I’ve been working really hard this year on getting out of California. But all my efforts have produced zero fruit. This week I think I resigned myself to the fact that God isn’t ready for me to leave LA just yet. Patty and I are making plans to better use the space we have in the mean time. It just doesn’t seem financially sound to move somewhere else in LA.
So how much longer will I be a Californian? Only God knows.
A lot has happened this year. This seems to be the year of illness and injury for my family. A whole winter with a sinus infection, Dental problems for both me and my wife, Darrien breaks his arm, Caleb ~ well Caleb is just a walking bruise. And of course the most imminent, my eldest sister is dying of Cancer. I think this is part of the reason God is keeping me here. I’m the only sibling close enough to help.
Most of the time we don’t think about our mortality. But watching my sister slowly and painfully die of cancer has certainly revived my sense of how fragile we are. I would not have believed the carnage cancer can produce had I not seen it first hand. At a recent gathering my Father said “No one deserves to die like that!” I’ve since thought about that statement. How do we ‘deserve’ to die?
This is quite the theological question. The answer is quite simple. We ‘deserve’ eternal death and hell. We deserve a torment far worse than cancer. We deserve the full wrath of God himself for eternity. Fire and brimstone, gnashing of teeth, everlasting torment and misery. We are all “Prone to Wander from God”. We have all sinned and rejected God. We all stand with the Apostle Paul in saying “O Wretched man that I am, who will save me from this body of death”.
By the grace of God we don’t have to suffer that fate. My sister is not Christian. I pray that God sustains her in this world long enough to save her soul. Because if he doesn’t this little bout with cancer will be a walk in the park compared to the wrath of God.
I have shared the gospel with her. I have tried to be a good Christian example (and I did a damned poor job of it). I have prayed. I know now that she is in God’s hands. His will be done. I just pray His will is to bestow His saving grace on a sinner (my sister).
As for me, I know God can take me any time. This could be my last hour on earth. I thank God for the knowledge of the gospel and for blessing me with the gracious gift of Faith In his only begotten Son. I pray that when God decides it is my time to face death, he does so quickly. I don’t have the pretense that I don’t ‘deserve’ a disease like cancer. I just hope God is merciful and takes me quickly.
“May the Grace of our Lord be with you, now and always may you stay blameless till He comes”
For it is by Grace we are saved through Faith in Jesus Christ our Lord, not of our own doing. We contribute nothing to our salvation, lest we boast, but all Glory to God who shows Mercy to his chosen.
