This week the death of a mentor reminded me of how short life is. His name to me was always Mr Low. To his wife he was Richard. To his children he was Dad. His death had me thinking about knowledge. What we know, how we know it. Mr Low was committed to knowledge. As his daughter put it, “Mountain climbers when asked why they climb mountains, often say ‘because it is there ‘. My father’s mountain was knowledge”.
The Bible says “The beginning of all wisdom is the fear of God”. It also says “The wisdom of God is foolishness to men”. When I sit and look at my own life, my own search for knowledge and wisdom, the list of sources of my knowledge are vast. Everything from, personal experience to history. This is my personal summary of where my knowledge comes from.
For the first 16 years of life my knowledge was almost entirely personal experience. Public school never taught me much. Just provided me a place to be other than home. But being the second youngest in a family of 7 kids led to many life experiences before I may have been ready for them. Through watching my siblings, my parents (all four of them) and my grandparents I was able to learn much about life. I call my childhood the Soap Opera. It was. But all this knowledge was in a vacuum, because even though I was raised Mormon, and sometimes Catholic, Christian, Jewish and Pagan, I really only knew God and God’s wisdom through the eyes of other men. I had yet to truly learn directly from God.
I was 14 or 15 when my sister bought me a series called “The book of Swords, by Fred Saberhagen”. This was the beginning of my journey to self-education. Reading quickly became a passion of mine. And when I have time it still is.
I was 16 when I first started to study the Scriptures on my own. I was passionate in my studies of God for the next four years. I grew to believe wholeheartedly in the Mormon faith. Mr Low was my sounding board. He dedicated countless hours of his life to me and the wisdom he shared and guidance he gave me continue with me to this day. Not only did I learn to think Scripturally, I learned service as I watched him care for his wife, who had suffered a stroke and was completely dependent on him. I think only now at his death do I realize the impact he had on my life.
If nothing else I gained a healthy fear of God in this time. In Mormonism the expectation is that a young man will go on a 2 year mission at the age of 19 or 20. I was determined to be prepared for this. About the time I was ready to serve my mission I was struck with doubt of the truth of Mormonism. Even with the aid of Mr Low I was unable to resolve my doubt. I could not in good conscience serve a mission preaching a ‘truth’ that I myself was not convinced of.
On a whim I ended up in the Navy instead. I was to experience learning on a whole new level. As a Navy Nuc I was submitted to a grueling 2 year training program which tested my knowledge, patience, endurance and ability to absorb vast quantities of highly technical information in a very short period of time. As someone who always has suffered self-esteem issues, this was a truly character building time.
I also learned loneliness, suffered separation anxiety, learned to survive on my own because no one else was there to support me. I thought I had learned independence as a teen, but I really learned independence and self-reliance in the Navy. Not to say I was completely alone. You develop life-long relationships in the military as you are forced to rely on people you barely know. But in the end when it comes to success in the military you stand alone. I guess it would better be stated, I was forced to survive without those I had relied on for so long in the past and thus had to learn new ways to survive with new people.
It was at this time that my fear of God continued to grow as I continued to be engulfed in Scripture trying to remove the doubt that was in me.
I’ve found that nothing is more refining than God’s Word. The knowledge I have gained about me by reading the Bible is immeasurable. Its philosophy, psychology and history all wrapped up in one. It cuts to your heart and opens your mind to see things about you that you didn’t know exist. This for me has been and continues to be my greatest source of knowledge. Its wisdom wraps you up until your whole life is viewed through God’s Word.
Mr Low was one of my sounding boards as a teenager. Like any teen, my friends were my sounding boards as well. God’s Word has been my sounding board as an adult. It doesn’t matter what the subject matter is. Politics, religion, psychology, marriage, relationships, work ethic, and so on and so forth; all of it is subject to God. I’ve also been blessed with Godly friends.
It was in the military that I started to develop my political views as well. I saw military force with no war. I saw bureaucratic waste of our resources. I saw cronyism, rules for the sake of rules, unjust discipline, blind obedience. I saw our military attacked (The Cole) and our homeland attacked (9/11). I saw the decisions that were made by our leaders as a result. I know that people are dead because I did my job. It was a very confusing time in the military. You wanted to support what you were a part of and know that you were doing right, but I don’t think I was ever convinced of this.
My political views really began to change with the discovery of Lewrockwell.com. A libertarian news / article website. They say ignorance is bliss, and this was the end of my bliss. I learned about just war, and economics. I studied the founding fathers, federalist anti-federalist arguments, American History. I read books by the men we say our country was founded by. I learned as much as I could about their thinking and reasoning.
Christianity and God’s Word seemed to be in the center of it all. Contrary to the popular “Separation of Church and State” mantra, it is impossible to separate church from state without rejecting God and God’s Moral Law all together. Church was never meant to be removed from State decisions. State was removed from Church decisions.
Moving on with my tale of personal knowledge, 2-3 years of studying the Bible praying to have the doubt removed so I could return to Mormonism, instead I was lead to reject Mormonism as God’s True Church. Scripture just didn’t conform to what the LDS had taught me my whole life. There is a whole world of Mormons (Mr Low included) who disagree with me. But for me, I had to choose between what God’s Word said and the religion I was raised in and God won.
It was at this time that I was to learn about the many Christian denominations. I knew nothing of Christian History, or the many Christian Churches. I started trying to attend different churches. The bulk of my church experience being LDS it was quite the culture shock. The biggest shock of all was how much non-sense is preached from ‘Christian’ pulpits. I learned how gullible humans can be. The things I saw done in the name of God were appalling. I felt like I was watching sheep being led to the slaughter as I watched “Christians Engulfed with the Spirit” doing all sorts of truly strange things.
The power of belief, the power of the human mind to have a physical effect, the power of humans was being revealed to me.
When I finally joined a church a year later it was because the Pastor though young, always tried to preach from Scripture, even if it was in rather unconventional ways. I joined Bible Study groups, with Vince (the pastor), and spent the next three years studying with him and various other Christians. I found myself leading Bible Studies even though I was the youngest person in the room. I found people looking to me as wise. And I was truly wise in my own eyes.
I left the Navy feeling I had a good handle on Politics, Religion and Life. I was introduced to a Christianity I had never seen that taught me otherwise. Reformed Christianity I had never heard of. Calvin, Armenis, Luther, St Augustine, Edwards, Knox, theonomics, Eschatology, Epistemology, and whole bunch of other –ologies left me wondering what bus I had missed.
However, for the first time in my life I sat in a church and wasn’t challenging the Pastor’s “Biblical” stance. The dedication to Biblical truth and accuracy I found was a breath of fresh air to someone who had spent many moons looking for truth in Religion.
Since leaving the Navy I have continued my pursuit of knowledge in Scripture and in Politics. In Politics and Economics I’ve found mainstream information to be jaded and misleading. I’ve found the Republicans whom I had been raised to believe in to be no better than their Democratic counterparts. I’ve learned to questions the official histories and to seek alternate sources to find the truth in the stories of the past.
Even Scientific Theories must be questioned. Recently one of Einstein’s Theories was proven false. Our quest for truth and knowledge must be never ending. We must be willing to look beyond the mainstream paths of knowledge and learn to teach ourselves and seek truth in the unconventional places.
In Religion I have found Biblical Christianity, led by those with the same passion for truth as myself. I still question everything, but am pleased to find truth and gospel preached.
I think the most important lesson I learned from Mr Low and from life is that “the Beginning of ALL wisdom is the fear of God”. And all of our knowledge must be measured against the measuring stick of God’s Word.
And as the saying goes, “The More I learn, the Less I Know”.
Lord willing I can continue to apply that principle to my life and teach it to my children and my grandchildren. By God’s Grace I pray that when my life ends, my family and friends will look upon my life, in the same way the family of Richard Call Low looked upon his life. A man of God whose dedication to his faith and to the truth had a lasting impact on his children, and his children’s children. A man who touched the world with service and wisdom.
