to offend. We ignore all the uncomfortable moments because it’s so much easier not to step outside of our comfort zone. Why rock the boat? There will always be tomorrow. Right?

But the truth is any moment could be our last moment. God could choose to take any one of us at any time. We don’t know God’s plan for us. As the saying goes “the only certainties in life are Death and Taxes”. And Death is usually looked upon as the end. But it’s not the end. Death is the beginning. It is the beginning of our eternal life. And that life will take one of two forms; Glory and praise with God in Heaven; facing the wrath of God for all eternity.

As I watched cancer eat my sister alive, as I could smell the dead cancer and see the pain from which there was no escape, I couldn’t help but think of my own mortality. And it occurred to me, as horrible as it is to watch someone you love die of cancer, this moment of suffering is nothing compared to the eternal wrath of God. And I heard “Nobody deserves to die like that”. Really? How do we ‘deserve’ to die?

We ‘deserve’ the eternal wrath of God. However we die, it is far from what we deserve for rebelling against God. What we deserve is far worse than anything man can imagine.

Lord willing my sisters profession of faith was genuine and even though she lived a sin filled life (if you knew her you knew she had her fair share of evil deeds), she is now at peace. She is enjoying the eternal rest that only God can provide. By Grace we are Saved, through Faith, Faith which is also a gift from God, lest we boast, in Jesus Christ who was given by the Father as a perfect and Holy Sacrifice, the perfect becoming Sin for us, all to the Glory of God Alone.

If we chose to love God it is because he first chose us and loved us while we were still slaves to sin and haters of God. Everything I’ve learned in my short life about God has new meaning. I know I have much to learn, but I am much more aware of how Great God’s gift of Grace is. And even in this I know my understanding is far removed from the reality of the Greatness of God which is far beyond anyone’s understanding.

Yesterday was a hard day, but it is a day the Lord has made.

“Before I was born, you planned each day for me” ~ King David.

I am grateful that God has blessed me with Grace through Faith in Christ. I am grateful that with that Grace he has blessed me with Wisdom and Knowledge. I know as painful as this has been, that it is part of God’s good and Holy plan. There is peace in knowing that God is in control and that my sisters death wasn’t just an accident, but that she died because God decided it was her time to come home.

“O death, where is your sting” ~ Psalmist… Though it certainly has stung me, I know it is only because I am still among the living and I know it’s because as I continue in my short time here on earth it will be without the presence of my sister.

To everyone who volunteered and helped me in this time of grief, I thank you and hopefully will get to thank you in person. To my family, I pray that God will bless you all with his Grace and Love.

It Seems God wants me to stay here a while

2010-07-11T20:19:00.000-07:00

I’ve been working really hard this year on getting out of California. But all my efforts have produced zero fruit. This week I think I resigned myself to the fact that God isn’t ready for me to leave LA just yet. Patty and I are making plans to better use the space we have in the mean time. It just doesn’t seem financially sound to move somewhere else in LA.

So how much longer will I be a Californian? Only God knows.

A lot has happened this year. This seems to be the year of illness and injury for my family. A whole winter with a sinus infection, Dental problems for both me and my wife, Darrien breaks his arm, Caleb ~ well Caleb is just a walking bruise. And of course the most imminent, my eldest sister is dying of Cancer. I think this is part of the reason God is keeping me here. I’m the only sibling close enough to help.

Most of the time we don’t think about our mortality. But watching my sister slowly and painfully die of cancer has certainly revived my sense of how fragile we are. I would not have believed the carnage cancer can produce had I not seen it first hand. At a recent gathering my Father said “No one deserves to die like that!” I’ve since thought about that statement. How do we ‘deserve’ to die?

This is quite the theological question. The answer is quite simple. We ‘deserve’ eternal death and hell. We deserve a torment far worse than cancer. We deserve the full wrath of God himself for eternity. Fire and brimstone, gnashing of teeth, everlasting torment and misery. We are all “Prone to Wander from God”. We have all sinned and rejected God. We all stand with the Apostle Paul in saying “O Wretched man that I am, who will save me from this body of death”.

By the grace of God we don’t have to suffer that fate. My sister is not Christian. I pray that God sustains her in this world long enough to save her soul. Because if he doesn’t this little bout with cancer will be a walk in the park compared to the wrath of God.

I have shared the gospel with her. I have tried to be a good Christian example (and I did a damned poor job of it). I have prayed. I know now that she is in God’s hands. His will be done. I just pray His will is to bestow His saving grace on a sinner (my sister).

As for me, I know God can take me any time. This could be my last hour on earth. I thank God for the knowledge of the gospel and for blessing me with the gracious gift of Faith In his only begotten Son. I pray that when God decides it is my time to face death, he does so quickly. I don’t have the pretense that I don’t ‘deserve’ a disease like cancer. I just hope God is merciful and takes me quickly.

“May the Grace of our Lord be with you, now and always may you stay blameless till He comes”

For it is by Grace we are saved through Faith in Jesus Christ our Lord, not of our own doing. We contribute nothing to our salvation, lest we boast, but all Glory to God who shows Mercy to his chosen.

May God's Grace be with you!

2010-06-05T22:51:00.000-07:00

Death is something we will all face someday. Most of us don’t think about it often. Three years ago my step-mother died. In less than three months my eldest sister will also have died. She has cancer.

Today we met at her house to watch her and her husband renew their wedding vows. It was both incredibly joyous and extremely sad. To see the love they have for each other and the pain of the knowledge of how little time they have left together, it was hard to see.

3 of her children were there. One chose to stay away. It was sad and disappointing. We gathered as a family, some of us having not seen each other for many many moons. There was laughing and dancing and kids playing and drinking.

Most of it was light hearted and joyous. But the white elephant of death was always there. Tears were shed.

I chose to broach the forbidden subject of God. I’m always nervous when trying to talk about God with members of my family. They don’t receive him well. I put together a collection of sermons by a good pastor. Something she could listen to in her condition without having to read or search. Something that just spells out the Gospel accurately and engagingly.

I took her husband aside, for I wanted his blessing. I didn’t know how to begin. But I started talking and soon we were engaged in Godly conversation. It was more then well received but welcomed. I was amazed at seeing God working before my eyes. I expected to offend and ended up leaving both of us speechless.

We both presented the gift to my sister and she received it well. Cracking jokes and laying insults as only she can.

And now I pray that she will come to understand what I know. That Death is just the doorway to God, and that by his grace, if you have been given faith in the Sacrifice of His Son, Jesus, then that is a glorious union.

“May the grace of our Lord be with you, now and always may you stay blameless till he comes.” I used to think being blameless before God meant living the perfect “good” life. Now I know that being blameless before God is simply being clothed in the righteousness of Christ who died for us. I know there is nothing I can bring to God that I have done that attributes to my Salvation.

It is that knowledge that allows me to say “Oh death, where is thy sting”. May God bless my sister with his grace to have faith in our Lord.

I met a man from Uruguay

2010-03-13T07:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had the privilege of enjoying a lunch with a stranger from Uruguay. He was a self taught PLC technician. He came to American in 2002 when his country was in turmoil. He barely spoke English.

He enrolled in an English as a second language class. Apparently Elderly Americans often volunteer to help at these classes. He met an old white couple who taught him finance and credit. They taught him to never buy anything on credit you can't pay for in cash, and then pay your credit down immediately. This includes a home.

With home prices in LA $400,000+ he thought this impossible. He has been in America for 7 years. He speaks perfect English. He is self employed. He has watched his Uruguayan friends buy homes, cars, stuff on credit. He said they made fun of him for not buying new stuff (his car is 8 years old and running strong). Then he told me he watched all of them lose their 'stuff' as their own personal credit bubbles burst. He still hasn't bought a home, but he is saving. He intends to do what most of us would think impossible. To buy a home in cash.

He has stuck to the advice of the wise old couple. He works hard and proves his worth to his customers. His customers are loyal because of it. He lives within his means, only buying what he can afford. He has built great credit, yet has zero debt. What he has he owns.

This is the 'American Dream'. This man is succeeding where so many of us born in America have failed.

Hard work, thrifty living and perseverance brings true wealth. This is the lessen we should be teaching our children. I'm glad the wise old couple volunteered their time and set this man on the right path. He came with nothing, he overcame the barrier of language, and he is thriving because he put forth the hard work and sacrifice to succeed.

One last note. He warned me "Don't ever mistake Wassabi for Guacamole" Apparently he had never seen either before he came here. He is truly wise.

Love and Marriage... Love and Marriage... Go together like a horse and carriage..

2010-02-23T19:40:00.000-08:00

As I approach my five year wedding anniversary, I'm thinking about what it means. I've decided to do a review of what God says about marriage and love.

When speaking of marriage, Jesus said,"What God has joined together, let not man separate" He goes on to say divorce was allowed because of the hardness of man's heart. So even thought Moses allowed divorce for Adultery or Abandonment, Jesus seems to be saying it is God who joins two people as husband and wife and we shouldn't break apart what God has joined for any reason. When you marry you make a vow before God. You promise God you will be with this person till you die.

That's a hard pill to swallow. So even those whose spouse has cheated on them should acknowledge that it is God who gave them their husband or wife. God chose that person for them. And God knew that person would cheat on you. But if our faith is in God, then we trust that God works all things out for good. How can the pain of a cheating spouse and the damage it does to a relationship be good? Well, if the lesson God wants you to learn is forgiveness, there is no greater challenge than forgiving and adulterous spouse. But it can be done.

Hopefully God never puts me or my wife in that position. But it helps to know whatever trials come into my marriage, it is God who chose this woman to be my wife and these trials to be my trials. And if I am to forgive even adultery, than certainly I am to forgive any lesser offense.

Just remember, there is a reason you vow to God. Because there comes a time in every marriage when the last person you want to be around is your spouse. Your vow is what keeps you together. Your vow is what carries you through.

"Love God, Love your neighbor" Your spouse IS your neighbor. Your closest neighbor. God says, if you love me, keep My commandments. Love is an action.
Paul lists the attribute of love

PATIENT: till death do us part. The whole of your human existence. Till you die. Patience is definitely needed. When you fight with a friend or someone you are dating you can always just go your own way. When you fight with your spouse, there is no where to go. Patience is a virtue much needed in marriage

KIND: If you love your spouse you shower them with kindness. When you are tired, when you are grumpy, when your patience is waning, when you you want to be angry.... you are to be Kind to your spouse

UNSELFISH: Marriage should be a give-give relationship. You give 100% and your spouse gives 100%. Not possible you say. I would agree, but that should be the goal. Give without the expectation of receiving. Be gracious in all you receive. When you let selfish expectations creep into marriage, your spouse is doomed to fail at meeting your selfish desires.

TRUTHFUL: many think it OK to lie as not to hurt your spouse. But if you love someone you are truthful. In marriage you learn the worst things about your spouse. You get to know the depths of their wretched ways. You learn things which others may never know about your spouse. That requires honesty. It requires vulnerability. It requires openness. There is no such thing as a small lie. And any lie has the potential to cause far greater damage than good.

HOPEFUL: Love is hopeful? I think this means that with Love comes blessings. It's not a wish (I hope I.... ), but it's assurance. Love gives you an assurance. It gives your spouse assurance.

ENDURES ALL THING: I'll refer back to the case of adultery. If you truly love your spouse you will endure their sin against God and forgive them. You will endure whatever it takes to move forward and heal. This is a daunting aspect of love. It helps to remember as King David declared," it is against you alone, Lord, that I have sinned." Whatever we do to our spouse, what we don't do is "sin against them". We may hurt them. We may make them feel rejected, unloved, ect. But when we sin it is against God alone that we sin. God chooses to forgive us our sin, our rejection of his law, his word, his command. If God whose ways are far above our ways can forgive his creation, we as his creation should be able to forgive each other, especially the person we have vow before God to Love.

NOT ENVIOUS: The grass is always greener on the other side. How easy is it to want what someone else has. To covet. It easy to look at your spouse and see something in them you want for your self. "Why do you get this, and I get that". "We need to be FAIR". To truly love your spouse, you are happy for the gifts God has given them. You share in their joy. "Misery loves company" is not a motto for marriage

NOT PROUD: The common phrase is "holier than thou". There is nothing wrong with acknowledging and appreciating the gifts God gives you. But you are not loving your spouse if you lord it over them or make them feel inferior.

NOT RUDE: this one is tricky. Rude can be subjective. "That's just the way I am" doesn't cut it. We already know what we consider rude, but what does your spouse consider rude. It most likely is not the same thing. I am learning this lesson the hard way.

NOT PROVOKED TO ANGER: Now there is such a thing as a righteous anger. Jesus overturned the tables in the temple in anger. But rarely do you find righteous anger in marriage. Usually anger in marriage is because we lack patience, we are rude, proud, envious, unkind, selfish, etc. I am know for pushing peoples buttons. I am often amazed at my wife's ability not to be provoked by me. Don't be easily provoked, but more importantly, don't provoke.

So, do you feel like you love your spouse OR are you loving your spouse with your actions. LOVE is an action. You may not FEEL love or in love, but you are commanded to Love. We are to Love our enemies. Sometimes your spouse feels like your enemy. LOVE THEM. Don't let your feelings get in the way of your LOVE. Love requires you to give UNCONDITIONALLY. It asks you give and expect nothing in return. It asks you to endure even when there is no hope of reprieve.

This is what you commit to when you marry. God has chosen for me a beautiful woman. She is not without flaws. Our differences certainly put me through the refining fire. I'm sure this stubborn Irishman has tested her as well. May God continue to bless us and mold us and help make us ONE.

Crooks of America

2010-01-29T19:06:00.000-08:00

It seems there is a scam around every corner. I've been getting allot of phone calls lately about "making money at home". Don't get me wrong, I'd love a business where I don't have to leave my home. I could move anywhere I wanted then. But they all try to sell the same spiel. Just give us $200 and we'll get you started. It's your own business. What business can you start for $200?

OK, now first the whole "this is your own business". What a bunch of hogwash. If it is a legitimate business at all, they are only seeking you to be a "contractor" because they don't have to pay workman's comp, health care, unemployment, ect. So even though you are a 'private contractor" you are still working to line someone else's pockets.

I'll be damned if I'm gonna pay a dime to line anyone else's pockets. You want me to work for you, than pay me to work for you. But don't try to sell me the "it's your business" crap.

Second round of Scam Artist

We are looking to move to a bigger home. We want to stay in the neighborhood where we are. We find a place on craigslist, walk a few blocks over and check it out. It's $1300/month. Two days later the same house is listed on craigslist for $1600/month. I contact the person. They tell me they are in London (new job) and are just looking for someone to take care of their home. Then they send me this phony application (my 10 year old could have done a better job).

Next day they send me an e'mail saying the person who has the key to show the house has come down ill and is in the hospital. My wife finds the same house on craigslist again for $2100/month, this time by a management agency. I called them up and they told me they are aware of the fraud and trying to catch the perp.

That night I post up a wanted add for a 3 bedroom in Whittier on craigslist. I really am looking. Today I get an e'mail. Different scam artist: his story
I'm living in Australia and really am just looking for someone to watch and take care of my home.. bla bla bla.. Unoriginal bastard.

So, the quest continues as I siphon through the crooks of America.

Ten Commandments

2010-01-10T20:06:00.000-08:00

Today our Pastor finished preaching on the “Ten Commandments”. As we’ve gone through this series I’ve my own failures to follow God’s Law. The first four commandments all pertain to Loving God. No other Gods, Taking God’s name in vain, Graven images of God and heaven and the Lords Sabbath. I certainly fail in all of these.

But it is the Loving One Another portion of God’s law that my failure truly becomes apparent to me.

COMMANDMENT 5

Honor Your Father and Your Mother ~ this law pertains to the proper relationship between parents and children and really extends to all authorities God has placed in our lives. I recently had an argument with my stepmother regarding my relationship with my Father. The truth is I don’t honor my parents. I barely speak to either of them. Yet I expect my children to honor me.

My disdain for authority has gotten me in hot water on many occasions. How do I teach my children a lesson I never learned myself? Hmmm. How do I begin to honor my parents? Why can I talk to my elders, my friends, my siblings, and complete strangers, but when faced with my parents I am silent?

God says we should honor our parents (authorities). He doesn’t say we should honor them if they are Christian or if they are good parents. We are to honor them, Period. They are entitled to honor by the fact that God has chosen them to be your parent.

COMMANDMENT 6

You Shall Not Murder ~ Most of us will say, “I’ve never killed anyone”. But this command goes much deeper than that. It deals with unjust anger. It deals with malicious intent of the heart. I have felt rage, anger, disdain, and contempt for my fellow man. I have rejoiced at my enemy’s misery.

I have been angry at my wife, my children, my siblings and my parents. These are those I am supposed to Love.

COMMANDMENT 7

You shall not commit adultery ~ Once again, most of us will say “I’ve never cheated on my spouse”. But Jesus said, if you lust in your heart, you are guilty. So, all of you men out there who have looked at a woman, who you weren’t married to, lustfully, please raise your hand. Now, I’m a man and I know how men think. But women are a mystery. I’m certain women look lustfully at men. I just don’t know how often or what would temp a women. In short, we are guilty.

COMMANDMENT 8

You shall not steal ~ This is really about honesty. Honesty in business, honesty in relationships, honesty in all transactions.

It is also about being a good steward of what God gives you. The earth and all that is in it belongs to God. We are to care for the things he gives us. Negligence in caring for our property is a violation of this law.

There is the obvious taking of another's property.

COMMANDMENT 9

Bearing a false witness ~ during the time of the judges if you testified falsely against your neighbor, then you were given the punishment you wanted him to receive. So if I accuse a man of murder falsely in hopes of his execution, I would be executed instead. How many of you would be willing to risk your own life or property to falsely accuse someone else?

But this is more than just courtroom drama. It is also about honesty. Not slandering your neighbor. Not gossiping (even the truth can be used as slander). God is very concerned that we deal fairly with one another.

COMMANDMENT 10

Thou shalt not covet ~ In short if we are not content with God’s providence in our lives. Our husbands, our wives, our children, our job, our home, our food, our resources, our burdens, than we covet more than God has chosen to give us. This doesn’t mean we don’t strive to better our lives. But it means we appreciate what we have. In want or wealth, it should be God’s grace that sustains us and keeps us satisfied.

I think it can be said that this is the commandment that leads us to break the rest.

I am grateful that it is by God’s grace I am saved and not by my obedience to God’s law. I’m a thankful that God has given me Faith in Jesus alone for redemption from my violation of his Law. It is God’s law that reminds me what a wretched sinner I am and how desperately I am in need of a savior. Thank God for being a Gracious God, for sending his Son to take my curse upon himself and pay the price for the sins I commit. Thank God I don’t have to count own “goodness” to save me.

Who has had the biggets impact on mankind? One Solitary Life

2009-12-16T21:34:00.000-08:00

Look through the annals of history and you will find many great and or powerful figures. Alexander the great, Gandhi, Muhammad, Columbus, Washington, Martin Luther, Napoleon, Constantine, Nero, Ramses, Moses, Noah, and so forth. The list goes on and on. Each of them has had a significant impact in the lives of those they came in contact with and for future generations.

But I have to agree with Reynold Price from Time Magazine when he writes "It would require much exotic calculation... to deny that the single most powerful figure-not merely in these two millenniums, but in all human history- has been Jesus of Nazareth"

Even our calendar is based upon his birth. His life and death continue to impact generation after generation. Wars have been fought in his name. The Power of his name is claimed by millions to heal, to save, to bring life, to bring joy. 167 years after Rome crucified him they worshiped him as a nation. The worlds most popular religions embrace him as an educator and teacher and some as God.

This one man, whatever you think of him, has influenced your life. You may love him, hate him, not believe in him, worship him as God, or just not care about him. But you can't escape his continuing influence in the world of man.

What did Jesus do that was so great? James Francis summarized his life.

"Here is a man who was born in an obscure village, the child of a peasant woman. He grew up in another obscure village. He worked in a carpenter shop until He was thirty, and then for three years He was an itinerant preacher. He never wrote a book. He never held an office.

He never owned a home. He never set foot inside a big city. He never traveled two hundred miles from the place where He was born. He had no credentials but Himself.

While still a young man, the tide of popular opinion turned against Him. His friends ran away. One of them denied Him. He was turned over to His enemies. He went through the mockery of a trial. He was nailed upon a cross between two thieves.

His executioners gambled for the only piece of property He had on earth while He was dying -- and that was His coat. When He was dead, He was taken down and laid in a borrowed grave through the pity of a friend.

Nineteen wide centuries have come and gone and today He is the centerpiece of the human race and the leader of progress. I am far within the mark when I say that all the armies that ever marched, and all the navies that ever were built, and all the parliaments that ever sat, and all the kings that ever reigned, put together have not affected the life of man upon this earth as powerfully as that One Solitary Life. "

Merry Christmas...... and stuff...

2009-12-13T22:24:00.000-08:00

Christmas is almost here. But I seem to be missing that "Holiday Spirit". We decided to refrain from buying anyone but the kids gifts. We have no room for a tree, so we bought a Rosemary bush (thanks to the Seniors for that idea). I like it, but everyone else thinks it's too small.

But beyond that, I haven't got into the Christmas music. We've no place to hang stockings this year. I haven't gone shopping for anything yet. I haven't even gone out to look at lights yet.

Why? I think I'm a bit put off by the commercialization of it all. Denny's had up "Merry Christmas" signs in mid November. You here all about Santa Clause and Frosty and Rudolph and Charlie Brown's Christmas (though they do read the Christmas Story). Trees and decorations galore.

Or I get funny looks when I tell people I don't lie to my kids about Santa Clause. I guess I'm just tired of everyone celebrating "Christmas" but not Christ.

There is a reason for Christmas. We get so wrapped up in Christmas that we forget about Christ. We forget to celebrate God. We forget this is about the birth of the Savior of the world. That little fact has become an afterthought. "Oh yeah, and that Christ fellow. What did he do again?"

Well Merry Christmas to you all. May the Grace of our Lord Jesus be with you. Now and always may he keep you blameless till he comes again.

19 children... oh my....!

2009-12-12T11:46:00.000-08:00

The Duggard's have just brought into this world a 19th child. This phenomenon has inspired news, reality shows, and gawking. Many are amazed, some are horrified. "It's not right to bring that many children under one roof" "it irresponsible" "how can they afford it".

In a world where condoms, chemical suppression and sometimes murder of unborn, and medical doctors deliberately killing of the unborn, I guess surprise at a family who adheres to God's command of "be fruitful and multiply" should be expected. It has become 'wrong' to have a big family.

Now I am a father of three. I tell you, they are a handful. Discipline and order are seemingly unattainable states in my house. I can't fathom trying to maintain the order with 6 times as many. Yet I myself came from a family of 7 kids. We had our issues, but the food was still cooked, the house was still cleaned and we all had beds to sleep in.

My grandfather was one of seventeen. No one was knocking at his parents door in amazement. This was "normal". Families had children. Sometimes the children died. Sometimes the mother died. Sometimes hardships were faced. Not enough food, large families under one small roof, ect. Hardships that today would be considered "abuse" brought families together. Struggles brought self-reliance and family reliance. Life happened and no one was amazed.

God says Children are a Blessing. That blessing doesn't stop at one or two, but continues on even if you have 21 or 22. God gives praise to a family "whose quiver is full". I've read God's Word numerous times in my life. Never have I seen anywhere God saying "you shouldn't have any more children". In fact quite the opposite. Numerous stories of women bearing children in "old age".

Children are a blessing no matter the age of the parent. Many children bring many blessings. Yes, there is hardship, yes raising children is a difficult task, yes it requires large sacrifice on the part of the parents. I will admit to days I'd like to throw the whole lot of my kids out the window. But God's plan is perfect. The blessing I will receive throughout my life because my children far out weigh the immediate concerns of hardship and frustration.

Thank God, He has blessed me with a family. May I do well for the quiver of Children He has given me. And never look upon those who choose to obey God's command as "strange" or "irresponsible", but blessed by God. For every child is a gift from God to you the parent.

Selective writers block

2009-11-23T21:40:00.000-08:00

Nothing to write. Why is it I am overwhelmed with thoughts I feel like sharing throughout the day, but when I get home and finally sit down to do some sharing, I draw a blank? That's been happening alot lately. Annoying.

So long, and thanks for the fishes

2009-11-08T21:01:00.000-08:00

Friends are easy to make. Lifelong friends are irreplaceable.

In less than a week my oldest and best friend (outside of my marriage that is) will be moving to Maryland. God has blessed him with a job in a Christian Law firm out there.

For me this is both a joyous and sad event. Joyous in knowing how this will bless his family. Sad in knowing that there is a good chance we may never live in the same city again.

When I came back to California I was blessed with all of my childhood buddies. Soon only three of us will be left. My family is all gone. And LA becomes more of a cesspool everyday. It seems the only thing left to stay here for is the Sunshine.

Of the three remaining I will probably be the only one to leave. The other two have heavy investments in family here. But where shall I go?

I've been contemplating that thought for years. So, will it be CDA, Id; Spokane, Wa; Boulder, Co; Chesapeake, Va; Maryland; New York; Tennessee; Do I have good reason to go to any of these places or to shun them? What is the best move for my family? Alas, only God really knows. All I know is that LA isn't the place to be, nor California for that matter.

Where ever I go, it will hopefully be my last big move. I think my Grandpa had it right when he settled in one place and made it his home. So I guess I better choose wisely.

I bid farewell to a lifelong friend and look forward in great anticipation to the day when I can say to California once and for all "so long, and thanks for the fishes"

Another year has passed!

2009-10-18T22:45:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning and was officially another year older. 33 years since God brought me out the womb.

This is the age the Lord was when he was killed on a cross. Thinking about his knowledge, wisdom, power, and faith at my age, I find myself lacking. He was a carpenter, he could fish, he was self sustaining. He was content to sleep where his head lay. He was a man of prayer, educated and knowledgeable. A man of strength and sacrifice. He inspired men, he confounded scholars, he challenged Rome, he faced his accusers and detractors head on. He was a only 33. Maybe it helped that his father was God.

I'm reading a biography on John Adams. At 15 he passed the Harvard Entrance Exam (which was to translate a passage into Latin) and was a full fledged lawyer by his early 20's. He studied civil law in Greek and Latin. And he was a farmer. Once again, I find myself lacking.

I've often sat with a lawyer friend of mine contemplating what we would do if/when the world as we knew it ended? We are both very intelligent men, educated, husbands and fathers. We both can do well well in a society where we make profit off of our intellect. But if we had to farm; build shelter; fish; hunt; gather; basic survival stuff, could we? What talent do you possess dear reader that will keep you alive when the supply train of instant goods is gone?

I label myself educated, but I can only speak and read one language. I don't know much about woodworking, metallurgy, carpentry, fishing, hunting, plumbing, electrical work, ect. I'm a decent general mechanic, but never had the opportunity to specialize in anything but Nuclear Power.

Most of history is a mystery to me. I've not read most of the "classic authors". I don't know law, or philosophy. I know enough science to know I don't know enough. Biology, health, healing, ect, all mysteries to me. In fact I'm astounded by what I don't know. The list is long.

I have a great potential for learning and understanding. But I seem to have a great void when it comes to the practical application. This thought disturbs me. Can I support and my family on the potential of my mind? Can a non-craftsman survive?

At the same time I look at the world around me and realize I am better educated than most. I am often looked at as a leader, creative thinker, hard worker, ect. Are these qualities that will help me feed my family in the years to come? Will the world still be willing to pay me for my mind, for my ability to organize and plan?

I often feel like the man behind the curtain.

There is no question that I'm a capable man, the question is, what am I capable of?

Boy, I think too much.

The 30 Day Challenge!

2009-09-13T19:33:00.000-07:00

I just read an article about a man who, as an experiment, completed a challenge I'm not sure I'm up for. He voluntarily agreed to do whatever his wife asked for 30 days.

He discovered some interesting facts in the month. A lesson we all should learn, is that it's not the big gestures that matter, but the accumulation of small gestures. He learned the "river of minor grievances" his wife has against him. He learned that both he and his wife were full of "sass" at that it was much better to fill their banter with niceness.

I don't think I'm ready for this challenge. But it did get me thinking. We are called to love our brides as Christ loved the church. It's a hard calling. Christ sacrificed much for his church. He was always giving. Never taking. He was a servant and he called us to be servants. How many of us husbands serve our wives? I'm not saying be submissive robots, like this challenge, but servants. Do we even know what that means? Do we know our wives needs? Do we know her "minor grievances"? Do we treat her with "sass" like she's a drinking buddy?

Next week my Pastor begins a 4 week class on marriage. I've been listening to his advice on Marriage longer than I've been married. I keep coming back because I always learn more. And I'll most assuredly go away with a fresh reminder of the challenge before me and my failings as a husband. My wife will assuredly walk away with the same. It's good to be reminded that we're not perfect. It's good to be reminded that our spouse is not perfect. It is an unreasonable expectation that your spouse be perfect.

As a wise man (my pastor) once told me, "Marriage isn't a 50-50 proposition, it's a 100-100 proposition". You have to give your 100% and you have to do so even when your spouse is giving 10%. Too often we think "I'll start giving, when he/she starts giving". Marriage isn't a give-take agreement. If you don't give unconditionally, you will fail. If you wait until your spouse starts "giving" you will never start.

Choose to full fill your wedding vows regardless of your spouse. The second you make your fulfillment of your vow conditional on your spouses fulfilment of their vow, you begin the road to failure.

Public School from the eyes of a schoolteacher

2009-09-05T16:15:00.000-07:00

I have often been criticized for homeschooling my children. They need "socialization". They need "trained" teachers. They need.. well whatever it is they "need" apparently my wife and I as parents, one a college graduate, one trained in Nuclear Power, seem not capable or qualified to give our kids.

I guess that begs the question, what makes one qualified to teach children? Below is a book written by a schoolteacher. I wouldn't ask you to read the whole thing, but read the Prologue. You might find it interesting to see what someone who spent 50+ years in the public school system has to say.

http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/underground/prologue.htm

I seriously doubt I will ever regret my decision to home school. The only thing I lose is the benefit of a two income family. What my children and my wife gain is worth far more than money.

What's a man got to do to get arrested these days?

2009-08-19T20:55:00.000-07:00

Went shopping today. In front of the store was a black and white just parked in the red zone like he owned the joint. So me being me I decided to look inside and see what cop cars look like these days.

High tech. Camera on the front and rear dash. Two more cameras on top pointing left and right. No shotgun as the cars of old days. No a more lethal weapon in the middle of the car: a computer. The pile of junk in the passenger seat told me he drove solo and was a slob.

After my curiosity was satisfied I proceeded on my way to go shopping. Shortly thereafter the owner of the car approached me. "I've got a witness that you tried to break into my car".

Me: No, I was looking at your car which was paid for with my tax dollars.

Cop: Did you try to open the door?

Me: Why would I try to open the door?

Cop: Did you?

Me: NO!

Cop: So if I fingerprint the door handle your prints won't be on them?

Me: No, and since when is it a crime to look at a car?

Cop: it isn't but tampering with a police vehicle is..

Me: Well than it's a good thing I was only looking than...

Cop: Would you have entered the car if the door was open?

Me: No, it's not my car, and since the door was closed the question is irrelevant

He continued to insist I had tried to break into his car. "So are you calling my witness a liar"

Me: I can't speak for your witness, I've told you what I did. It's up to you to decide who's lying.

He asked me such brilliant questions as
"What are you doing here?"
Me: Uh, I thought the shopping car full of groceries kind of gave me away, but since you asked, I'M SHOPPING!

In retrospect I'm lucky he didn't arrest me just for the hell of it. I was certainly spinning him up. I think he was hoping to arrest the Son of a Bitch who dared to touch his car. Or maybe he was just hoping to intimidate me. It certainly pissed him off that I dared stand toe to toe with him and make fun of his silly questions.

He kept up this agressively rude tone that no normal human talks in. I think he thought it made him sound menacing.

Alas he finally walked away clearly perterbed at me. I'm sure he's at home talking about the smug SOB in the supermarket.

Just another fine example of our tax dollars at work!

Obama's biggest fan is PO'd

2009-08-18T19:24:00.000-07:00

Apparently the cash for your junk car program has spun up even the most devout Obama fans. A friend of mine who regularly touts "Obama and me, we're gonna fix everything" is now on the list of Americans the Prez has pissed off.

I told him today, "You're probably the only American on the planet Obama hasn't pissed off yet." He proceeded to correct me. Apparently he's been trying to buy a car under the "we'll give you tax payer dollars for your junk car program". He's realized not only is it a scam, but that it is driving up the price of cars to an outrageous level. It has created a car bubble, to replace the housing bubble. Car dealers are loving it. "That's your man" I told him.

But even the car dealers know they have to milk it while they can. As one of them stated, "the bubble will burst and this well will dry up quickly".

So car buyers beware. There is no negotiating prices. No discounts. The dealers figure the gov't check is all the discount you need. They'll turn you away because they know the next sucker is right behind you waiting to get his gov't handout.

Be smart, keep your old clunker till the bubble bursts and the price of vehicles drops like a rock (kinda like the housing bubble). Then go shopping with the car dealers who will be begging for your business. Because today's dealers will just laugh you out the door if you try to negotiate.

Eternity

2009-08-16T14:48:00.000-07:00

Have you ever tried to think about eternity? I've tried. I can't truly fathom it. Just trying to comprehend it is scary.

Trying to imagine eternity in Hell is even worse. Remember your worst week. Remember how long that week seemed at the time. Now imagine it lasting forever. No end in sight ever. No light at the end of the tunnel.

But even when you take hell out of the picture, eternity is daunting. My short life here seems so long. What do you do in eternity? Time with no end.

The Bible says men used to live to be 800 and 900 years old. Even that is hard to imagine. Imagine living through the entire history of America. Movies like highlander have tried to capture that concept.

I know my life on this earth will eventually end. And then I'll be faced with eternity. I guess I'm just not ready to contemplate and accept what that truly means. It's hard enough dealing with the hear and now, without having to face never ending existence.

Light at the end of the tunnel

2009-08-15T19:10:00.000-07:00

Finacial freedom is around the corner. At least for me and my family. After years of struggle and debt I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, if all goes well, that light could be upon me as soon as October (if the planets are aligned and the world is in harmony).

It occurs to me that I've spent so much time focusing how to recover from debt that I never learned how to invest. And in todays economy, not sure it's time to take chances.

So what will I do with my newfound wealth? First and foremost SAVE. Need to build up that safety net. And start catching up on my retirement fund.

But there are a few items on my list of wants that would aid in making my life and the life of my family a bit more comfortable.

So I look with great joy at the end of my burden to debt. Hopefully I've learned enough to keep from ever being put under the oppression of owing someone else.

Raging Waters reveals the state of the union

2009-08-09T20:11:00.000-07:00

Took the family to Raging Waters. Had a family from church join us. We all had a great time.

However a water park has a way of revealing character. Some observation made by my spouse and I while people watching.

Asian females wore very conservative simple bathing suits

Anglo and Hispanic/Latina women all wore two piece bikinis that cover next to nothing, except for the heavier women who wear very conservative outfits

Black Women only wear bathing suits they fall out of no matter their size.

Black Men all were wearing their shorts around their knees with their boxers showing.

All other men wear your typical swim shorts

I guess I'm a little surprised. I expected the ratio of skimpy to conservative to be more balanced. It seems nobody wears one piece bathing suits unless they are overweight or Asian. And all men but blacks get the concept of swimming shorts. And black women have no worries about their image.

Tattoo's were everywhere. I remember when tattoo's were a rare thing. Now it seems you are the odd man or woman out if you don't have a tattoo.

Maybe I'm just getting old. I remember when the bikini was a rare thing. Women had self respect and covered up in a typical usually colorful one piece. Men all wore your basic swim shorts. Tattoos were for the truly rebellious.

Maybe it's the Dad in me thinking about my two boys and my girl. Will they want to cover their bodies in tattoo's? Will my daughter think it ok to walk around in dental floss bathing suits? Will they get into the body mutilation practices of this generation (ear holes, nose holes, other holes I won't mention here)?

I asked my pastor recently, how in today's world of sin and temptation, do you protect yourself and your children from the flood of bad stuff? There is no short answer. A whole book could be written on it. But since he's not writing a book he'll see what he can do about good advice as he goes through the ten commandments this year.

I just realized I have no closing thoughts... The state of this generation leaves me saddened and worried... This is our future... This is my children's future.. what does the future hold for them? What about my grandchildren?

Guess I'll just have to trust in the Grace of God and his promise to bless generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.

100 Push Up Challenge

2009-07-04T00:54:00.000-07:00

I've been a civilian for a long time now. For the first few years I was quite active and maintained relatively good shape. Lugging around a 25 pound bag of tools 8 hours a day will do that.

But these last few years, I've been strapped to a desk. And while mentally it is more tiring than a 25lb bag could ever be, I miss the physical work out and endurance.

Now when I was in the Navy I did pretty well for myself with just push-ups and pull-ups. Not much else to do when you are standing watch at the bottom of an air craft carrier. So when I ran across this:

http://hundredpushups.com/

it caught my eye.

I did the initial test and pulled off 21 push ups. Not bad for a guy who hasn't worked out in a few years. So, we'll see how I do. 6 weeks to 100 push ups. At my best I don't think I ever did more than fifty (not that I tried). I'll get back to you in about 6 weeks.

If this works, the next step is to take up biking again.

Where did all these holidays come from?

2009-06-29T19:08:00.000-07:00

I was looking at my calendar today counting holidays. America has way too many meaningless holidays.

Presidents day;
Labor day;
Thanksgiving;
Valentines Day;
Mothers day;
Fathers day;
Memorial day;
Halloween;
Christmas;
and Easter;
(there's more, but I'll spare you the rest)

Now I know what some readers are saying. "These are important holidays. What kind of feeling less wretch are you?"

Really? lets go down the list.

President's Day: first, who decided that Washington and Lincoln were the greatest things since Swiss cheese. Washington was an important man, but he made many mistakes (like signing a treaty written in French, which he didn't understand), and Lincoln, well.. if you believe the history books he is the greatest thing since Swiss cheese.

Labor Day: To this day I have no idea what labor day is about

Thanksgiving: is this not what we are supposed to do at every meal. why do I need a special holiday to thank God for what he gives me. This should be every day, every hour.

Valentines Day: OK, if you need a holiday to tell you to send your girl some flowers or tell her you love her, than you need more than a holiday, you need to rethink your relationship.

Mothers Day: how can I possibly be against Mothers day? well if you need a holiday to call your mother and tell her you love her, than you don't need a holiday, you need to start calling your mother on a regular basis and mending the relationship. Same thing for Fathers day.

These holidays actually ensure the important people in your life get less noticed. How you say? Well since we have 'Holidays' we don't need to put forth our own effort to decide when to call Mom and say hi, or call Dad, or tell the wife how much she means to you. We have holidays for that. isn't it great.

Moving on
Memorial Day: I'm a Navy Vet and I certainly have an appreciation for the men who have died in the military. And if Memorial day was actually about remembering and honoring our fallen sons, fathers, husbands and such, it might be worthy of a holiday, but it isn't. It's a facade put on by people who don't give a rats ass about our boys who have died. Because if they did give a rats ass about our sons they would stop sending them to die in meaningless wars. It looks good on TV though.

Halloween: Hmmm... Reformation Day has long been forgotten but for some reason we have no problem with ghosts, gobblins and more sugar than a kid needs in a lifetime all in one night.

Christmas and Easter: Santa Clause and the Easter bunny. Perfectly good reasons to lie to your children. I'm certainly not against remember Christ's birth or his resurrection. It's the facade of celebrating a bunny and a jolly old man which make these holidays absurd.

In short, the majority of American holidays are nothing more than commercialized obligations, and if you don't participate, your are scrooge, unpatriotic, your dad disowns you, your mom hates you, and your wife won't touch you with a ten foot pole.

On a brighter note, all the money we spend on these holidays boosts the economy.

Women and War

2009-06-13T22:09:00.000-07:00

As a young man I joined the Navy. I served amongst equally naive men and women as we travelled where we were told, did our 'duty' and came home.

I remember one particular day we were scheduled to pull into port in Bahrain (in the Persian Gulf). We didn't pull in however because instead we bombed Iraq. Later that day watching the Iraqi news, it was clear why we were there. The dead bodies and bloody messes were clear to see. We are a War machine and we are there to bring death to the enemy.

Today I was watching a USO show from Baghdad and seeing the young men and women got me thinking.

As a husband one of my duties is to keep my family from harm. When there is a strange noise in the house, I don't send my wife to investigate. I go check it out and make sure it's safe. It's not that my wife needs me to do this, but that is the role God has given me. I accepted the role of her protector the moment her father gave her away.

So if I wouldn't send me wife to investigate strange noises in my home, why would I send my daughter to war? Now that I have a daughter I can't imagine doing anything to put her in harms way. At the same time, I expect my boys to stand on their own. From the moment my daughter was born I knew my feelings for her, were far different than for my sons. It's not something I expected or wanted, it just IS. And I'm not saying I don't expect my daughter to learn to stand on her own. But if my daughter is ever in a situation where she has to use force to protect herself, than either I have failed or her future husband has failed. And having two older brothers and me as a Dad, she will certainly learn how to defend herself. I just hope she never has to use it.

We fail as husbands and fathers when we send our daughters to war. I know this notion offends the Feminist worldview, but as a husband and a father I can take no other stand. Our nation does a great disservice to our women when we let our young ladies join the military. We are putting the burden of War on our daughters. And we look down upon anyone who dares to say this is wrong.

It's bad enough to have our young men dying and seeing others die. Why submit our women to it as well, when they are the ones we are supposed to be protecting. They are the ones we are fighting for. When did we stop protecting our daughters? When did we lose the notion that it is our job, our duty, to protect our daughters? When did it become our daughters duty to protect us?

Why will many reading this call me sexist? If acknowledging the natural and overwhelming need to protect my women makes me a sexist, so be it. It's how God made me. As a father it will be hard if I ever have to watch my sons march off to war. It will be utterly devastating if I have to watch my daughter march off to war.

Maybe it because we don't even recognize our military as a military anymore. It's just a job, a road to college, a free education. It's a good school of discipline and order. These are just technical jobs, we aren't sending them to battle.

NO! It's a military and militarises are for WAR. War is for killing. The winner of a war is he who kills best or he who can sustain the most casualties. This is not where we want our women.

Maybe it's because we don't recognize the God ordained positions of Man and Woman. I'm learning in my "old age" what it means to be a man, a husband, a father. I'm learning what it means to be a mother, a wife and a daughter. We aren't the same. We can't be the same. God made us different. As long as we continue to reject God's order our daughters will continue to be in danger and our sons will never know what it is to be men. Our daughters will fail to be mothers and wives and our sons having been supplanted by the women will fail to be husbands and fathers.

And our children's children will pay the price for our failures and our rejection of God. I pray my Boys will know what it means to be a Man and that my daughter knows what it means to be a Woman.

Even Russia is Bashing us

2009-06-04T22:45:00.000-07:00

THE RUSSIAN PERSPECTIVE OF AMERICA....

Note from Don Wildmon: For years I have refused to use words such as Marxism, socialism or similar words when describing our current situation. However, it is time to call a spade a spade, regardless of how those who oppose us label us. Rome is burning. The article below was written by Stanislav Mishin, a blogger and columnist for the Russian newspaper Pravda.

American capitalism gone with a whimper . . . . .

It must be said, that like the breaking of a great dam, the American decent into Marxism is happening with breath taking speed, against the back drop of a passive, hapless sheeple, excuse me dear reader, I meant people.

True, the situation has been well prepared on and off for the past century, especially the past twenty years. The initial testing grounds was conducted upon our Holy Russia and a bloody test it was. But we Russians would not just roll over and give up our freedoms and our souls, no matter how much money Wall Street poured into the fists of the Marxists.

Those lessons were taken and used to properly prepare the American populace for the surrender of their freedoms and souls, to the whims of their elites and betters.

First, the population was dumbed down through a politicized and substandard education system based on pop culture, rather than the classics. Americans know more about their favorite TV dramas than the drama in DC that directly affects their lives. They care more for their "right" to choke down a McDonalds burger or a BurgerKing burger than for their constitutional rights. Then they turn around and lecture us (Russia) about our rights and about our "democracy". Pride blinds the foolish.

Then their faith in God was destroyed, until their churches, all tens of thousands of different "branches and denominations" were for the most part little more then Sunday circuses and their televangelists and top protestant mega preachers were more then happy to sell out their souls and flocks to be on the "winning" side of one pseudo Marxist politician or another. Their flocks may complain, but when explained that they would be on the "winning" side, their flocks were ever so quick to reject Christ in hopes for earthly power. Even our Holy Orthodox (Russian Orthodox) churches are scandalously liberalized in America.

The final collapse has come with the election of Barack Obama. His speed in the past three months has been truly impressive. His spending and money printing has been a record setting, not just in America's short history but in the world. If this keeps up for more than another year, and there is no sign that it will not, America at best will resemble the Wiemar Republic and at worst Zimbabwe.

These past two weeks have been the most breath taking of all. First came the announcement of a planned redesign of the American Byzantine tax system, by the very thieves who used it to bankroll their thefts, loses and swindles of hundreds of billions of dollars. These make our Russian oligarchs look little more than ordinary street thugs, in comparison. Yes, the Americans have beat our own thieves in the shear volumes. Should we congratulate them?

These men, of course, are not an elected panel but made up of appointees picked from the very financial oligarchs and their henchmen who are now gorging themselves on trillions of American dollars, in one bailout after another. They are also usurping the rights, duties and powers of the American congress (parliament). Again, congress has put up little more then a whimper to their masters.

Then came Barack Obama's command that GM's (General Motor) president step down from leadership of his company. That is correct, dear reader, in the land of "pure" free markets, the American president now has the power, the self given power, to fire CEOs and we can assume other employees of private companies, at will. Come hither, go dither, the centurion commands his minions.

So it should be no surprise that the American president has followed this up with a "bold" move of declaring that he and another group of unelected, chosen stooges will now redesign the entire automotive industry and will even be the guarantee of automobile policies. I am sure that if given the chance, they would happily try and redesign it for the whole of the world, too. Prime Minister Putin, less then two months ago, warned Obama and UK's Blair, not to follow the path to Marxism, it only leads to disaster. Apparently, even though we suffered 70 years of this Western sponsored horror show, we know nothing, as foolish, drunken Russians, so let our "wise" Anglo-Saxon fools find out the folly of their own pride.

Again, the American public has taken this with barely a whimper...but a "freeman" whimper.

So, should it be any surprise to discover that the Democratically controlled Congress of America is working on passing a new regulation that would give the American Treasury department the power to set "fair" maximum salaries, evaluate performance and control how private companies give out pay raises and bonuses? Senator Barney Franks, a social pervert basking in his homosexuality (of course, amongst the modern, enlightened American societal norm, as well as that of the general West, homosexuality is not only not a looked down upon life choice, but is often praised as a virtue) and his Marxist enlightenment, has led this effort. He stresses that this only affects companies that receive government monies, but it is retroactive and taken to a logical extreme, this would include any company or industry that has ever received a tax break or incentive.

The Russian owners of American companies and industries should look thoughtfully at this and the option of closing their facilities down and fleeing the land of the Red as fast as possible. In other words, divest while there is still value left.

The proud American will go down into his slavery with out a fight, beating his chest and proclaiming to the world, how free he really is. The world will only snicker.

Stanislav Mishin

The "Strawberry" Festival

2009-05-26T19:39:00.000-07:00

For Memorial Day the family and I decided we would go to the Strawberry Festival in Garden Grove. My old friend NLE joined us and we had a grand old time. Lots of rides and food and places to shop and strawbe...

oh wait, there were no strawberries, save for at one booth. How do you have a strawberry festival without strawberries? I was expecting, strawberry shortcake, strawberry shakes, strawberry jam, fried strawberries, strawberries on rye, and any other weird combination you can think of.

NOPE! One booth.

I had to go to Stator Bros and buy strawberries. Go figure!

Memorial Day

2009-05-24T17:22:00.000-07:00

Memorial Day weekend. Bar-b-que's, beach days, festivals, beer, family gatherings and... oh yeah, remembering the dead.

This country has seen the death of millions of young men. Many of them in the last 100 years. Many grandfathers can tell you stories of the World Wars. Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, Panama, and so on and so forth.

There are a handful of men in America who can tell you stories of friends who died; wars they fought in; son's brothers and fathers who never came home or came home forever scarred both physically and mentally.

There are many who will argue for or against the validity of this war or that war (or any war). I'm no different. But this weekend isn't about that argument, it's about remembering that our countries entire history if full of stories of young men who never came home. It's to remember those who still dedicate their young lives to our military.

So to those who served before me, to those who served with me, and to those still serving, and to those who died here is to you. The military journey is one that stays with you forever. Most start it as young men (women) naive to what they are about to undertake. None ever forget it.

So, while you are enjoying your family, your friends and your day off, remember those who died in war, and those who are risking their lives today.

We can argue over the ethics of War another day.

1 Year Down

2009-05-16T10:19:00.000-07:00

This has been a good week. My daughter had her first birthday. It's amazing how fast time flies. It doesn't feel likes it's been a year. But there she is standing and crawling and babbling.

I am blessed with three kids and everyday I wonder how they got so big. I know that I will blink and they will be gone. I just hope I will have raised them well.

Two other points of celebration. 1 year down at my job as well. And of course my new Lawyer friend.

PASS - FAIL

2009-05-16T09:36:00.000-07:00

Our society has few educational paths that end in a PASS/FAIL exam. I followed one of those paths many moons ago. It is quite the ordeal. You start knowing that you are embarking on a long, tortuous journey of study and hitting the books. In my particular path there were three schools you had to graduate from.

Test Day for the third and final school is tortuous. You have watched 2/3rds or more of you fellow student fail already. You know you have reached the final hurdle. You don't study this day. You just wait for it to begin. You step into a room with three board members. They proceed to assault you with questions. Draw this, what is this equation, how does it relate to this, why, how, when, where, what. There is no time to think and ponder, no saving that question for last, you know it or you don't. All of your efforts got you into this room standing before these men who will decide if you PASS or FAIL.

When the test is over you are sent outside and told to wait. That wait was only half an hour but it seemed like days. If you fail this test there is no retest. If you fail than you have just wasted all that time and effort.

This test I passed. I went on to find there are always more tests, though none quite like this one.

My friend BS took a similar test recently. State BAR. The test you must take to become a lawyer even though you've already graduated. It is a PASS/FAIL test. They make you wait months for your results. The good news is you can retake it if you fail. The bad news is you have to wait forever. Thursday was the day he found out if he Passed or Failed. What a day that must of been. To his credit he PASSED.

Congratulation's sir! You are now a member of an elite few. You have accomplished what only a handful of Americans ever will accomplish. No matter what you do from this point forward, you always have that. You always have the knowledge that you have succeeded where many have failed.

Enjoy your moment of success. You have earned it.

Don't worry, there will be more tests, but none of them like this one.

Hickory Smoked Salt

2009-05-09T19:31:00.000-07:00

Growing up we had all kinds of spices in my home. Whatever you were cooking, and whatever you were looking for, you could usually find it. But my favorite spice (especially to put on beef) was Hickory Smoked Salt. It was my bar-b-que seasoning of choice, and since I was always the bar-b-que cook it's what I always used.

I haven't been able to find Hickory Smoke Salt in many years. I look every time I go to a supermarket, and find everything but. I have managed to find liquid Hickory Smoke Salt, but it's just not the same.

So today I decided to search the net for it. And walla, I find it SPICE ISLAND OLD HICKORY SMOKE SALT. Just my brand. Almost $5 a bottle and $9 to ship. Can you believe that? $9 to ship a bottle of salt.

I'm pretty desperate, but not quite that desperate. I'll keep searching. Someone else has to have it.

Then again, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Just something to make you smile

2009-05-09T19:28:00.000-07:00

"There are alot of Irishman in England. They build roads, bridges, buildings and such. They come back a few years later and blow them up. Then they come back and build them again. Then they come back and blow them up. And the English haven't caught on. They think it's political. It's not. It's Job Security"

Not so Common Sense!

2009-04-27T21:18:00.000-07:00

http://www.cracked.com/article_17216_5-most-popular-safety-laws-that-dont-work.html

And I thought they were trying to protect me all along!

It's the end of the world as we know it!

2009-04-18T23:30:00.000-07:00

Most people don' t know this about me, but I'm a doom and gloom guy. I contemplate worst case scenarios all the time. Such as:
-What if terrorist, an earthquake, a drought, ect took out LA's water supply
-What if the economy continues it's downward spiral to the point that a loaf of bread can't be bought with a barrel full of money (Germany post WWI)
-What if our Socialist gov't grows into Russia (1980's)

It could go on, but these scenarios all lead to one question. How do you survive when the luxuries of modern existence are no longer an option? Up to this point I can say I'm wholly unprepared for such an event. I wouldn't fare better than they guy next door. I have no reserve food supply, no water, no idea how to maintain a live able temp in my home, no emergency plan.

You would think someone who spends so much time contemplating his own demise would have a plan. I've spent so much time in survival mode that preparation mode never seems to get here. I'm getting closer to preparation mode as I watch our economy continue to crash. Is it too late, or is there still time.

http://www.codylundin.com/
This is the man with the answers. And he's been nice enough to write a book on urban survival. BTW, I'd love to have his house.

Maybe like the many doom and gloomers before me, I'm fretting over a hypothetical that will never happen in my lifetime. But then again, maybe not.

Happy Resurrection Day

2009-04-11T22:40:00.000-07:00

Soon it will be Easter. I'll be hiding eggs for the kids and the family will be playing and enjoying each others company. But we'll not be thinking about Jesus, or his miraculous victory over death. We'll not be reading his story of what he did and why he did it and who he did it for. No, we'll be celebrating Bunnies and eggs, and whatever else this holiday has become.

I sit here thinking about where I am in life. Why God chose this time, this family, these circumstance for me? Every day I feel my humanity, my vulnerability, my inadequacy at who I am and what I do and who I'm responsible for. Yet, my family is somehow provide for, there is food on our table, a roof over our heads, cloths on our backs. We don't have an extravagant life, but we certainly aren't left wanting. God has truly provided for us.

I'm often told I'm good man, hard worker, good husband, good father, good this good that.... But when I look in the mirror, I don't see any of it. Kinda of like the woman whom is beautiful and everyone tells her so, but she looks in the mirror and can only see her flaws. I look in the mirror and my flaws glare out at me. No amount of blood and sweat can wipe away those flaws. They are like weeds, you pull one and three more pop up.

What are my flaws? Not sure I'm ready to lay them out for all to see. It's enough that I see them.

You know, when I was single I didn't much worry about my flaws. I was much more willing to sweep them under the rug. But as a husband and a father, my flaws become burdensome weights. My errors trickle down to my family. My bad ways and bad habits become my children's bad ways and bad habits. A carefree nomad is not fit to be a father. Yet I find myself longing to be that carefree nomad again. Ignorance is bliss. Irresponsibility, joyous.

But I am a husband and I am father. It's a heavy burden which God has deemed fit for men to bear. It is a burden filled with blessings. Blessings which usually aren't readily apparent when you want to throw your screaming two year old out of the jeep after the third hour of crying.

I guess I'm just tired. And worried. Our economy is collapsing, job security is a phantom, the home and the security I work so hard far, is always on the brink of slipping through my fingers.

I'm making all these plans for the future. Paying off debt, going back to school, buying a home, upgrading our family vehicle, starting a business. Each one by itself seems daunting and unattainable. Throw them all together and I'm beginning to buy into my wife's label of me. She affectionately labels me and my friends "The Dreamers".

But I'm not dreaming. I will achieve my goals. I will succeed and my family will be the better for it. Maybe I'm just looking for my second wind. Maybe I should be recognizing that right now is the calm before the storm. The storm is coming. The cards are not stacked in my favor. But I have to believe in my success. I have to trust God will carry me through. If I didn't have that hope, that assurance that God is in control and that he loves me and that he is driving my life and will drive my success, than I would just crumble into nothingness.

The burden of life; the burden of being a husband, father, provider; the burden of being a corporate leader, the driving force of a major division of my company; the burden of raising my kids to be God fearing adults; the burden of tomorrow, and the next day and the next day; the burden of friendship, being a shoulder to cry on; The burden of struggling to keep God's law which I know I'll never ever ever be able to do; the burden of existence, would crush me to dust. An so on and so forth.

I thank God that the burden is truly his. I thank God that while it may seem that I stand as Atlas with the world on my shoulders, it is truly I who am standing on the shoulders of God and it is he who is lifting and carrying the burdens which I bemoan about. It is He who assures me that I will get through today, and tomorrow and the day after.

And as I stand here tired, and weary with life, I know that I will be ok.

"When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part, but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live.
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul

But Lord 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul"

Horatio Spafford (you should read his story. He lost 5 children and his successful law business very shortly before writing this)

Happy Resurrection Day.

37 Years

2009-03-31T21:27:00.000-07:00

Today we had a retirement party for a gentlemen whose been with my company for 37 years. I wasn't even thought of 37 years ago. What did he do for all those years? He worked the floor and drove forklifts. Day in and day out for 37 years. And in his last year here, the only year I knew him, he was always smiling, always courteous and always safe. Everyday.

Where are the people like him today? Where is the young kid willing to work himself day in and day out, content that he brings home a paycheck for his family? Where is the young man who knows how to be wealthy at any wage? Where is the young man with the commitment to press on for 37 years?

I don't think I know anyone in my generation like that. My record at one job is 6 years, and that is only because I was under a contract that would land me in Ft Leavenworth had i violated it.

Where have all the good men gone?

The next Great Depression

2009-03-31T20:57:00.000-07:00

Who remembers the Great Depression? Neither do I. But everyone else does and they seem to believe that 12 years of gov't spending and gov't programs is what got us out of the Great Depression. And that seems to be our gov'ts plan today. Spend spend spend spend spend. Somebody, anybody, please explain to me how spending hundreds of billions of dollars we don't have is going to help us get out of debt. Somebody convinced Obama and all of the Democrats and many of the Republicans. Somebody convince me.

I'm tired of hearing that the Free Market failed. Really it did? When? When in any of your lives has there been a Free Market?

There can be no Free Market as long as there is gov't intervention and regulation. Gov't intervention has been growing since the Civil War. FDR accelerared the process and it's been getting worse ever since. Read 1984 written in the late 40's (I think). There are many that saw it coming, but we are the frog in the hot water that can't see that it will soon be boiling us alive.

A wise man once said, "There is nothing new under the sun". History always repeats itself and those who don't study history are doomed to repeat history. Why we got here is easy to explain. Where we are going is easy to see. How we survive the ride in tact is the question? Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

In the beginning.......... well, isn't that where we are now?

When I started wrting this I thought I was gonna ramble on for hours... but alas, I just don't feel like it. Off to watch LOST.

Buy or Rent

2009-03-23T21:35:00.000-07:00

Until recently I was seriously considering buying a house. But there is really only two reasons to buy a house and I'm not sure I meet either of the two criteria. The two reasons you buy a home are
1) You intend it own it long term as your family home
2) You intend it to be a rental unit.

I have no intention of spending the rest of my life in LA so option 1 is out. So what about option two?

Option 2 isn't as sure fire as it may seem. Even with the housing market approaching a 10 year low, there is no guarantee it won't crash even further. If the economy continues to tank to a level that no one can afford the "rent", than I'm stuck.

And since Congress and our beloved President are doing everything they can to prolong and deepen the recession, I have no faith that the economy will hold out enough to pay me rent.

I guess that leaves me a renter for now. At least that means I'm not tethered to any one place.

Peter Schiff on our economy

2009-03-20T23:36:00.001-07:00

If you want to know why we are, where we are, listen to this. It's long, but he spells it out for you.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3915119166991168859

40%

2009-03-20T23:30:00.000-07:00

FYI of the 4.3 million babies born in 2007, 40% were born to unwed mothers.

I fell into a burning ring of fire

2009-03-20T23:22:00.000-07:00

I've had this song stuck in my head since last Saturday. For the first time in two years (basically since Caleb was born) my wife and I went on a date. We joined up with a friend of mine at City Walk at Universal Studios and spent an evening in a piano bar drinking, singing and watching people make fools of themselves.

In retrospect, I wish we had done something a little bit quieter. But it was good to go out. Our next date? Will most likely be our anniversary. Look at 3 days and 2 nights in a quiet little mountain town called Idyllwid. Hiking, picnics, jacuzzi's, good food, critters and of course each other with no kids.

And then movie night.

Daylight Saving Time (DST)

2009-03-08T11:40:00.001-07:00

Today I should be at church. Instead I'm at home writing you, dear reader. Why? Daylight Saving time. Both me and my wife forget to change the clocks.

So I decided to look up how we came about this crazy habit of changing time.

Long gone is the day when the farmer woke to the rooster's crow and slept when the sunset, or the days of the sun dial where time was always based upon daylight hours and thus naturally adjusted throughout the year.

Now we live in a calculated time where we live by the clock which is based upon scientific study of how long a second, minute, hour, day and year should be. And so we stopped living by natures clock (the sun) and started living by man's clock (big Ben).

So Big Ben Franklin came up with the notion of Daylight Saving time, though at the time nobody listened to him. In a society that lives by the clock, who lives North of the equator, nature changes daylight for us. So is it wise to live like Arizona, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, American Samoa and until 2005, Indiana? Or is it better to send ourselves into self induces jet-lag for the sake of daylight?

The argument for Daylight saving time is twofold.

-We waste daylight if we don't adjust the clock an hour

-We save a whopping 1-2% in energy cost

Indiana used to be divided on the issue. Western Indiana practiced Daylight Saving Time and Eastern Indiana didn't. In 2005 a new law changed that and the whole state no practices the changing of the clocks. A study of the Energy used before and after the time change law show an increase in energy use after the change.

Now the "experts" argue that this finding won't be true of all areas (trying to retain their dignity in proclaiming the energy savings). Now I concede this may be true, but it is also true that the notion of DST being a universal energy saver is a false notion.

And so we are left with the "it is a better use of daylight" argument.

I personally think we would do just as well to spend an extra hour in darkness in the mornings of winter than to juggle our clocks twice a year. Most of us Angelino's are driving to work at that time anyway. This would afford us and our children that extra hour in the evening for outdoor time. And I wouldn't be sitting here at home, researching the beginning of this national if not global phenomenon.

Obamanation

2009-02-24T19:16:00.000-08:00

I've been an American my whole life. There have been six US Presidents in my lifetime. I just want to know why this is the first time in my life that every time the President speaks, every channel shuts down all regular programming to broadcast his oh-so-important, professionally drafted, reading via a teleprompter of someone elses words?

Just wondering what makes this President any different than the other five?

$9,700,000,000,000

2009-02-16T14:02:00.000-08:00

With the passing of the latest "Stimulus" package it is estimated the total money invested by the Federal Govt to stimulate our economy at $9.7 Trillion dollars. I thought it be fitting if we look at what that means. Look at that number again. Can you even fathom that much money? Based on that number it is estimated that the share of every citizen in America is $33,000. That is more than many American's make in a year. It's certainly a significant chunk of my income.

What are we "stimulating"?

Can someone explain to a simpleton like me how $9.7 Trillion Dollars of more debt is going to help me, my children and my grandchildren? Can someone explain how loading this incredible burden on the taxpayer is going to stop a recession / depression?

"Dear Citizens of America. We your leaders know you can't pay your bills and have no jobs, so we thought we'd take $33,000 from each of you to bail out bad investors, pad the pockets of our special interest and promote our socialist societal programs, further invading your lives until we can regulate and control everything. We are doing this in your best interest. Would we lie to you?"

So take a good long look at that number. Pay attention over the next few years as our economy continues to crumble. Pay attention when your Congressmen and President ask for the next "Stimulus" bill.

Ask yourself, are these the people I want running my country? Can I trust these people with my future? Can I trust them with my Children's future? My Grandchildren's?

I for one have run out of trust for our Govt. And as our economy crumbles around me I wonder what the future holds for me and my family? I wonder how I will survive? I wonder what I will have to give to my kids, my grandkids? When the boat is sinking and you look out 360 degrees and see only the horizon, what do you do?

Gary North on the American Gold Standard

2009-02-16T10:40:00.000-08:00

Mr North is a sound voice of economic reason in our economically battered society.

http://www.lewrockwell.com/north/north687.html

Abolish The Federal Reserve

2009-02-04T21:12:00.000-08:00

http://www.lewrockwell.com/paul/paul504.html

My favorite congressman strikes again. House Resolution 833 will certainly be ignored by everyone in congress save for it's sole sponsor. But what could be better for America than to do away with the agency responsible for the decimation of America's financial world.

Give Congress back the sole authority to regulate American currency. What a crazy notion right?

What is the definition of insanity? "Repeating the same behaviour over and over and over again expecting different results" Is that not what we do when we sit here expecting the Fed to fix our financial crisis by continuing to play God with inflation and our money.

This may be the only sane solution to our financial crisis to come out of Congress.

Here is to the only sane man in Congress.

UNMOUNTABLE DATA

2009-01-17T16:13:00.000-08:00

Not sure what that means, but for my computer it meant the BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH. I can't even boot up in Safe Mode. So I pulled out my discs and spent four hours of mind numbing troubleshooting including playing with the BIOS. Finally I succumbed to my IT inadequacies and called Dell. Since I had already done much of what they would have suggested they very quickly confirmed that my hard drive was toast.

The good news is I get a new hard drive. The bad news is, if I want my old data, I'll have to pay some computer geek to pull it off the fried drive.

On a completely different note God is providing abundantly for my family. After nearly half a decade of living on the financial edge, I'm about to come in to a small inheritance as well as finally get paid the remainder of the capital owed me by my former business partner. These combined incomes will finally close the door on my debt. It's a really good feeling knowing my family will finally be free of the burden of debt.

And me, being me, I'm already planning what to do with my new found wealth. What am I gonna do? Invest of course. And avoid any form of debt at all costs. What does that mean? If I need a car, I'll save for it, if I need furniture, I'll save for it, IF I NEED, I WILL SAVE.

I'm also working on the plans for a future business. Currently I have two partners. We will be a Christian Investment Corporation. Our primary goal will be to use existing capital (wealth we have saved and/or acquired) to invest and improve existing businesses or start new businesses.

I don't expect all of our ventures to succeed. However, because we will be using real capital and not credit, there will be no lingering debt if/when we fail at any particular venture. Our successful ventures will be used to help fund future ventures.

Why, after so many moons of living under the burden of debt due to the failure of my business am I so quickly seeking to go back into business? Because wealth isn't made over night. Because success comes from trial and error. The majority of wealthy people have failed many times.

I will not spend the rest of my existence on earth working to make someone else wealthy. No, I will spend the rest of my life building my legacy (with the help of my friends), teaching my children to do the same, and my grandchildren in turn. I'm off to a slow and rocky start, but I have faith.

So, here I go again.

From the White House

2008-12-29T22:12:00.001-08:00

I ran across this tonight. It left one question in my mind. Would a sitting President dare to give such a speech today?

http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=30031

Facebook

2008-12-29T21:24:00.000-08:00

Last night I joined the untold zombies of Facebook. A world where you can connect with friends and family without ever having to pick up a phone or knock on a door. You don't even have to send an e-mail. Just post a comment on their "wall".

I remember growing up visiting people. Going into peoples homes. Playing outside with friends. Having meals with my many families.

On a brighter note, for an ex nomad like me, who has more friends than he can keep track of, it is nice to be able to find the nostalgic faces of the past.

America - The land of the "FREE"!

2008-12-28T16:11:00.001-08:00

Here are two articles about America the "FREE", courtesy of my good friend BS.

One of them should make you laugh. Both of them should scare you. They scare me.

http://www.mindfully.org/Farm/2003/Everything-Is-Illegal1esp03.htm

Thank Goodness I Live in a Free Country

Makes me wonder how "FREE" this country will be for my Children and Grandchildren.

Dr. Don King

2008-12-17T22:03:00.000-08:00

Skin Cancer is in my blood. My father has it, my sister has it. So naturally my wife is concerned for me. As she likes to remind me, my back is a minefield of brown marks commonly called moles.

So after much harassment by my wife and my sister, I relented and went to see a Dermatologist. So a nurse comes in, looks at my chest, than looks at my back. Immediately I'm bombarded with a slew of questions concerning the little brown buggers. "I can't see my back, so I don't know, but my wife is in the lobby and she can tell you all about them".

Soon I am joined by my wife (and Caleb whom is attached to Mommy). Both ladies begin inspecting me and talking about my back and the many marks.

Soon the Dr Don King is called in. To my chagrin his wasn't black and his hair didn't look like he stuck it in an electric socket (I was so hoping). He walks in, introduces himself. Asks a few question. He than proceeds to walk around to look at my back.............

"OH MY GOD!"

Now, I'm no expert, but when a Dr who specialized in skin care; who sees countless patients and backs and fronts; begins a discussion about your body with the phrase "OH MY GOD!" it can't be a good thing.

Immediately there is discussion of biopsy and mapping my back and which moles we should biopsy. After much discussion they decide on the two winners. Apparently they are only allowed to biopsy two a day.

Dr King then proceeds to stick a very small, sharp needle into one of my moles. If you know me, you know I don't like small, sharp needles. Then within mere seconds the mole is cut and cauterized.

Notwithstanding the Dr's unnerving comment it was a relatively short and mostly painless visit. I have to go back tomorrow so they can continue to poke, prod and cauterize my back.

110 VOLTS

2008-12-10T20:46:00.000-08:00

How do you knock a 19 month old boy on his ass? Why 110 Volts of electricity of course. My wife found this out the hard way when Caleb stuck a hair pin in an electrical outlet today.

Darrien saw the whole thing. Caleb was sitting on the carpet, picked up my wife's hair pin and jammed it right in the socket. The resulting power surge knocked him on his back dimmed all the lights in the house and according to my wife, caused that glorious crackling sound.

About this time my phone rings. It's my wife calling to fill me in all the details and ask what to do. There are no burn marks and he seems ok, so I tell her to call the Pediatrician. The Pediatrician is astounded that we even asked and says go to the Emergency Room.

Normally I avoid hospitals like the plague. The human body has the miraculous ability to heal itself and most of the time I like it that way. But when you unnaturally run large quantities of electrons through the human body, it tends to do internal damage that isn't visible through normal observation. So I conceded and we took Taz to the ER.

He was scared and wouldn't let me put him down. He went into voluntary convulsion when they inflated a sleeve around his leg to take his BP. Similar results when they put the cold stethoscope on his chest.

Net Result
Kid is fine. No permanent or serious damage.
Only cost me $150 to verify that.

Of course we get home and what does Caleb do? Heads right back to the light socket and tries to remove the child safety cover. That kids gonna give me gray hair.

The Official Word

2008-12-01T22:14:00.000-08:00

Breaking News today. Are you listening? This is just startling news. Are you sitting? You're not gonna believe this. Maybe you should take a drink before I go on........

OK... here I go
.
.
.
We are now..............
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
OFFICIALLY IN A RECESSION!!!!

Can you believe it? Not only are we in a recession, but apparently we have been in this recession for the last year. I'm just in shock.

Because the plunging Real Estate market, the plunging Stock Market, and the rising unemployment hadn't already tipped me off. Record Foreclosures, Record Gold prices, and the fuel price roller coaster that is now plunging all failed to catch my attention.

Apparently we've all been living in a plastic bubble and we needed the US Govt to enlighten us that WE ARE IN A RECESSION. How much do you think the study to show us we are in a Recession cost us?

On a brighter note, as my good friend BS stated, "1.5 years to acknowledge what we already know was really speedy for a Govt Bureaucracy".

So to all of you whose bubble I just burst, tighten up those purse strings and hang on tight cuz the Dem's are taking over soon and then they will solve our financial crisis and we all can return to our debt filled bliss and our shiny bubbles of oblivion.

MOM, CAN WE GET..........?

2008-11-23T19:33:00.000-08:00

Every Parent has taken their kids shopping to hear those dreaded words over and over and over again. Can we get; can I have;

The only thing you want to get them is a muzzle.

My wife and I went to Sam's Club yesterday and of course the "Can we get's ?" began. After what seemed like a million NO's I heard the unexpected
"Mom, can we get Naked?" (and I'm sure anyone within screaming range also heard)
My wife and I both looked at each other in surprise and embarrassment. From my wife's face I could tell she was asking the same thing I was thinking "Did he just say that"? As we both looked around to see if anyone was paying attention, to our delight they all ignored us or at least acted as if they hadn't heard.

It turns out he was asking for "Naked Juice" (it's a brand apparently). We quickly denied his loud request and went on our way.

Just another glorious day in the life of a parent

California Prop 8

2008-10-26T00:34:00.000-07:00

Let me start by saying that I'm a God fearing Christian. As such, you can probably guess how I'm voting on Prop 8. But this isn't about my view of the issue. If someone wants to discuss my view of the issue, just send me an e-mail and I'll be happy to engage. A very old friend of my sent me an e'mail regarding her view of Prop 8. I may not agree with her but I've decided to share it hear. It was intended by her, to be heard by the masses.

So without any adieu and with names edited, here be her story.

I'M GETTING MARRIED by an old friend
I’m getting married. Not right now, but I actually want that prospect and it wasn't always this way.

When I was younger –5, 6, 7ish—my mom made a comment.

“Aye, my girl. You’d better marry a doctor or lawyer because you’re too expensive.”

To put the comment in context, my family was poorish, but my mom allowed my bro and me to each get one thing just for ourselves from the grocer every few weeks when we went shopping. My brother went for the sugary things like Apple Jacks, Cocoa Pebbles and Fruit Roll-Ups. Me: I gravitated towards Musilx cereal, import salami and shi-shi cheeses –the more expensive things, hence the “you’re too expensive” remark.

Why do I have to get married to get cheese, I thought. I’ll just be a doctor or lawyer and get everything myself.

Get-it-myself and do-it-myself pretty much summarized my M.O. and it was in that moment on that “marriage” wasn't for me.

Over the years my mom would tease me by saying things like “I going to get Mariachis for your wedding” and “I’m going to give you my wedding ring, but you better not loose it like your earrings.” She’d imagined my wedding and the happiness was visible in her dreamy eyes, her relaxed posture and heard in the ease of her breathing. She was sad/ depressed/ anxious so often for years and years… I did the "Snoopy dance" inside when she was happy. Those times when she was happy BECAUSE of me… I LOVED making mi chiqita happy.

Then one day during my 10th and 11th grade year (15, 16ish), I made her unhappy; very unhappy to the point of distress. Something came on TV. A public service announcement maybe. Something about treating people who are different than you equally. My bro and mom began throwing around the word “faggot”. A cold sinking feeling came over me, but I said in a clear and firm voice what I’d said only to myself the summer between 5th and 6th grade year: “I’m gay.”

“You’re WHAT? WHAT? REALLY? No you're not,” my bro said in an pubescent voice that hop-scotched four octaves.

“Oh no. But I had a GIRL,” was all I remember my mom saying as her voice began to crack.

In realizing I'd pushed my mom to tears… in realizing that she confused being gay with wanting a sex change… in realizing that I was not AB-SO-LUTE-LY CERTAIN that I was gay, I quickly ended the hysterics by saying “I’m just kidding” and went to my room to cry and find my resolve. For the remainder of high school I had a smattering of boyfriends and spent those years praying myself into migraine headache-inducing frenzies that at the end of “confusing” adolescence, I’d be normal; be straight; not gay. Not,
not,
not.

I was banking that KROQ’s Loveline radio show hosts Dr. Drew and The Poorman were right: adolescence could be a confusing period for some teenagers and the majority of people are not gay. I refused to be gay and I was going to not give my mom a reason to cry out of her shame of me.

“God, you’re so Mexican,” she said one night as I cracked open and ate salted peanuts from their shells with one hand and shoved in my mouth a tamale with the other. “I didn’t raise you to be a Mexican.”

“You can’t help who you are,” I said both laughing and dismayed. She was quite thoroughly brainwashed as a little girl by orphanage nuns in 1950's New Mexico and in the resulting assimilation, Azucena de Jesus became a more socially acceptable “Susie”. We are who we are and it was the truth.

Early in college, I met my first girlfriend. In our 3-year relationship (and those ensuing), I learned the difference between infatuation, admiration, an arraignment-of-convenience and a love that heals profound emotional wounds. I am still learning the difference between "baggage" I can work with and "deal-breaking" characteristics/habits I, personally, cannot.

My dad told me a few weeks ago that my bro and his girlfriend of two years, Jen, were planning to get married and I was THRILLED. Even strangers could see very clearly that they were happy and "right" for each other. But I also felt a sober sadness. Ever since I attempted to assert myself in my teens, my mom stopped teasing me about getting married. After dad told me about the engagement, he headed out of the room, but stopped to add one more thing in his halting, pensive way.

“You know, life has its ups and downs. Your mom and I know this and without her, I don’t know where I’d be… Life is just better when you have someone to share it with, ok, knucklehead?”

I don’t know exactly what he intended; whether he was trying to convince himself that it’s ok to let go of his little boy who became a full-on man before his eyes or whether he was, in a gentle way, trying to bring to my attention that I am a difficult person. (I use “complex,” but I’m not disputing the latter.)

What I DO dispute is that marriage and the family unit is threatened by activist judges pressured by radical activist gays and lesbians. (Well, I consider myself “cool” not so much radical, but then again I can be pretty awesome, so maybe “radical” is appropriate after all!)

For real though: marriage and families are in jeopardy because of my very delayed day-dreams of getting married to a woman by a judge in the awe-inspiring and ornate rotunda of San Francisco’s City Hall? My little girly dream of donning an elegant, flowing dress (sans the fluff) or maybe a couture, fitted tux before a small group of family and friends threatens or is a affront to the marriage of James and Alice NeedToMindTheirOwnBusiness in Weed, CA? Hope for my independent, personal growth means less or a flimsy happiness for my bro? Me: having a “wedding” to get “married” instead of having a “same-sex union” to get “domestically partnered” will continue societal “destabilization”? I didn’t know I had so much influence! Perhaps it could be put to greater good by fixing the economy (because measures and propositions curtailing, rescinding and/or preventing the expansion of civil liberties tend to come before voters during periods of prolonged, wide-spread economic disruption --um, like now).

What’s actually exaggerated are the claims that 1.) all places of worship will be forced to perform gay marriages, 2.) churches will loose their tax-exempt status if they refused to do so and the latest unfounded fear message is that 3.) little impressionable kids are going to be taught about gay marriage. All three are compelling lies, but lies none-the-less (check www.hrc.org or www.eqca.org or even the California State Secretary Deborah Bowen’s website searching key words like voting, 2008 General Election, proposition 8).

The claim about the kids really gets me. My mom and dad weren’t taught one way or the other about marriage –interracial (such as theirs) or otherwise –during the not-too-distant past when people risked being disowned for what is now a common feature in American society. Me: all I know is that I want to be with someone who accepts the grand majority of "me" for an indefinite amount of time to raise well-adjusted, thoughtful, expressive little people so they can grow-up and make their own honorable place in life. And rub my corns when I'm old and too arthritic to do so myself.

My point: Vote NO on Prop. 8 because it will take away a civil right that I,
and all California gays and lesbians just got (with help from moderate-conservative Regan Era appointed judges, by the way).

I didn’t poll all the gays and lesbians in CA, so I can only speak for myself: I have as much intention to mess-up/ disrespect/ undermine marriage as what my dad had in mind when he slid a ring on my mom’s finger 35-years-ago at the start of a marriage as controversial then as what gay marriage is now.

“Mi chiqita, I like Jen. I think she’s a nice person and she makes Keith happy, but, uh, you’re still giving me your ring, right?”

My mom’s ring is an almost gaudy, thick 24k gold band with a diamond bling-bling rock securely fastened to it. It’s so not my style, but in my mind it’s inextricably associated with her. I see it and I remember singing next to her in church when I was small (ok; smallER), and it reminds me that time passes quickly and I won’t have my parents forever.

She reassured me it’s mine, but also mentioned that she won’t be on-hand to see me get married to the woman who "really does it for me" like Jen does for Keith. Although I want the ring for sentimental reasons, I’d rather have my mom at my wedding. You voting NO on Prop. 8 gives me time to get a very stubborn, traditional Catholic woman to “come around” and embrace a more inclusive definition of marriage. –Hey, she referred to my recent ex as my “partner”. As sterile as the term is, it actually means progress.

p.s.: for more info on how you (even if you're out-of-state or ineligible to vote) can help the NO on Prop 8 campaign go to:
http://www.noonprop8.com/

Early voting is now underway in L.A. County at the Norwalk County Clerk's office (M-F; 8am to 5pm) until Nov. 3rd, btw.

Another Year Older and Deeper In Debt

2008-10-25T23:39:00.000-07:00

"You load sixteen tons, what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store"

I've been on the tail end of debt for some time now. This year I've been blessed with a new job and greater financial freedom. For the first time in a long time I'm beginning to whittle down the great debt monster. So just as I'm beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel the economic bubble bursts.

Our nation is in a downward spiral that no "bailout" the gov't can conceive will fix. I've expected this for a long time. I was just hoping to have my hedge built before the tidal wave hit. My hedge is small and I'd be lying if I said I'm not worried.

I do have some positive things going for me. I work in a good industry. I am in management which means I've managed to elude the massive layoff's of the past few months. I have a good head on my shoulder and many people in high places whom believe in me. I'm sure I'll weather the financial meltdown of 08' but I can't help but wish I had a little more time to build that hedge.

I'm sitting here wondering if I had a point to my banter. Sixteen Ton's popped into my head. A great old song that reminds me of my childhood. Thinking about the lyrics brought our current "debt" financed society to mind. What ever happened to savings? What ever happened to only buying what you can afford? My Grandpa bought 7 houses in cash. I doubt he ever paid for anything with credit. Maybe if he hadn't died when I was one he could have taught me the value of savings and living within your means. But that is a lesson I had to learn the hard way, and I'm still paying for it. At this rate I'll be paying for it till the turn of the decade. My Dad never learned that lesson from Grandpa. He had a fully paid for home, courtesy of my Grandma, and he mortgaged it for spending cash. Borrow and pay, borrow and pay. What a scam.

Went shopping for Halloween Costumes today. There is another racket. Why do I want to pay $30 for a costume my kid is going to wear once for about 3 hours. Multiply that by three kids and you get $30/hour to trick or treat. Are you kidding me. Now i'm sitting here thinking about the next racket (Christmas).

Don't get me wrong, I"m Christian, I love my God, but Christmas isn't about Christ anymore, it's about Santa Clause and buying gifts for everyone you know under the sun and corny songs and Pine trees wrapped in lights waiting to start a fire.

On a brighter note, last week the Sherrif finally locked my brother out of the family estate. They just shook their heads as they walked through the house amazed at what my brother has done to the place. When I showed up to meet the Sherrif Chris had all of the Estate appliances (washer, dryer, ect) on the lawn with FOR SALE signs on them. Apparently he's been having frequent yard sales lately selling off his mothers things. What a smuck.

The neighbors were overjoyed that the house was finally empty. One ran to the hardware store to buy bolts and locks for the garage, another helped me change the locks, another helped move all the furniture back into the yard.

I'm having the broken front window boarded up tomorrow. And I'm ready to call in the calvary to throw all the junk left behind away as soon as the 15 day post eviction waiting period is up. The house will be up for sale soon. Thank God for small (and large) miracles.
One of the neighbors is already showing interest (he told me and Kathryn two months ago that he's not interested, but we better. He's wanted this property for over a decade). He pounced on the realtors the second they arrived.

Vicki will be visiting next weekend. I wonder if you are allowed to take human remains on a plane. I hope so cause my wife is really anxious to be rid of Theresa's ashes. Most of the time I don't even remember they are there, but my wife seems haunted by them.

Well, now that I know there is no point to all of this I'll say goodbye.

NONE OF THE ABOVE

2008-09-22T13:32:00.000-07:00

I wrote this earlier today, but just now found this 16 minute speech by Ron Paul. I think he makes the point much better than I do.
http://cspanjunkie.org/?p=459
If you are still here you can read my initial post below.

In the 80's Richard Prior and John Candy starred in a movie called Brewster's Millions. One of the gimmicks of this instant millionaire was to run a campaign for "NONE OF THE ABOVE".

As a kid I found it funny, as an adult I find it an acceptable slogan. Who shall I vote for? NONE OF THE ABOVE. And in the great state of California my vote will be discarded if I write in a candidate. So because my choice isn't 'officially' listed on the ballot, my vote is invalid.

So what shall I do? I could do as I've done in the past and vote for "the lesser of two evils". That seems to be the popular thing to do. I could join the majority of Americans who chose not to vote. I could write in the Candidate I believe is best for myself, my children and my country, knowing my vote will be cast away. I could vote for a third party candidate whom isn't as scary as the majority party candidates, and is at least closer to my views.

The short term net result of what I do is simple; One of two men, neither of whom will better America, will become President.

Could my choice have a long term effect? Can my generation work to escape the two party trap we have lived in for most of our nations history? If not, our gov't will continue to grow, a house with no foundation. And we will continue to be the camel of the world carrying an enormous burden until finally the straw will break our back.

So, I won't tell you who to vote FOR, but who not to vote for. Vote NONE OF THE ABOVE (Democrat or Republican). For a vote for either of the two majority party candidates is a vote for more gov't, more layers of straw on our backs.

Don't do this for yourself. Do it for your children, grandchildren, and future generation who will inherit the burden we give them, just as we have inherited the burden our fathers left us. And maybe someday the silent majority will follow our lead and help vote out the two party system.

A DAY AT THE BEACH

2008-08-09T10:13:00.000-07:00

My wife's niece came to visit us for 3 weeks. She comes every year.

On her last day hear I decided a day at the beach would be nice. We drive down to the beach and have to hike in about 400 yards. The whole way they are griping and moaning. I made them carry things, like towels and boogie boards (so heavy). By the time we arrived at a clear spot on the beach I was so annoyed I was ready to leave. Eventually the chaos settled and the water was calling. I ran down to my old friend (the great Pacific Ocean) and dove in with gusto. Swam out, body surfed back in. It was a glorious time.

As I came back in to shore I was walking towards my wife and Caleb who was not liking the moving water when I felt my pocket. In the chaos and annoyance of the kids wining I had completely forgot to take my keys and phone out of my pocket. FYI Saltwater and Cell phones are a bad combination. On a brighter note, both keys and phone stayed in my pocket and were not swallowed by the ocean.

So I spent a whole week without a cell phone. It wasn't as bad as I thought. But alas, today I bought a new electronic leash.

Anyone reading who actually knows me, please call me or e'mail you phone number since I lost almost everyones number.

STANDING OUTSIDE THE FIRE!

2008-07-30T10:15:00.000-07:00

I've been at my new job about 3 months now. I'm just getting settled in. I'm developing good rapport with my my guys. I'm loving the swing shift. And truthfully my job is easy.

Now I've been asked to step into a different role. It's day shift which mean I have to start waking up to alarm clocks again. And it's way more stressful that what I do now.

There is actually a long list of pros and cons for both positions. I guess I'm just reluctant to change when I'm just getting used to what I'm doing and I know there is still so much to accomplish with my guys. I'm reluctant to jump back into the stressful life of planning and scheduling. I'm enjoying the stress free life and was looking forward to enjoying the stress free life for at least a season.

Actually it has been a season. OK I was looking forward to the stress free life for more than one season.

I've already decided to accept the new position. I'm mourning the anticipated loss of the easy life. But you can't move forward in life by sitting in the path of least resistance. "Life is not tried, it is merely survived, if you're standing outside the fire." So back to the forge I go.

Wish me luck.

DEATH OF THE KING

2008-07-05T01:02:00.000-07:00

2 years ago my wife and I went out to buy a new bed. She was pregnant with Caleb and with her growing belly we just didn't fit together on a full sized matress. We only wanted to upgrade once so we decided bigger was better. After a lengthy discussion we decided a King over a California King would be better. The reason being is my skinny self sprawls out and takes up lots of space, so we chose the widest bed on the market.

Recently we've been bed cover shopping and much to my chagrin we've found that it is impossible to find coverings for a King sized bed. When I asked a sales associate why I was told "We don't carry King anymore, only Cal King". YOU WHAT?

Of course I thought this was just one store. "Oh now, it's company wide." Fine, I'll go look elsewhere for my covers. So the next major store chain we tried brought the exact same results.

Apparently, unbeknownst to me, someone decided to phase out King sized covers from department stores and now all you can find are Cal Kings. Quite perturbing when you own a King sized bed. Because I live in California I can't have a regular King?

I'm beginning to wonder if this is only a California problem or if it is happening elsewhere in the world. One of the stores I tried was Sears (believe it or not). And on our way out the door we passed the matress section, where oddly, they offered only King sized matresses (not a Cal King in sight).

I must be in the twilight zone. Oh wait, I'm in California, which is just as bad.

A DYING BREED!

2008-06-26T10:42:00.000-07:00

I have had the privilege of working with some very talented men in my life. Self motivated hard working men who learned through the school of hard knocks and as such can do most anything at some level. Most of these men are older and on the verge of retirement.

Now for the sad part. The torch isn't being passed. Instead the flame of knowledge is burning out as these men take their knowledge and talent with them to retirement or to the grave. I've asked why they haven't shared their knowledge with the younger generation. Almost all of them give the same answer. "No one wants to learn. It takes time to learn what I have to teach and your generation wants the quick fix answer".

In the age of "Instant Gratification" we have lost the patience of dedication in search of skill and knowledge. We have taken away the school of hard knocks and now just look for specialized talent or contracted work. We pay someone else to do our work and then wonder why "our" team has no talent. We fail to train our men, and then complain when they know nothing.

I fear shortly I will be left in a world of ignorance. I fear the knowledge pool will be gone before I have finished drinking from it. The gap will be huge and the shoes left empty impossible to fill.

Am I prepared for this up and coming loss due to retirement? I don't think anybody is. This is going to be a hard decade for technological fields. Those of us left in the coming knowledge vacuum will have to step up. We will need to be motivated and dedicated to learning what we failed to learn while the Wisdom was still readily available. Are there enough of my generation with the drive to meet the task? So far the answer seems to be no.

So what can I do? Hmmm, lead by example, dedicate my own life to salvaging the outgoing wisdom and keep my team of workers motivated in the search of deeper knowledge and understanding.

Comedians

2008-06-15T01:12:00.000-07:00

"Black kids are magicians, they make their fathers disappear!"

Did he just say that? *blinks* He did just say that.

Actually I didn't. The black comedian I watching at 1am did. Not sure why I'm up at 1am, but I am. Now I don't know about you, but that line had me rolling. (it's probably funnier when delivered by someone other than me)

"the average white man gets pulled over and he's thinking, 'I hope I don't get a ticket'. I get pulled over and I'm thinking, 'I hope nobody who looks like me did something'."

I love great comedians, but I think black comedians have an unfair advantage. They are allowed to throw out the borderline if not blatant racist jokes that would get anyone else blacklisted. Labelled a bigot.

Guess that's just part of living in our politically correct world.

Ok, one more joke. Read it slowly with an Irish accent.

"This jokes about an Irishman working in England. As you know there's alot of Irishman working in England. They go over there and help em to build the skyscrapers, the highways, the supermarkets, the hotels. And then they go back a couple of years later and blow them all up... and then they go back and build them again.. and than they go and blow them all up.. and then they go back and build them again. And the English haven't caught on yet. They think it's political. It's not. It's Job Security!"

and on that note, I'm off to bed.

Living for Posterity

2008-06-01T22:28:00.000-07:00

I've lived my life in survival mode. Always living to get through the day, but rarely looking to future.

In my defense, I am a dreamer, as my wife likes to remind me. I've spent many an hour dreaming of possible futures, possible business ventures, possible realities.

So where has a life of dreams and survival gotten me? As the song goes, "Another day older and deeper in debt". This would be acceptable to me if it was just me. But it's me, my wife and my three kids. Poverty, sofa hopping, dreaming without pursuing of dreams, living on whims, seizing the day without care or worry of tomorrow; all a me I can no longer be. The future matters. It's something to plan and prepare for. To strive for. Survival worked when I was a bachelor but it has become a burden as a family man.

Today PP gave a sermon on planning for the future. Part of Israel's failure before God was her failure to look ahead. It had me thinking about other Bible passages. God says we are to build an inheritance for our grandchildren (and I would say for our great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren). This being both a spiritual inheritance and a physical inheritance. The blessings God gives to me and my wife are supposed to be carried on to my posterity. This means I have to do more than survive, I have to excel. I have to get out of debt, and learn how to wisely invest my money to create an empire for me and my family. I need to teach my children the lessons I've learned; about God; about debt; about family; about all of the knowledge God has given me. If I don't pass what I have learned through the school of hard knocks onto my children, than I am failing them.

I sat thinking about what my parents and grandparents left me. My grandfather had a stronger work ethic than anyone I've ever known. This man came to America with nothing and died with 7 homes paid for in cash and a small fortune in the bank all earned through hard work at normal everyday jobs. He left it all to his wife and kids when he died. My grandmother, being a product of the great depression, was the most frugal person I ever knew and she certainly didn't waste it. But their children did and all that my grandfather worked for in his life vanished in less than a decade. See, my grandparents were two very talented people, and some of that they passed on to their children, but they failed to pass on their financial knowledge, and they failed to pass on any real spiritual knowledge. The net result is they left their children bankrupt (financially and spiritually).

So my father had little to pass on to me (my mother had even less). What little they had, not even that was passed on to me. It's as if I grew up in a vacuum. Survival is all I've ever known.

So now what? Now I learn the hard way. Now I move forward. Now I pass on to my posterity what I have had to teach myself. Now I live for the future, not just my future (that's the least of my worries), but my childrens future, my grand-childrens future. It is they who will see the greatest rewards of my labor.

I've learned late in life lessons which could have benefitted me greatly when I was younger. Now I'm digging myself out of a hole of my own creation. Maybe my children's hole won't be so deep if I can teach them rightly in their youth. And maybe my grand-children's hole will be even shallower.

My wife and I are both 1st generation Christians. We are bound to make many mistakes. But I think we are headed on the right path and I am confident my posterity will be blessed because of it. Maybe the Lord will let me live long enough to see the benifits of my labor proclaimed through my grand-children and great-grand-children.

I thought I was so wise when I was a teenager. Am I going to look back at me today and say, "what a young fool you were"?

CrossRoads

2008-05-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

It seems God has a way of keeping me on my toes. My world has been turned upside down all at once. Today I sit at the crossroads of my life with a slur of beginnings and endings wondering what tomorrow will be like.

May 13th at 10:16am Jahaira Lynne O'Brien was born. 8lbs 10oz 20.5 inches. My first new beginning. I've been a Dad for quite some time now. First to my stepson, then to my firstborn son and now a baby girl. I was surprised at the different feelings I developed. I've always heard the phrase "Daddy's Girl" but never understood it until now. Not that I don't love my son's, but I'm not very protective of them. I expect them to figure it out and experience the school of hard knocks. Yet I already feel myself being very protective of Jahaira. I'm thinking at this point, I'm going to have to count on Mom and bro's to teach her the school of hard knocks, cuz Daddy wants to build a wall (Pink Floyd anyone).

My first ending is also my second beginning. End of unemployment and the beginning of a new job. Quite frankly I was enjoying unemployment. Not waking up to an alarm clock, spending time with the wife and kids. My new employer has expressed very high expectations. Me being me, I'm of course questioning if I can meet them, when in reality, I'll set my mind to whatever task needs to be done and it will get done. I love the challenge, yet always question my ability to meet the goal. I make the least sense when dealing with me. Tomorrow is the day. It's a good job. Better pay, full benefits, plus 401k match. 2 weeks vacation starting and a boss who doesn't want to be my boss, but instead just expects me to perform so he doesn't have to worry about it. My kind of job so far. It's swing shift, that will take some getting used to, but it should be bearable. At least it's not graveyard.

Next at the crossroads is an ending. My good friend WJS graduated from Law School. He's been my best friend (before I met and married my wife of course) since I was a teenager. He was blessed to marry his High School Sweetheart. And he's been struggling through school for many years, while handling marriage and children (2 boys so far). Today, 2 days after his graduation, he is on his way to Texas. This is to be his new home. I must say his graduation has been a bitter sweet event. I will greatly miss my friend and his family. At the same time I'm thrilled for him and his family. I'm certainly glad he could escape the cesspool of Los Angeles. So farewell my friend. Keep fulfilling those dreams.

Today also marked the beginning of a month long visit from my mother-in-law. I'm hoping it turns out to be a blessing of grandmotherly assistance, yet fear it will be a battle of wills between mom and daughter.

So I now move forward through the crossroads into a new world trusting that God knows what he is doing. May God give me the wisdom to raise my daughter up right, the fortitude and guidance to succeed in my new career, and comfort in knowing that WJS and family have moved on to a better place.

Worlds Apart!

2008-05-10T16:10:00.000-07:00

I recently ended a debate I was having with a Mormon. His final response was clear. "Our worldviews are so far apart we will never find common ground." I couldn't argue with him as I agree with him. This debate led me to wonder, why are the things which are so crystal clear to me, so hard for others to see?

Here is a list of a few
-Big government is bad (no we don't need the welfare / warfare dictatorship we have)
-Government doesn't belong in the private sector. (let business and people take care of themselves, they will do a much better job)
-My money belongs to me (God only demands 10%, why should the gov't get more than God?)
-Credit is bad (my grandfather bought 7 houses in cash. Wish I had learned this lesson much earlier in life)
-An armed nation is a safer nation (no, I don't own a gun, bun I'm working on it)
-God is omniscient and in control of everything (he means evil for good and good for good)
-Welfare is bad (hellooooo, since when is stealing from one person to give to another a good idea?)
-Everyone believes in God (they do.)
-Gov't controlled schools are destroying our youth (so we should stop giving them our money)
-the Feminist movement is evil (and no, I don't hate women, I'm married to a very beautiful woman who happens to have spent the first 30 years of her life engulfed in a feminist world)
-a Christian Democrat needs to re-evaluate his faith. (before you scream, I don't like the Republicans either, but at least their political view is slightly closer to their faith which they proclaim)

I could go on for a long time and create a list that would raise all sorts of controversial issues. And then everyone would hate me and never read anything I wrote again. I guess I'm assuming that someone is actually reading this. But that isn't my point. My point is no matter the issue, the response is always the same.

Fictitious Example:
This is what I hear from my perspective.
"Tell me you don't really believe that... the earth is round" and I reply, "Well YES, I do believe... that the earth is round, and I believe it because... I've been around the earth"

Now for what they hear.
"Tell me you don't really believe that... the earth is flat" and I reply, "Well YES, I do believe... the earth is flat, and I believe it because... wah wah wah wah wah wah"

It's always as if I'm bringing some absurd notion to the table and all they can focus on is that I believe this absurd notion. The rest of my argument falls on deaf ears.

I feel like saying, "If you can just step out of your box for a few minutes, we can get past your belief that my view is absurd." Even those who seem open reach a point where there is an impenetrable wall. Usually a wall built by years of self indoctrination via church / media / and other propaganda. It molds their thoughts into notions which, to me, stand outside of common sense and reason. Yet these are notions which I highly doubt they would come to of their own volition.

My 8 year old can figure out that if you walk into a room full of armed men, it is probably a bad idea to try to rob it; or that it is wrong to steal from one person and give it to another person: or that God is either in control or he's not in control:

Ok, not all of my viewpoints an 8 year old can understand, but many of the most hotly debated ones I'm sure he can figure out.

Is there a point to this blather. No, just me being frustrated at those who walk through life with blinders on repeating the nonsensical propaganda that someone has been feeding them all of their life, not really seeing, sensing and learning for themselves, but clinging desperately to their views, taught them by some inspired leader, in spite of all rhyme or reason.

We live in a world which has forgetten the most basic of questions; WHY? Why do you believe it is right to take money from A and give it to B? Why do you believe gov't has a right to my money? Why do you believe the world is round? Why do you believe you have a free will which supercedes the will of God? Why don't you believe in God? Why do you believe in killing babies? Why do you believe that America should be the world Police building other nations in our "perfect image"? Why are your marriage vows so easily discarded?

What about me you say? Fair enough. Why do I believe in God? Why do I value the life of a child who is still in his mothers womb? Why do I believe the world is round? Why do I believe America should return to the Founding Fathers belief of "Alliance with none, commerce with all"? Why do I fear what public schools are doing to our youth?

I have answers to all off my why's, answer formed through life and studious observation, not through brainwashing by media, religion, school, gov't propaganda, or whatever draws people to irrational conclusions.

Ok, vent is over, I feel better. Now dear reader, don't forget to ask yourself Why? Why you believe whatever it is you believe.

Quotes of Thomas Jefferson!!!

2008-05-07T17:16:00.000-07:00

In reading the writings of our nations Founding Fathers, it saddens me to reallize in how little regard our society holds their views. We pay them lip service by celebrating Presidents Day and the Fourth of July and such, then chose to ignore almost all that they believed in. The rights and freedom for which they fought to secure, we throw away. In modern America, their views are considered antiquated. Washinton, Jefferson, Franklin, Hancock, Adams, Revere, Paine, and such. Great men, great leaders of their time. But their way no longer applies to us.

We study the warriors of ancient China, the philosphers of ancient Greece, many of us adhere to Biblical concepts written millennia ago. Yet the political wisdom of 200 years ago is antiquated.

So here is some political wisdom from 200 years ago from the pen of Thomas Jefferson

-Government big enough to supply everything you need is big enough to take everything you have ... The course of history shows that as a government grows, liberty decreases.

-I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.

-We must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt.

-The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.

-There is nothing more unequal, than the equal treatment of unequal people

-Democracy is 51% of the people taking away the rights of the other 49%

-If people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny.

-The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive.

-I have seen enough of one war never to wish to see another

-That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves

-Every citizen should be a soldier. This was the case with the Greeks and Romans, and must be that of every free state.

-We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate

-Never spend your money before you have it.

-I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.

-I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around [the banks] will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs.

We all should spend more time reading the writings of the men who Founded this nation, and then practice applying their wisdom to our world. If we don't, we will continue down the road of less freedom, less property and less rights.

Who said it?

2008-05-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

"Why of course the people don't want war. Why should some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece? Naturally, the common people don't want war, neither in Russia, nor in England, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it's a democracy, or a facist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."

Can this quote be applied to todays war? I'll let you decide. But who am I quoting dear reader? None other than convicted Nazi war criminal Hermann Goering at his trial at Nuremberg.

The Lord Provides

2008-05-04T23:30:00.000-07:00

I've been unemployed since Feb 12th. At first I was worried. My wife being pregnant, and knowing how tight our finances were up to my lay-off, I thought we would be sinking fast.

But somehow my finances have been more abundant than when I was working. My pregnant wife has been taken care of and very shortly will be giving birth to our daughter. My family has been completely provided for no thanks to me. I did hesitate in tithing during this time, but only momentarily. If God provides for me in times of plenty, I should trust him to provide in times of need, and he has. Glad I had the faith to continue to tithe.

March 12th marks 3 months of unemployment. It also marks the first day of my new job. My new employer is giving me everything I asked for. The pay I asked for, the shift I asked for, the benefits I wanted and time off to have my baby should I need it.

Amazing is all I can say!

The Lord Provides

I'M STILL ALIVE

2008-04-16T23:27:00.000-07:00

DB has been bugging me lately about my lack of life in the Blogosphere. I guess life has just been keeping me too busy to vent here. So what is new in my life? Good question. So for anyone who might still someday read my Blog (and the list at this point must be small), here is an update.

Feb 12th I was laid off. Apparently self-motivated thinkers who stand up for the safety and well being of the peons on the floor in opposition to Plant Managers don't get to keep their jobs. On a brighter note, I have news from many sources that everything I held together is falling apart in my absense. I've actually been asked to come back as a consultant. But my position wasn't necessary. Ce La Vie.

The job hunt has been interesting. So far I managed to enter a lot of interesting doors, but apparently I'm just under par. I certainly must thank the Plant Managers, CFO's, Maintenance Managers, and VP's who allow me to use them as references.

When I first became unemployed I worried because Patty is pregnant. 2 months later with Jahaira due any day, I'm actually happy to be unemployed. I have been able to lighten the workload around the home for my wife during her hardest months of pregnancy. I will be wholey available when the little brat finally arrives to take care of my boys while my wife takes care of our girl. It's kinda exciting.

I will admit I'm a bit stir crazy. I'm not used to unemployment. Most days I feel like a sluggard. Staring at a computer for hours pounding out resumes and applications is draining. Can I just get back to work already.

So pray for my wife and soon to be daughter. Hopefully they both come through this ok. Pray that the right employer will find value in this Irishman and hire me.

What else is new? Oh yes, my long time friend BS is about to graduate from Loyola Marymount Law School. And than he is leaving for TX. It will be a bitter sweet moment. My friend is at the end of a very long journey. And then he begins a new journey half a nation away. I will miss him and his family. Of course he's trying to convince me to join him in his treck to the great country of Texas. Tempting but I don't think I'll be getting out of LA for a few more years.

You know, all the reasons I returned to LA seem to be leaving or have already left. I know it's time for me to plan my own exit. It's just a matter of how. HMMM...

Caleb turned 1 Feb 5th. For Easter he decided it was time to walk. He is certainly one of the perks of unemployment. I've gotten to see many of his first which I would have missed had I been at work. Now he stumbles around the living room trying to keep his balance. He is the Tazmanian Devils 1st cousin. This kid destroys everything. Today he had our livingroom covered in shredded styrofoam. If anyone has some old books they don't need, Caleb would love to destroy them for you.

For those of you still awake, I'll let ya know when my daughter joins the world.

goodnight

I wake up in the morning and I raise my weary head

2007-11-17T08:44:00.000-08:00

I don't think there has ever been a time in my life where I could remember my dreams. I've never woken up terrified because of nightmares. In fact the only time my dreams wake me up are when my body try's to react to my dream as if I'm really there.

I really enjoy listening to other peoples dreams. It give me a glimpse of something that I may never experience myself (remembered dreams).

The last week I think I know what I've been dreaming though. Every morning for about 2 weeks I wake up and my mind is racing with solutions and scenarios of my work. I'm laying in bed in my groggy, waiting for the next snooze alarm state, trying to get those last precious moments of rest before my day begins and my mind is going full speed into my job. The only explanation I can come up with is I must be dreaming about work. I want to scream, "it's too early to be thinking about this". "Leave me alone, five more minutes!"

The worst part is it doesn't stop. I get up and go through my morning routine with my mind still racing. I jump in my car for my half hour drive to work (time I normally take to blissfully enjoy the radio) and my mind is still racing. I get halfway to work before I reallize I haven't even turned on the radio.

Even today, Saturday morning, I woke up thinking about air compressors, rebuilding production lines and safety hazards. Well, I'm off to go look for a distraction so I can think about something besides work.

IRS VS GOLD

2007-11-07T21:05:00.000-08:00

People have been trying to beat the tax man since taxes were invented. Al Capone couldn't be convicted for the majority of his crimes but tax evasion got him. Here is a method I bet none of you have ever heard of.

In 1985 Ron Paul was the frontrunner congressman in passing the Gold Bullion Coin Act. This laws states that the US Govt is required to print and place in circulation Gold Coins in denominations of $50, $25, $10, and $5 dollars to meet demand. These coins are made of 91.67% Gold.

In the mid 90's a small businessman decided to compensate his employees using this alternate currency. The method of this madness is thus:
I'll pay you $50 a week with a gold coin with a face value of $50. This equates to an annual income of $2600. This is less than reportable income by IRS Code. However this US Govt minted "$50" coin is really worth $800. Which means if you converted the value of the Gold Coins currency to Federal Reserve Notes (dollars) you just made ~$42,000.

So, "If a coin says it is a $50 gold piece, and it says 'In God We Trust', and the law says that it is legal tender, and it is in circulation, isn't it reasonable for people to think that they can calculate their tax liability based on that?"

So go tell your boss that you want to get paid $100 a week in US Minted Gold currency!

SAFETY

2007-10-21T07:23:00.000-07:00

I was approached by my Plant Manager not long ago on a Saturday. "Sean, I was in a meeting the other day and your name popped into my head." -Well Don, usually that means you have more work for me, so what's up? "Well, with Eugenia leaving we need someone to lead safety and I think you'd be perfect for the job. Nobody here understands safety at the floor level better than you." -Oh, because I have so much free time already, Don.

Thus began my latest adventure in life. So Don talked to my boss Sal, and his boss, the VP Bill. Monday morning Bill calls me to his office. We had a good long talk and in the end I said simply, no problem on one condition. You, Don, Sal and myself sit down and discuss our (meaning Sal and I) salaries, because if I'm taking on this extra responsibility so is he. "Sean, are you telling me you won't take this position if we don't have this talk?" -Yes Bill, that is exactly what I'm saying. "Agreed!"

So, Wednesday of that week I was officially made Safety Director. Bill was nice enough to assure me that I'm not in this alone. So why do I feel like I'm moving a mountain of rocks alone and at any moment the whole mountain could come tumbling down on top of me? The very next day Line 1 caught on fire. Destroyed property, evacuated the building, found faulty fire extinguishers, learned we have no fire team, no fire training, no breathing devices and no MSDS sheets for a product we've been making a year. Did I mention all the Corporate Guru's from New York happened to be in the building.

So, my second day as Safety Director I find myself in a Safety Response Review meeting for a fire we just had with Don (plant manager), Bill and all of their bosses. We created a list... THINGS THAT WENT RIGHT and THINGS THAT WENT WRONG. One column we were able to list 2 items. The other column we were able to list 16 items. Who wants to guess which column was which?

I spent the rest of the week dealing with the aftermath. Fire Marshalls, Health Inspectors, Alarm Companies, Fire extinguisher companies, Sprinkler companies, not to mention the damaged line, which is for a very specific customer who tells us he will start running short of product in 10 days. We are his only supplier.

So the next week (last week) I sign myself up for a three day OSHA training course. Come to find out it is actually a 12 day course, so I still have 8 days to go. By day 2 of the course I am already overwhelmed. It amazes me how far out of compliance we are. The training ended on Thursday and I've had safety nightmares every night since then. It as if my mind wants to work through the mountain I have to move when I'm sleeping. I end up waking up numerous times throughout the night.

Tomorrow is my first day back to work since the training. I think I need a good sit down talk with Don about what he expects and what I expect. Than I need to figure out how to start tearing down the mountain. And I still need to have that talk about salaries. No way I'm keeping this beast at my current pay.

COUNTING THE DAYS!

2007-09-30T09:28:00.000-07:00

My wife is visiting NYC for three weeks, which means I'm a bachelor for the moment. Having been a bachelor for many years in a previous life, you would think that would be no problem. Not so. I come home from work and find myself bombarded with silence. No wife to talk to , no son asking questions, no baby crying, nothing but silence. So I sit and wonder what to do with myself. Nothing catches my interest. I try to read but can't get into it. I don't play computer games anymore. I turn on the TV, but there is nothing catching.

In this time of loneliness it has become glaringly obvious that my family IS the center of my world. Without them I'm just an astronaut floating in space drifting farther and farther from anything that means anything to him. And the two shall become one. The longer I'm married the more meaning that has for me. The "independent nomad" I once was, is now a dependant, pseudo grounded family man. My family is no longer a futuristic want, but a current need. Life without them is not even fathomable anymore. This temporary separation is a vivid reminder of how much I enjoy my family. How much a part of me they have become.

I don't think Patty is fairing much better. She's already counting the days till she comes home. I think she is going to need a vacation from her vacation.

Back to silence I go.

IN CUBA, WE KILL GUYS LIKE YOU!!!

2007-09-02T07:45:00.000-07:00

When you are in management you see all sorts of things you wouldn't expect. It's a backstage pass to the theatre where you get to see what the audience can't see. The most recent incident still has me stunned.

When you work in the Manufacturing industry, safety is a huge concern. Large machines with lots of torque; slippery surfaces; compressed air, hydraulics, and electricity everywhere. There are lots of places one can hurt oneself. There are lots of people who out of ignorance can be hurt by the carelessness of those who know.

KM (my engineer) walked by an exposed 440 volt electric panel on his way to lunch. Nobody around but the guy cleaning the floor. HMMM.. water and electricity, good mix. After an short investigation we quickly discovered who was responsible for leaving the panel open. We called a meeting of all of our electricians and ran through the importance of electrical safety. AP, the electrician responsible, was given a verbal warning (nothing official) and his response was, "But I waited till nobody was around." Nobody but the guy with the bucket of soapy water washing the floor.

AP felt singled out and "knew" that another electrician had "snitched" to KM. He walked up to the other electrician and flattly said "In Cuba, we kill guys like you!" and walked away.

Up to this point AP had conveyed nothing but a friendly attittude to everyone. I think I'm stunned more by who said it, than by what was said. It's a reminder that the unassuming nice guys aren't always nice. Place Mr. Nice Guy in a defensive posture and the fangs will come out.

AP went on vacation before we were made aware of his comment. When he gets back we'll have to deal with him. I wonder if his hostility will be redirected at us, or burn more fiercly towards the "snitch" who told on him. I wonder what an old Cuban (he's in his 50's) could devise against someone. Will his anger grow to a point of action?

I guess I"ll find out.

THE FUN NEVER ENDS

2007-08-01T20:31:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to blab here since the 4th of July. So much has happened since then.

the fourth was great. Caleb was enthralled by the lights. I thought the loud explosions might bother him but he didn't care. It a joy to just watch him take in life experiences for the first time.

Theresa (my stepmother of over 2 decades) died Friday 13. The battle over the estate seemed to begin before the body was cold. I'm amazed the cops were never called, oh wait, they were called. At one point we had all but one sibling in agreement. Not sure where we stand now, but me, being the "trustworthy responsible one" who happens to still live in LA seems to be bearing all the load of moving forward. An executor needs to be named, an eviction of the current tenent needs to be filed, and than there is probate. I'm not going to give ya'll gory details, but I advize all of you to have a will. Otherwise your children will get to see the worste in each other. Nothing brings out the vulture in man/woman like an fresh estate battle.

This of course happened right in the middle of Angelica's (Patty's neice) visit. She had a good time anyway. We took her to the Sequoias and spent alot of time swimming and doing outdoorsy stuff.

I had really intended to give much more detail. I'm just so tired of it all. It's been a long month. But to any of you nosy people who just have to know, feel free to call me. If you don't have my number, than I probably wouldn't tell you anyway.

Colonial Declaration of Independance day

2007-07-06T21:06:00.000-07:00

How do you keep a 5 month olds attention. Sit two-hundred yards from a city sponsored fireworks show. Caleb was mesmorized by the sounds and colors. I thought it might scare him but he was in awe.

I had a good fourth of July. Day off work, barbeque and fireworks show. Threw the ball around with Darrien, got in some reading and ended with bright explosive pyrotechnics. Even got paid that day. Can't complain.

hope ya'll enjoyed your yearly celebration of the signing of the Declaration of Independance.

mindless bla......

2007-07-02T21:14:00.000-07:00

What to right (my wife wants me to correct this... I think I'll leave it this way just to bug her).. oh the dilema... I have this 20lb chubby entity on my lap who seems thoroughly enthralled by the letters on the screen. If only they were always this easy to entertain.

My house is finally empty. Just in time for the heat of summer. Oh for air conditioning.

Caleb is growing fast. We have to get him a mattress for his bed before he grows out of his bassinet. My wife has a fit every time I mention putting him in another room (she just read this and is wining about it... NNNOOOOOOO). Must be a mommy thing.

Work is chaotic as ever. My boss wants to make me his assistant so he can move on to other things (he wants me to take over his job). I hope that involves a raise. We keep redifining our roles. I think the upper eschalones of my corporation are completely baffled by us. Keeps my life busy. I worked 20 straight hours last week and then woke up three hours later for another 10. My peoples all think I'm crazy.

I'd love to keep rambling about nothing but Caleb seems to think my fingers belong in his hands or his mouth and it's really difficult to type anything, yet alone construct a cohesive thought.

BTW, welcome to SUMMER....

Kaizen

2007-05-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

My company is instituting "Lean" training. So for the past week I have been involved in an 8 hour a day class. Joining me in this mandatory training has been Sal (my boss), Richard (my lead electrician), and Juan (one of my lead mechanics). Who has been running maintenance, you might ask? No one!

We've all snuck off to work at every opportunity, but it was too little. We had 4 major break downs this week, that I had to manage while in this training. I ended up working three 13 hour days and a 12 hour day. I think my mechanics were in shock to see me on the floor in coveralls working beside them. We had to fix the problem. The training is a good training for the company as a whole, but it made for a very rough work week.

Oh, and did I forget to mention that my brothers wife and kids have landed back at my house again.

So the weekend is finally here and I'm exhausted. On a brighter note, I enjoyed a really nice evening of coffee and cigarrettes with a good friend last night. It was good to vent and relax and just do nothing.

Off to breakfast with the familia.

I SEE DEAD PEOPLE, THEY ARE EVERYWHERE, THEY DON'T KNOW THEY ARE DEAD

2007-04-28T21:04:00.000-07:00

Friday night is guys night. Yesterday me and the boys were sitting in the yard smoking pipes (tabbaco), and tapping the mini-keg as we conversed about everything under the sun. I left that conversation with a keen awareness of where I came from spiritually and where many people I know still are. In short, I was spiritually dead and now I'm spiritually alive.

Why did this leave such an impression on me? I've know this simple truth for years. Well, I've been evangalizing for years. I've never had much success (as far as I know). In 10 years I've managed to get two people to go to church with me (one of them is my wife). I've always thought it was my failure to be theoligically astute and my lack of persuasive skills, which kept friends and family from accepting my invite. But I'm wrong.

The real answer is that the world is filled with the spiritually dead. Nothing I say or do will change them. Only God can change them. The dead can't hear when I speak. They don't even know they are dead. How can the dead be aware of anything. It is only when God gives them back life that they become aware of their former state of death.

So why continue speaking to the spirtually dead who can't hear me? Because God commands it, and it is him who will give them life through my words if he so choses. So, my apparent failure isn't a failure at all. It is simply me doing as God commands, and trusting that he will work through me to accomplish his Good Will.

"I see Dead People, they are everywhere, they don't know they are Dead" Ok, it's a cheesy movie quote, but when applied to the gospel it is a daunting view of the reality of the world in which we live.

Two Years

2007-04-22T20:44:00.000-07:00

Today marks two years of marriage for me. My beautiful wife and I spent an evening at Benihana's in Santa Monica and then enjoyed the brisk air on the 3rd Street Promenade.

I asked my wife what the best part of our marriage has been. "Having someone to rely on" was her very quick response. This, from a woman who grew up in the hub of feminism (NYC), was a most welcome and comforting response. It also re-inforced the notion that I am the head of my household and my whole family depends on me. It makes me feel good knowing that my wife feels she can depend on me (even if she has a funny way of showing at times).

The heavy task of leading a household is one that men continue to fail at. Lord willing I will continue for many years to come to hear the resounding voice of my wife saying, "Because I can rely on you."

So to my Beloved Wife of TWO years I say, I LOVE YOU and am ever grateful that you are in my life. Thank you for the all you give me.

How long can the media ignore him?

2007-03-28T21:11:00.000-07:00

Ron Paul is in the running, but I bet most of you outside of my comments have never heard of him. You see stories in the news about all the Presidential Candidates and even hopefulls, but for some reason Dr. Paul is "overlooked". Here are some links to a few gentlemen who think they know why the media (and all lobbyist) stear clear of Ron Paul.

http://www.lewrockwell.com/woods/woods63.html

http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig5/galles6.html

or you can click on my link to Ron Paul's archives and read his speaches to congress and articles on life and then decide for yourself.

SPEAKING THE LANGUAGE OF UNITY

2007-03-13T07:28:00.000-07:00

By Paul Viggiano

When God set out to confound men's efforts at building their own tower to heaven, he simply confused the language so they couldn't understand one another's speech. Apparently the easiest way to scatter and disassemble a people is to make communication difficult.

When Alexander the Great sought to unify his entire conquered territory, which spanned nine time zones, he made Greek the only allowable commercial language. People could speak their native languages in their own communities, but if they were going to do business, they had to learn Greek.

Healthy and unified nations have a specific language, and there are good reasons for it.
Perhaps you've encountered a language difficulty while placing an order at your local drive-through. It's an inconvenient, moderately laborious and ineffective process when the two people don't speak the same language. No big deal. You end up with the chicken instead of beef -- who can tell the difference?

But what if you're on the phone seeking information on bills you owe or work that needs to be done on your car or house? Business becomes tricky when you can't understand each other. Still, it might be considered a minor inconvenience. Eventually things get done.

It's a little more perilous when you come upon an automobile accident. When someone says, "Call an ambulance!" and all you get are blank stares, with no opportunity to press two for the alternative language, the victim might bleed to death.

And how about the military -- assuming people are living in a country they love and are willing to defend. What happens when lives are on the line and orders are given in the nation's language? Are we comfortable with the idea of people dying because no one understands the commanding officer?

It should be obvious that we need to pick a language and have everybody learn it. It will strengthen our nation. People are xenophobic by nature. We tend to fear what we don't understand. A healthy conversation where we all understand what's being said will foster an esprit de corps among the people.

Those who oppose a unified language are either ignorant of what unifies a nation or they simply don't care about unity -- maybe they're only concern is to build a constituency. Either way, having multiple languages when it comes to commerce, health, safety and national security is divisive and dangerous.

And I don't oppose the glorious American melting pot. I view myself as a spicy Mediterranean addition. The multiculturalism of our country is splendid and exciting. All the foods, styles, music and diversity make our country electrifying. But it is a melting pot, not a rotating Lazy Susan where all the individual bowls form segregated courses having no common point of contact with each other.

The melting pot as originally suggested by Pierre Eugene DuSimitière is e pluribus unum -- out of the many, one. For this to work, there are things that need to contribute to the unum. And one of the non-negotiables of the unum is the language. Our current trend is heading us toward e pluribus pluribus. We're celebrating the many, but we're losing the one -- one flag, one language and one indivisible nation under one God.

There are things unique about the United States that have always attracted people from other countries. It might be a worthwhile pursuit to understand what specific and unique attributes helped to make this country great and cling to them.

The Rev. Paul Viggiano is pastor of the Branch of Hope Orthodox Presbyterian Church in Torrance. His e-mail address is pastorpaul@integrity.com.

And the Cat's in the Cradle and the Silver Spoon

2007-03-10T21:13:00.000-08:00

I'm sure ya'll are familiar with the song. It's theme has been ringing in the ears of this Dad lately. I was raised very differently from my father, yet lately I see how much like him I have grown to be. I love my father, but I pray constantly that I can be a better father than he was. I pray I can change the trends in myself I see which are a reflection of him. Makes my Dad sound like this horrible father. I guess he was a horrible father. Not that he was abusive per say, just neglectful. Even he recognizes his failings and has been trying hard the past few years to make up for it.

I don't want my children to end up like me. I want what every father wants.. I want my kid's to grow up to be better men than I ever could be. I want them to succeed where I have failed. When they reach the crossroads of their lives I want them to choose the paths I didn't choose. I want to prepare them for the world nobody prepared me for.

Looking at Caleb today, I kept saying in my head, "Please don't end up like me, son". As Patty likes to point out to me, Darrien is already mimicking me. The way I talk, walk, my mannerism, my "witty" responses. I see it too and maybe that is what is bothering me. As I'm saying "Darrien, that's not how you respond" or "Don't do that" I know I'm hearing and seeing myself through him.

I have little doubt that my children will turn out better than me. I have given (and continue to give them) a better environment that I could have dreamed of as a child. But I also know what God says. "And I will visit the iniquities of the father to the children of the third and fourth generation." Which of my iniquities shall be passed on to my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

I'm so dramatic sometimes (Patty always tells me so). Part of what brought this particular bought of dramatascim on is just my current life. This month has been a rollercoaster of neverending stress. So just a few prayer requests.
-My newborn (I love him dearly but boy can he sap the life out of you)
-My Mother, who's delusions have left her temporarily homeless (currently she's living on my sofa)
-My wife who on top of dealing with new mommyhood and post partum depression is dealing with my Mom.
-My job which seems to be both a great blessing and great curse all at once.

My wife and I had a moment alone together (rare these days) and she says, "Sean, you look stressed out!"

"Well my Dear," I reply,"I average 12 hour days at work, my 7 year old is jealous of his very dependent brother, his very dependent brother is very dependent, my wife is exhausted and depressed, my crazy mother is sleeping on my sofa and I haven't been laid in at least a month. I've had better times." Of course she just laughed hysterically.

Well, enough ranting. I need to get back to my mother, my wife and my two kids.

IT'S A BOY!!!!!!

2007-02-05T16:53:00.000-08:00

OK! Most of you already knew that, but what you didn't know is that CALEB ALESSANDRO O'BRIEN was born this morning at 8am after 28 very long hours of labor. The last 8 were the hardest.

He wieghs in at 7lbs 2.5oz and a length of 19 inches. Not bad considering he was 1 to 4 weeks early (the doctors are confused on that issue).

Complications during delivery caused his whole face to be bruised. So I have a very pink baby with a very black and blue face. Swollen too, poor kid. He has my wife's nose and my monkey toes.

So instead of going to church and then to a friends pool to enjoy the nice warm beautiful winter day we had, I spent the day reading to my wife, watching the super bowl and waiting for the hard labor to start. The kid has great timing. Once it started.. all I can say is I'm glad God made me a male. Just being the supportive husband all night wore me out. My wife's pain and misery was readilly apparant all night. Luckily she is already suffering the post-partum amnesia that is so common among women.

Ehud, thanks for the early congrats. Gotta go. Have a wife and kid who are in need of some attention at the hospital.

President Who?

2007-01-20T00:44:00.000-08:00

For the first time in my voting life I am excited about a prospective Presidential Candidate. Who is he? None other than Mr. Ron Paul (congressman extraordinaire). You will find a link to his LEWROCKWELL.COM archives (where he posts his congressional speeches as well as his articles) to the right of the current text. My friend, Dan, believes the rest of the Republican Party is going to try to squash him, because he is actually a conservative (what a novel idea for a Republican). So spread the word. There is a REAL CONSERVATIVE actually running for president. The more people we tell, the less his campaign manager has to raise to pay for advertising. The internet is free (almost).

AIRWOLF

2007-01-20T00:40:00.000-08:00

My son has been walking around the house humming the theme to "AIRWOLF". :-) See, through Netflix, I am able to rent entire seasons of TV shows, and I am methodically introducing him to all the essential classics. So the next time you see Darrien, shake the hand of the worlds newest Airwolf fan.

Thomas Jefferson and the Koran

2007-01-20T00:30:00.000-08:00

A big deal was made out of the fact that a Koran owned by Thomas Jefferson was used to swear in a Muslim Official. We have been led to believe that TJ would have approved this useage. The truth of why good old Mr Jefferson had a Koran in his library is far from what we have been led to believe.

http://www.usvetdsp.com/jan07/jeff_quran.htm

How you like them apples?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

2007-01-15T18:56:00.000-08:00

It's a new year. And since last year was so rough (the last year of my 20's.. snff), I'll not reminisce, instead I'm looking forward to the New Year. Things I have to look forward to:

- A baby boy on the way, so diaper changing, sleepless nights, baby drool, lots of crying, ect, ect, ect. (oh I can't forget the wife in labor trying to beat me over the head with a bedpan)
- hopefully a raise at my job
- beginning to get out of debt ..... I have a plan.. it will work.. I have faith..
- A new clunker car to replace my old clunker car (hopefully).
- my 2 year anniversary

not a complete list, but it's a good start.

well, I'm off to live my hopes and dreams with my family, or maybe just vegetate on the sofa and watch 24...

THE MAN IN THE MIRROR

2006-12-11T22:09:00.000-08:00

"If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change."
-Michael Jackson

Before I married my wife, we attended premarital counseling with our pastor. Something he told us has been forefront in my thoughts lately. My wife and I have been bickering and fighting over petty stuff lately. Most of the time I'm thinking, "why are we fighting about this?" In the midst of one of our disputes I heard my pastor's words ringing in my head. "Marriage isn't a 50 /50 proposition. It's a 100 / 100 proposition." In other words, you don't say, I'll meet you half way, because you always think you are the one giving 51% while your spouse is the one giving 49%. You have to have the mind-set that I'm going to give my spouse 100% all the time. We haven't been doing that. We instead are pointing fingers saying "I'm giving my 51%!". The truth is neither of us is giving our 51% or even our 49%. I dare not say what I think the percentage might actually be.

I need to look at the 'Man in the Mirror" and make my world a better place. I need to give my family my 100% (or as close as humanly possible) and hope and pray they follow suit in giving their 100%. I'm the head of my house and I'm supposed to lead. There is no better way to lead than by example.

So what am I waiting for? Hmmmmm... Selfishness I guess. I never knew how selfish I was until I got married.

I used to always tell people, "If you want to see yourself, don't look inward but for the reflection in the people who surround you, for in that reflection we see ourselves." That proverbial mirror is scary to look at, but I think I'm looking at it. Now the question is, am I going to "make a change"?

Some may say, "if you TRULY love your family, you will make a change." As if somehow my failures as a husband and father lessen my love. If love was all it took, I'd have this game won. It just seems that at times my selfishness overwhelms my love. I've been with Patty for almost 4 years and I still can't lose my bachelor mentality.

Well, Lord willing, I will change the man in the mirror and my family will prosper because of it.

They are all SWINDLERS

2006-12-05T20:09:00.000-08:00

My baby (My Mustang) was impounded last Saturday. I was unable to get to the towing yard until Monday evening. By this time the fees were at $300. I don't know about you, but I don't have $300 laying around. I told them I wouldn't get paid till Friday. They told me by then the fees would be up to $500. I tried to get them to negotiate to release my car with a partial payment today, and a final payment on Friday. Of course they wouldn't even consider it.

So I buried my pride and asked a friend if I could borrow the money. So today I showed up with $330 borrowed dollars (they told me there would be a $30/day storage charge). They tell me the total is $390. WHAT???? $390??? Where did the extra $60 bucks come from? "Well sir, we are required by law to charge you a $60 licencse fee?" And you couldn't have told me this yesterday when I was here inquiring as too how much it would cost. "You didn't ask!"

I was angry by this point. They had shown me nothing but disrespect from the moment I arrived the day prior and now they wanted even more money on top of that. Well, after much debate and much chastising of their bad business practices, they agreed to accept the $370 I had (I had a little of my own money).

While they did their paperwork behind their safety glass (wonder why such a wonderful establishment would need safety glass?) I could here such wonderful under their breath comments like "I'll help you out as soon as I'm done with this A#@HOLE!".

They give me the release form and after reading I decide to follow the advice of the disclaimer at the bottom and asked to see my car and verify it isn't damaged before I signed the release. Exasperation and snide comments flowed like water as they reluctantly had one of their drivers escort me to my car so I could inspect it.

What do I find but my drivers side wheel turned almost 90 degrees out while my passenger side wheel is straight. "How am I supposed to drive my car out of here when ya'll have broken my steering rod?" So they take me to the driver who towed my car and he swears he found it that way. They even have a document signed by a police officer that says she verifies it was found that way. Yet they wouldn't let me have a copy of this document or even let me know the officers name.

I find it extremely hard to believe that a 3/4" steel rod mysteriously snapped all by itself. Especially since my Dad just drove it down from Fresno (about 250 miles) and I have driven it a few times since then and neither of us noticed any indication of a steering problem. But THEY FOUND IT THAT WAY!

I give credit to the driver who delivered my car to my home. He went out of his way to help me steer the broken wheel and park my car. As for the rest of the establishment, I wouldn't feel too bad if someone accidently torched the place.

Well, I'm off to find a way to vent off some of my anger and frustration. Hopefully I don't break anything vital.

Corporate vs Private

2006-11-29T21:13:00.000-08:00

I found out today that I will have to end a business relationship I've developed with a private entrepreneur. Corporate restructuring is forcing my hand. I understand completely from the Corporate standpoint why the decision was made. It doesn't make it easier knowing that in the near future I will have to inform this small business owner that we can no longer use his services. We are one of his biggest clients. How will this loss affect his business which he works so hard to run?

Maybe I'm worried about my own loss. He is my most reliable vendor. His company jumps through hoops for me. I'm reluctant to loose such an asset. I'm reluctant to pull the rug out from under a man and an organization which has worked so hard on my behalf.

Not that I have a choice in the matter. The decision has been made. This time, I'm not the decision maker, but simple the messenger of bad news.

From a Corporate viewpoint, this is the best move we can make. I know this. I agree with this. Business is business, I guess.

THANKSGIVING

2006-11-28T13:20:00.000-08:00

For the first time in my life I have shared Thanksgiving Dinner with both of my parents. It was rather strange to say the least. In fact the only occasion I can recall ever spending time with both of my parents (not counting custody battles) was at my wedding.

It was a good Thanksgiving though. My mother seemed out of place at times (I don't think she is accustomed to hanging around non-mormons). A little boring at times. For some reason the usual jovialness seemed to be lacking.

Maybe it's cuz I was too mentally preoccupied to really engage the occasion. Anyhow, I enjoyed the break from life.

Now back to reality.

Headline News (unless you live in America)

2006-11-12T15:16:00.000-08:00

I ran accross this article online. It's aphalling and grotesque and apparently completely overlooked by US News Media, who never fail to catch a US soldier in a compromising situation.

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,20726085-2703,00.html

Apparently the brutal beheading of three young Christian girls is less newsworthy than Abu Grabi and congressman Foley.

What would you eat for 2.7 Million Dollars?

2006-11-12T14:29:00.000-08:00

An LA fireman was recently awarded 2.7 Million Dollars in a settlement. What horrible crime was committed against him that warrented such a large settlement. His fellow fire fighteres as a prank, put dog food in his spaghetti sauce. He ate two whole bites of it before his fellow fire fighter (who were of course laughing) let him in on the joke.

But why did we give him millions of dollars? Well apparently, according to his lawyers, this was a humiliating event racially based (he was black of course) to imply he was a slave dog.

If you aren't shaking your head yet, it gets better. Apparently this 22 year veteran was well know as a prankster himself. This very large man was also know for calling himself "BIG DOG" and for screaming out sayings like "feed the Big Dog" at LAFD volleyball games.

But since he is black and his pranksters are white and hispanic, their prank was obviously race based and deserving of 2.7 million dollars.

Now lets just assume for two seconds that this prank had anything to do with racial degredation. Even if that were true (which I think the fact show it to be completely false) why do the taxpayers of LA have to fork over 2.7 Mil? Why do we have to pay anything? Why am I and my fellow taxpayers responsible for the individual action of a few men? IF they are truly guilty of some crime, should not any retribution be made by the offending parties. Would that not be just. But why does all of LA County have to pay because someone was offended at a joke?

How many more cops or firefighters could we put on the streets for 2.7 Mil? How many roads could we fix? How many streets could we light?

I think this man a total disgrace to the spirit of firefighters (to help those in need). He instead has chosen to rob LA's citizen of their hard earned money, because someone played a prank on Mr Prankster and it offended him.

Only one city council member spoke out saying how ridiculous this settlement was. He was apparently laughed off the stage while they signed away my hard earned money.

So, what would you eat for 2.7 Million Dollars?