Richard Call Low one last time caused me to reflect on life and knowledge

This week the death of a mentor reminded me of how short life is. His name to me was always Mr Low. To his wife he was Richard. To his children he was Dad. His death had me thinking about knowledge. What we know, how we know it. Mr Low was committed to knowledge. As his daughter put it, “Mountain climbers when asked why they climb mountains, often say ‘because it is there ‘. My father’s mountain was knowledge”.


The Bible says “The beginning of all wisdom is the fear of God”. It also says “The wisdom of God is foolishness to men”. When I sit and look at my own life, my own search for knowledge and wisdom, the list of sources of my knowledge are vast. Everything from, personal experience to history. This is my personal summary of where my knowledge comes from.

For the first 16 years of life my knowledge was almost entirely personal experience. Public school never taught me much. Just provided me a place to be other than home. But being the second youngest in a family of 7 kids led to many life experiences before I may have been ready for them. Through watching my siblings, my parents (all four of them) and my grandparents I was able to learn much about life. I call my childhood the Soap Opera. It was. But all this knowledge was in a vacuum, because even though I was raised Mormon, and sometimes Catholic, Christian, Jewish and Pagan, I really only knew God and God’s wisdom through the eyes of other men. I had yet to truly learn directly from God.

I was 14 or 15 when my sister bought me a series called “The book of Swords, by Fred Saberhagen”. This was the beginning of my journey to self-education. Reading quickly became a passion of mine. And when I have time it still is.

I was 16 when I first started to study the Scriptures on my own. I was passionate in my studies of God for the next four years. I grew to believe wholeheartedly in the Mormon faith. Mr Low was my sounding board. He dedicated countless hours of his life to me and the wisdom he shared and guidance he gave me continue with me to this day. Not only did I learn to think Scripturally, I learned service as I watched him care for his wife, who had suffered a stroke and was completely dependent on him. I think only now at his death do I realize the impact he had on my life.

If nothing else I gained a healthy fear of God in this time. In Mormonism the expectation is that a young man will go on a 2 year mission at the age of 19 or 20. I was determined to be prepared for this. About the time I was ready to serve my mission I was struck with doubt of the truth of Mormonism. Even with the aid of Mr Low I was unable to resolve my doubt. I could not in good conscience serve a mission preaching a ‘truth’ that I myself was not convinced of.

On a whim I ended up in the Navy instead. I was to experience learning on a whole new level. As a Navy Nuc I was submitted to a grueling 2 year training program which tested my knowledge, patience, endurance and ability to absorb vast quantities of highly technical information in a very short period of time. As someone who always has suffered self-esteem issues, this was a truly character building time.

I also learned loneliness, suffered separation anxiety, learned to survive on my own because no one else was there to support me. I thought I had learned independence as a teen, but I really learned independence and self-reliance in the Navy. Not to say I was completely alone. You develop life-long relationships in the military as you are forced to rely on people you barely know. But in the end when it comes to success in the military you stand alone. I guess it would better be stated, I was forced to survive without those I had relied on for so long in the past and thus had to learn new ways to survive with new people.

It was at this time that my fear of God continued to grow as I continued to be engulfed in Scripture trying to remove the doubt that was in me.

I’ve found that nothing is more refining than God’s Word. The knowledge I have gained about me by reading the Bible is immeasurable. Its philosophy, psychology and history all wrapped up in one. It cuts to your heart and opens your mind to see things about you that you didn’t know exist. This for me has been and continues to be my greatest source of knowledge. Its wisdom wraps you up until your whole life is viewed through God’s Word.

Mr Low was one of my sounding boards as a teenager. Like any teen, my friends were my sounding boards as well. God’s Word has been my sounding board as an adult. It doesn’t matter what the subject matter is. Politics, religion, psychology, marriage, relationships, work ethic, and so on and so forth; all of it is subject to God. I’ve also been blessed with Godly friends.

It was in the military that I started to develop my political views as well. I saw military force with no war. I saw bureaucratic waste of our resources. I saw cronyism, rules for the sake of rules, unjust discipline, blind obedience. I saw our military attacked (The Cole) and our homeland attacked (9/11). I saw the decisions that were made by our leaders as a result. I know that people are dead because I did my job. It was a very confusing time in the military. You wanted to support what you were a part of and know that you were doing right, but I don’t think I was ever convinced of this.

My political views really began to change with the discovery of Lewrockwell.com. A libertarian news / article website. They say ignorance is bliss, and this was the end of my bliss. I learned about just war, and economics. I studied the founding fathers, federalist anti-federalist arguments, American History. I read books by the men we say our country was founded by. I learned as much as I could about their thinking and reasoning.

Christianity and God’s Word seemed to be in the center of it all. Contrary to the popular “Separation of Church and State” mantra, it is impossible to separate church from state without rejecting God and God’s Moral Law all together. Church was never meant to be removed from State decisions. State was removed from Church decisions.

Moving on with my tale of personal knowledge, 2-3 years of studying the Bible praying to have the doubt removed so I could return to Mormonism, instead I was lead to reject Mormonism as God’s True Church. Scripture just didn’t conform to what the LDS had taught me my whole life. There is a whole world of Mormons (Mr Low included) who disagree with me. But for me, I had to choose between what God’s Word said and the religion I was raised in and God won.

It was at this time that I was to learn about the many Christian denominations. I knew nothing of Christian History, or the many Christian Churches. I started trying to attend different churches. The bulk of my church experience being LDS it was quite the culture shock. The biggest shock of all was how much non-sense is preached from ‘Christian’ pulpits. I learned how gullible humans can be. The things I saw done in the name of God were appalling. I felt like I was watching sheep being led to the slaughter as I watched “Christians Engulfed with the Spirit” doing all sorts of truly strange things.

The power of belief, the power of the human mind to have a physical effect, the power of humans was being revealed to me.

When I finally joined a church a year later it was because the Pastor though young, always tried to preach from Scripture, even if it was in rather unconventional ways. I joined Bible Study groups, with Vince (the pastor), and spent the next three years studying with him and various other Christians. I found myself leading Bible Studies even though I was the youngest person in the room. I found people looking to me as wise. And I was truly wise in my own eyes.

I left the Navy feeling I had a good handle on Politics, Religion and Life. I was introduced to a Christianity I had never seen that taught me otherwise. Reformed Christianity I had never heard of. Calvin, Armenis, Luther, St Augustine, Edwards, Knox, theonomics, Eschatology, Epistemology, and whole bunch of other –ologies left me wondering what bus I had missed.

However, for the first time in my life I sat in a church and wasn’t challenging the Pastor’s “Biblical” stance. The dedication to Biblical truth and accuracy I found was a breath of fresh air to someone who had spent many moons looking for truth in Religion.

Since leaving the Navy I have continued my pursuit of knowledge in Scripture and in Politics. In Politics and Economics I’ve found mainstream information to be jaded and misleading. I’ve found the Republicans whom I had been raised to believe in to be no better than their Democratic counterparts. I’ve learned to questions the official histories and to seek alternate sources to find the truth in the stories of the past.

Even Scientific Theories must be questioned. Recently one of Einstein’s Theories was proven false. Our quest for truth and knowledge must be never ending. We must be willing to look beyond the mainstream paths of knowledge and learn to teach ourselves and seek truth in the unconventional places.

In Religion I have found Biblical Christianity, led by those with the same passion for truth as myself. I still question everything, but am pleased to find truth and gospel preached.

I think the most important lesson I learned from Mr Low and from life is that “the Beginning of ALL wisdom is the fear of God”. And all of our knowledge must be measured against the measuring stick of God’s Word.

And as the saying goes, “The More I learn, the Less I Know”.

Lord willing I can continue to apply that principle to my life and teach it to my children and my grandchildren. By God’s Grace I pray that when my life ends, my family and friends will look upon my life, in the same way the family of Richard Call Low looked upon his life. A man of God whose dedication to his faith and to the truth had a lasting impact on his children, and his children’s children. A man who touched the world with service and wisdom.

Writing... writing... it' s been so long.. just writing...

Something there is that doesn’t love a wall

That sends the frozen ground swell under it

And spills the upper boulders in the sun

And I took the one less travelled, and that has made all the difference

And it pleased the Lord to bruise him!

Writing is my long forgotten passion.  I think it was the Navy that gave me the passion.  I guess when you are stuck on a ship for countless days you find ways to engage your mind. 

Recently I’ve touched in conversations Politics, Religion, Finance, Debt, Marriage, Work, Unions;  All great things to converse about.  But I have been noticing that I am waning in my knowledge of much of the things I used to love to be knowledgeable about.  I have all but given up sports.  I barely have time to read about my own faith these days, yet alone the faith of others.  Finance and debt while important, can be dull.  Marriage, hmmm..  that always seems to be the egg shell topic.  I often feel so out of touch with current events.  It becomes hard to hold conversation.  Mentally I’m still in the 90’s or at best the early 2000’s.  Cars, oh cars, but who has the time or the money or the tools to indulge.  My poor baby still sits parked collecting dust and rust.

Why have I abandoned my many passions?  I guess I can sum it up on one word.  Family!  I am often amazed at how much being husband and a father takes out of me.  I love my family.  But I can honestly say I have never been so weary.  I have become a slave to my job which I must do to support the before mentioned family.  I think I enjoy my work, at least some times, but it just seems to never end.  It’s like bailing water out of a holey ship.  No matter how good you think you are doing, you are still sinking. 

Alas I know I will be a slave to work the rest of my days, because my family needs me to be.  And so, while I accept the responsibility I have taken on, I do find myself missing the freedom of being wreck less. 

Wreck less?  You Sean?  Oh yes.  I long for the opportunity to jump out of a perfectly good airplane; to travel down the interstate at 100+mph in a train of like minded drivers passing cars like they are sitting still;  jump in a car and drive with no destination in mind and no care if you get nowhere;  go swimming in the ocean at 2am slightly buzzed but just enjoying the crashing of the waves;  swim out passed the buoy so the lifeguards can swim out after you to tell you how ‘dangerous’ it is to be so ‘far’ from shore; jump of an 80 foot bridge and wonder what you were thinking as you plummet towards the water and it knocks the wind out of you as you slam into it leaving you breathless 30 feet deep;  the challenge of a rip current dragging you to sea as the waves slam you to the sand and relentlessly hold you down on the ocean floor;  staying up all night in an airport talking to a stranger you just met because both of you have an early AM flight and don’t feel like sleeping;  Tearing apart your car for fun not knowing if you can put it back together; Walk through the streets in the pouring rain oblivious to the cold wet cloths on your back cuz your having too much fun just playing in the rain; ooo football in the rain, sliding tackles, muddy cloths, hoping you don’t break any bones;  a mosh pit with thousands of screaming madman pushing and shoving, crowd surfing knowing that the only thing keeping you from crashing into the concrete below are the hands of strangers; 

The point is, for a good portion of my life I did what I wanted, when I wanted.  And while I would not give up my wife and kids for anything, I do miss the adventure of the unknown.  I miss the thrill of life with limited boundaries.  Marriage builds great walls.  Walls of responsibility;  People who depend on you for their life, food, cloths, roof, ect.  People who would suffer should you break a bone, lose a job or die.  People you love and care for. 

I think it’s the inactivity that really does me.  I used to swim hours a day.  Bike at least 10 miles a day.  Walk everywhere.  Play basketball, volley ball, kayaking, football, rollerblading, tennis, weightlifting, sparring, ect.  It’s the wake up before sunrise and get home just before the sun sets, and not have time to enjoy the day that just grates on me. 

Yesterday we spent the day at the park with friends.  Water fights, Frisbee, kites, bikes, good food and watching the kids be kids.  It was a good day. I think that is really what I need.  I still haven’t figured out how to convert my desire to do ‘stuff’ into a family activity.  It’s so easy when you are single.  You just do it.  But for some reason when you have to find something for 5 people to do it suddenly seems like an impossible task. 

I’m slowly but surely getting better at it, but it just isn’t natural for me.  I really have to work at it.  I never came up with activities before.  I just always ended up involved.  But you can’t just show up on your friends’ door with a family of five (a single guy can get away with that).  Getting out the door is a major event, yet alone actually doing something. 

I guess yesterday has revived my restlessness.  I have to figure this out.  The great unknown awaits.  We must find a way to explore it without breaking the bank. 

Music, that my other lost love.  No radio in my jeep, and no radio at work.  Listening to the radio at home is an event, though not a relaxing one.  I need my Metallica, U2, White Zombie, Jim Crow, Doors, Janis Joplin, Pink Floyd, 80’s rock, and all things not post 1995.  Again, I just need to acquire the tools to make music a part of my life again. 

Back to yesterday, it has been so long since I’ve been extremely active that today has been miserable.  It seems yesterday I had a full body work out.  Today I had a one of those coughing fits you get when you forget which tube the food goes down and my sides hurt so bad with ever cough as the muscles screamed at me in agony.  My arms hurt, my legs hurt, my a@# hurts.  It is a good pain, but pain nonetheless.  Makes me want to go out and do it again. 

So now that I’ve rambled on about nothing and wasted a precious ten minutes of your life you will never get back again, I will be off to bed..

College Bound........... Again......... I think.......

I've been thinking about going to college for 23 years now.  At first I was too young and just looking to the future.  Then I couldn't afford it.  Then I just wasn't motivated.  Than I could afford it but was busy doing other things.  Then I was busy doing other things and couldn't afford it.  Now I am busy doing many things and might be able to afford it.

I am also currently motivated.  Why you may ask?

First, I am running out of time to have taxpayers like myself compensate me for volunteering six years of my life to the Department of Offense (I mean defense) by paying my tuition cost.  Also known as the GI Bill.  Yes, I know it's forced relocation of money by the gov't.  But the way I see it, I'm just getting my taxes back.  I think I've given Uncle Sam enough money in taxes, social security benefits, FICA and other taxes.  Not to mention DMV fees, Sales tax, parking tickets, speeding tickets, and countless other ways the gov't has ripped me off over my lifetime.  It's time I get my money back.

Second, I am discovering in my middle age that progression beyond my current level of the corporate ladder is rather difficult without a degree.  Not impossible, but certainly not a walk in the park.  My Father successfully climbed the corporate ladder without a degree.  But he is one of the few if not the only one that I know of who has succeeded on the non-degree route. I have achieved a relatively high level for my education, age and work experience.  But stepping up beyond where I am is proving quite the challenge.  And since I have no intention of being a Maintenance Planner the rest of my life, it's time to move forward.

So, I am looking for the key that opens many doors.  It's amazing that our society puts such value on a piece of paper, but they do, and since I have and continue to gain work experience, I think it about time I get to working on the other side of the coin.

Lastly, I intend to follow the footsteps of an elderly man who works with me.  He has been a floor worker for 30+ years.  He bikes 15 miles to and from work daily.  He manually loads aluminum day in and day out.  He is always enrolled in one class.  He says he doesn't ever intend to not be learning something new.  I think that is a sound policy for anyone.

So wish me luck as I once again, hopefully successfully this time, venture back into the world of collegiate education.  And for anyone else considering college, it would serve you well to read this article by Dr Gary North.
www.LowestCostColleges.com
It could save you a bundle of dough and much time.  Because truth be told, I work in the corporate world, and rarely does anyone research the college you get your degree from.  And if they do, as long as it is ABEC accredited (for you maintenance / engineering folk) or accredited by one of the six Regional accreditation agencies, it doesn't matter what school you get your degree from.

Test Prayer
Now I lay me down to study
I pray the Lord I won't go nutty
If I fail to learn this junk
I pray the Lord I will not flunk
But if I do don't pity me at all
Just lay my bones down in the study hall
Tell my teacher I did my best
Then pile my books upon my chest
Now I lay me down to rest
And pray I'll pass tomorrow's test
If I die before I wake
That's one lest test I'll have to take

Sufferin' Student

A Navy Captain once plagiarized this poem from me for a graduation speech.