Dr Seuss Land

It has been a long time since I’ve blogged.  Life just went crazy.  A year ago I was packing up to move for the first time in 8 years.  Upgrade to a rented house.  3 weeks to the day after we moved, I receive a phone call.  It is my plant manager, who just transferred to Michigan, asking me if I would follow him.  He needs my help. 

Keep in mind this side of America was suffering the worst winter it had seen in decades while sunny southern California was having one of the nicest winters I can recall.  Oh, and I HAD JUST MOVED AND SIGNED A 12 MONTH LEASE. 

So, I’ve been praying for the right opportunity to leave California for at least 7 years.  Every golden opportunity never seemed to pan out.  Therefore, I gave up.  I resolved to stay in Cali.  I am ready to settle down for a few more years to finish College and let my son finish High School and God lays this dream job right in my lap.  All I have to do is move to Michigan.  NO NO NO.  That was not what I prayed for.  Michigan?  Really? 

In the end, it was my father’s wisdom that helped me make the choice.  He simply explained that if I let this door close without stepping through it, there is no guarantee of when, if ever another door will open.  In other words, if you want to move up, take the opportunities afforded you no matter what. 

In June, I moved by myself to Kalamazoo, Mi.  As my wife said, you are moving me to a Dr Seuss book.  By the end of July, my family had followed.  It hasn’t been an easy transition.  Friends, family, church, comfort zone, all left behind. 

Last time I left California, I was young and single.  I’m finding it a much different adventure when you are married with three children.  I’ve always been a nomad so meeting people and starting over isn’t a big deal.  However, my wife and kids are not nomadic. 

I think the hardest thing has been finding a church home and missing friends.  Every day off becomes a challenge to figure out what one does in KZoo with a family of five. 

The winter, while mild by Michigan standards is brutally cold by California standards.  I’ve spent a small fortune clothing the five of us.  The other day I walked outside, it was 30 degrees and I thought, “This isn’t that bad”.  There is something very wrong with that picture.  30 DEGREES NOT THAT BAD. 

So we’ve become, not the nomadic family, but the hibernating family.  Looking forward to seeing what spring brings into our lives. 

On a brighter note for the first time ever I am seriously considering buying a home.  Growing up I always thought I’d be a homeowner.  I just didn’t think it would take me almost 40 years. 

That means we are going to be here a while.  Who would have thought I’d ever own a home in Michigan.  Certainly not me. 

Well, wish me luck, next week the house hunt begins. 

None Would Be Hired!

So Milestone 4 in my short list of truly significant events this year is quickly approaching.  And as I reflect on what brought about this milestone, I have a few thoughts (surprise.. surprise).

I’ve always know my self-esteem needs work.  I don’t wake up, look in the mirror and see a great man with great abilities.  I tend to see my failures.  But I’m blessed to know quite a few who see me in a much brighter light than I see myself.  It is in their eyes that I see a different me.  A better me.  Someone whom others turn to and count on. 

I will speak of these because I’m beginning to see a side of me that I usually deny exists.  It is because of them that my eyes are being opened and the veil of self-deprecation that usually shrouds my view of myself is slowly being torn. 

My Plant Manager of four years has relocated to Michigan.  He has spent the last 4 months bending heaven and earth to ensure that I follow him to Michigan.  I can’t say all he has done, but I know that the efforts required by him to ensure I follow him are far beyond anything I could have expected.  I would truly be a blind man if I didn’t recognized that he sees great potential in me and has much faith in my ability to positively impact the facility he is in charge of.  Oh, so in case you didn't guess, Milestone 4 is I'm moving to Michigan.

My past Manager who is also in the mid-West recently congratulated me on my new position stating that when she first came to the Michigan plant, one of her first thoughts was, “they need a Sean here”.  She is an amazingly talented manager and I’m honored to know she thinks me so capable and talented.  She is convinced that I am the man for the job.

My most self-revealing encounter as a result of my new job comes from my Engineering Manager of 6 years.  We are actively seeking to fill my position.  2 of 3 internal candidates bowed out leaving only one.  He insisted we have at least two candidates before making a decision for comparison.  I asked why he just doesn’t use me for comparison.  His answer was, “If you are the bar, none of the three would be hired.” 

These are all people whom I admire and have a deep respect for.  Their insight and opinions have helped me throughout the years.  So to have their insight directed towards me and my abilities and to hear their endless praise and confidence leaves me wondering what I’m not seeing when I look in the mirror. 

While I can’t answer that question, I do accept the image of me they reflect.  I move forward knowing that if they think I can, than I most likely can (no matter my personal self-image).  One positive I have learned about myself is that when I accept challenges I don’t think I’m capable of, I somehow find a way to succeed.  This new job is no exception.  I see where the bar is set and have no idea how I’m going to meet it, but my PM believes I can do it and so I shall move forward.  Can I actually do it?  Only time will tell, but if history can forecast, than yes, I will succeed. 

How?  I have no idea?  I’m thankful to have people who see in me the skills, and talent I rarely see in myself.  I’m grateful they challenge me to reach heights I could never see myself reaching with full confidence in my ability.  I pray God continues to place people in my life that will push me to greater heights than I could ever dream myself capable. 

Did you ever get to ride Colossus in reverse?

My back has been hurting a lot lately.  Usually that means I'm stressed out.  It has been a long six months.  God has sent one storm after another.  

Oh there he goes, using the "G" word again.  I know, I know, I shouldn't believe in that invisible guy in the sky malarky.  But I do, and this is my blog so ha.

I learned a lot in this time.  I learned the challenges of single parenthood.  I learned the depth of friendship (once again).  I learned time management (again) as I juggled school, work, home, ext.  

All of this I know has been God's plan for me.  God's providence, which is really what is on my mind.  See I believe every second of every minute of every day of my life God has predestined and foreordained.  I don't think a moment of my life is an accident, or simply the result of a choice I made.  NO, God is in control, and whatsoever comes to pass is His plan.  That means that the knots in my back and the stress I’m feeling are exactly what God wants for me right now.  Hmmm. Can't say I agree with Him... not my favorite state of being.

So, what are the stresses that have been consuming my life lately?  I guess I can take them one at a time.

Family members getting arrested (sadly more than one).  Patty and I devoted a great deal of time and energy into helping out.  It’s quite the emotional, physical and financial ordeal for a family.  At this point the storm has passed but the destruction left in its path was fierce and will take years to rebuild. 

School, oh that dreaded thing called an education.  I have this crazy notion that it’s worth something, so I’m spending my FREE TIME trying to get a degree.  The challenge being that I have to live the rest of my life as well.  Time is a finite thing, and it can never be recovered.  “Time is marching on… and time… is still marching on…”  But there is good news.  I should finish my last class for my Associates of Science in Technology with a focus on Electro~mechanics by mid April.  After that, I may have to celebrate, or at least have a good stiff drink.  I have this nice bottle of 21-year-old Scotch that might be right for the occasion. 

The Holidays.  Why do the holidays always seem stressful?  Thanksgiving is for thanking God, but it seems we always forget and instead just gorge ourselves.  Christmas is a celebration of the birth of our Lord, but we tend to forget him and focus on obligatory gift giving and this jolly old fat guy.  Maybe the holidays are stressful because, like everything else, we are trying to remove God from the picture.  Nevertheless, this years holidays were no exception to the stress rule.  

Boy Scouts!  I am very proud of my son and his friends.  They may be a lazy bunch of teenagers, but they are trying to press forward to Eagle Scout.  I’m not sure they are going to make it, but I applaud the effort.  Moreover, I am doing everything I can to support them, including being the Assistant Scout Master, with all of my free time.  I never made Eagle myself.  Lord willing they will succeed where I failed.  We’ve spent the better part of last month trying to raise money for this summers scout camp.  It’s been a mark of pride to see my son going out on his own to try to make this happen.  He’s still a lazy teenager though. 

Speaking of the lazy teenager, we are going through the adoption process.  Now truth be told, so far it has been an amazing smooth process for us.  An old friend of mine just happens to practice family law and she’s working pro~bono on our case.  I’ve had to pay filing fees, and court cost, but she hasn’t asked me for a dime.  I’m grateful God has blessed me with friends like this.  We had our day in court recently and I was nervous because the judge looked like a grumpy Judge Judy and had the attitude to boot.  She grilled our lawyer on the methods she had used to serve paperwork 3000 miles away as if we hadn’t given it our best effort.  I actually thought she was going to rule against us until she started asking my son questions.  He couldn’t answer a single question she asked about his birth father, because truthfully he doesn’t know and they never talk.  She ruled in our favor, eventually and we are now in a holding pattern while the court gives father of the year a chance to appeal.  “Time…  is marching on… and time… is still marching on”. 

Getting back to school, we homeschool and I’ve been teaching reading to my two younger kids.  However, with all the turmoil these past six months, it’s been hit and miss at best.  Not good.  Their education should be impacted because of my problems.  Right now it is.  “Time… is marching on… and time… is still marching on”.

And lets not forget about that teenager.  He’s determined that his God is technology and he’ll cling to it at all cost.  Not going to go into details, but his choices have made it clear what is most important to him.  So, we’ve been dealing with the rebellious teen which is always fun.  I love the kid, but I’d like to throw him through the wall sometimes.  How do you teach a teenager about priorities and responsibility? How do you ensure he gets it before he's no longer a teenager?  Someone recently told me a baseball bat wrapped in a towel leaves no bruises. hmmmm.  "Rule of thumb... can't do much damage with that.. maybe it should be a Rule of Wrist.." 

I can see your eyes bulging out of your head in disbelief.  Did he just say that?  No, I'm not going to assault my son with a baseball bat, nor will I throw him through a wall (it might hurt the wall), but a good tongue lashing might be in order.  You people are so serious.  Lighten up. 

This is getting long.  Well of course it is.  I told you I’ve been stressed out.  

The next layer of stress involved a termination of lease.  Now we were planning to move this year, but not yet.  We still had some financial issues to resolve first.  But alas, God pushed and we moved.. quickly.  14 days from notice to moving.  Rent almost doubled, had to buy a washer and dryer.  And of course as we are moving in, my good friend who is helping me looks at me and asks, “Sean, where are you planning on putting your fridge?”  Seemed an odd question.  Where do you think? Right there in the spot that is made for the fridge, that is way shorter than I realized… hmmm.  Uhh… hmmm..  uhh.. in the garage. 

Thus began the great fridge hunt of 2014.  The space for the fridge is exactly 67-1/4” tall.  Almost every fridge I found was at least 67-1/2” tall.  After visiting many stores and searching online for hours I finally found a fridge that was 66-3/4” tall.  But when I went to sears, their specs said 67-1/2” tall, as did Lowes and every other place I tried.  And of course NOBODY had this model on the floor. 

I call Maytag and they assure me the engineering specs of the fridge are 66-3/4” tall.  Don’t ask me why all the stores have a different spec than the manufacturer.  I DON’T KNOW. 

Sears says they can special order it with a lead-time of…  60 days.  Lowes… 30 days.  On a whim, we end up at Howards.  They offer the same fridge, cheaper and delivered in 10 business days.  That was 20 days ago.  I still don’t have a fridge and I’m still uncertain it will fit.  Why you ask?  Well the fridge was order, shipped and delivered as scheduled.  However, they damaged it in shipping, so they had to send it back and reorder it. 

Did I mention all these nice new appliances I had to buy on credit because I spent every dime I had moving?  On a brighter note our tax return came in, which helped.. a little.

Just as all the dust is settling from all of this, God throws another curveball.  Now I’m not going to divulge this particular curveball, because I’m still in the middle of it and the outcome is far from certain.  But it’s a doozy that I didn’t see coming. 

Stress… why am I stressed?  Because God thinks I’m a lot stronger and more resilient than I think I am.  The reason I’m not having a nervous break down is because I do believe in God’s providential control of everything.  I know this is His plan for me and He has a plan to get me through this.  I wish He’d let me in on the secret. 

It’s like riding Colossus backwards; you know there are going to be bumps and turns and drops and rises, but you can’t see them and they are quite jarring when they actually occur.  You also know that the path is defined and you will reach the end. 

Some would look at this and claim God has a wicked sense of humor, and I’ll admit the “Blasphemous Rumors” song has zipped through my brain on more than one occasion.  He certainly seems to be taking me the exact opposite of the direction I planned, which tends to be His way in my life.  “Best laid plans of mice and men.”  But it’s not a wicked sense of humor, but rather a passionate love.  He knows exactly what I need, when I need it and has determined how He will ensure I get it, whether I like it or not. 

He’s just dragging my stubborn Irish ass kicking and screaming all the way.  So praise God for the calamity that I call life, for the stress and the heartache and the chaos, that seems so beyond my control, all while remaining completely within His control. 

Ce la vie!

Extremist in Christianity

I recent attended the first annual Bahnsen Conference at my church.  Greg Bahnsen was a brilliant theologian with the gift of simplification. 

This post is not about Greg Bahnsen, but if you've never heard of him, look him up.  I ran into a gentlemen who is a Kinist.  If you don't know what that is, don't worry, most people don't.  I do because I spent years in a debate with a very close friend who had embraced these views.  Eventually this led to us going our separate ways on less than congenial terms. 

This post is not about Kinism.  But rather about extreme views that are "outside of orthodoxy".  What does that mean you ask?  I'm not a theologian, but for me it has always meant, beliefs that are clearly contrary to the Bible. 

It has been my observation over the years that what happens is someone has a belief and they read a text in Scripture which they think supports their belief and then they proceed to build a whole line of thinking around that one text.  It typically leads to grossly distorting the primary text as well as other texts which must be distorted in order to fit this worldview.  Usually they are supported by extra-Biblical arguments.

Sadly, those who hold to one of these view are so committed to their belief that no level of reason, evidence or truth can convince them otherwise. It often results in the loss of friends, family and other relationships as this one extreme view encompasses your life. 

I used to get angry or passionately aggressive in opposition to extremist.  I would spend hours if not days (months) in research and discussion/debate.  But running into this Kinist reminded me of why I don't do this anymore.  First, I just don't have the time.  But more importantly, I know it is easy for me to go from brotherly correction, to arrogant opposition.  And in doing so I'm not honoring God.  I'm dishonoring God and robbing my family of precious time I could be doing Husbandly (yes, I know that isn't a word) and Fatherly thing.

Maybe someday, when I don't have 3 kids to raise and work and school and when I've had more time to ground myself in God's Word, I'll re-engage the extremist.  But for now, I'll share the gospel where I can, and focus on raising my kids in the "fear and admonition of the Lord". 

To my Kinist friends and other extremist whom I know and love, I'll keep praying for you.  I know only God can open your eyes.  I'm saddened by the destruction you bring into your lives and the lives of those you love.  I'm saddened and frustrated that you can't see how extreme and unBiblical your views really are.

And you probably think me naive, hateful, biased or bigoted just for saying that. 

"Let God be true, and every man a liar".  God's truth is only found in God's Word.  If your truth is originating from any other starting place, you are misled.  Any man who tries to convince you otherwise you should flee from. 

We sinners will never know the truth perfectly while on earth.  But even in our imperfect knowledge we need to stand against what is clearly opposed to God's Word. 

A young mans choice!

Next week my oldest starts High School.  Not sure how I feel about that.  I don't feel like I'm old enough to have a son in High School.  He's still so young, yet sometimes he surprises me.

Not long ago he wanted to spend the night at a friends house.  And he wanted to skip church the next morning.  So I made him a deal that if he led a 30 minute Bible Study with his friends on Sunday he could stay over.

The next morning he's talking about the Bible Study and one of his friends pipes up, "oh, your Dad was just kidding."

"My Dad does not kid about the Bible" he states as a matter of fact.  Thus begins the discussion of what to study.  Mrs J, who is hosting the party suggest just reading a chapter of Scripture and then talking about it.

My son picks a Proverb that is heavy on the topic of adultery.  These young teens end up in a very serious discussion on fidelity in marriage, sex outside of marriage and so on and so forth.  Mrs J was very impressed, as was I later when she told me about it.

Mrs J told me later that the boys taught her something, an important something.  Every sexual relationship you have before you are married is an infidelity towards the person you marry.  It's a lesson that many never learn.

She asked my son later why he picked that chapter.  His reply?  "I thinks it's important and I wanted my friends to know it."

As much as I complain about him, sometimes he demonstrates that we are doing something right.  God has blessed me with a wonderful family, a God fearing family.  And every now and then he shows me how His Grace in my life, and my obedience is being payed forward to my family.  My children are being given a much better start to life than I was given.

And they are going to need it, because life is getting hairy if I do say so myself.  Lord willing I am preparing them for it.

"What are you Prepared to Do?"

“How do you handle a worker who refuses to follow the simple rules? Repeatedly?  What if there was nothing in the contract that allowed you to discipline them?”

This was the question that had me stumped today.  Hmmmm

There are really only two ways to get someone to choose to do the right thing.  Positive reinforcement or negative reinforcement. 

So in thinking about this, now I relate it to how I raise my children.  I instruct them, guide them correct them, correct them again.  At some point I have to acknowledge that their disobedience is rebellion deserving of negative reinforcement. 

But the negative reinforcement can’t be reactionary.  It’s only truly effective if it is not reactionary, but rather a calculated discipline.  You have to explain to them why it is they are being disciplined. And dealing with employees is often like dealing with children.  

So if I take the principles of “Resolve conflict at the lowest possible level” and “Positive reinforcement before negative reinforcement”, then apply it to this question, what do I come up with?

First the activity has to be identified as wrong.  The individual must receive instructions clarifying that his actions are wrong and why.  Should this be a repeat offense the individuals actions should be brought to his direct supervisor to once again correct with positive reinforcement and continue to monitor.  There is no black and white answer as to what point is correct to shift from positive reinforcement to negative reinforcement.  But at some point discipline must become the method of behavior adjustment. 

Now in this particular scenario, there was no option for discipline to be used as a method of behavior adjustment.  Thus you end up in the less than idea situation of repeating the positive reinforcement over and over again, until the subject succumbs just to get you to leave him alone.  Your positive reinforcement becomes negative reinforcement by its obnoxiously repetitive nature. 

One thing I’ve learned is the old adage, “where there is a will, there is a way” is almost always true.  The value of the challenge must be more than the resistance to the challenge.  Or in this case, the value of correction must be more than the resistance to correction in order for the leader to be motivated enough to find a solution to the conundrum.

So truth be told, I still don’t have an answer to the question.  Only the knowledge that there is always a way if the will is strong enough. 

In the words of Sean Connery, “What are you prepared to do?”

Back To School

Dr. Gary North told me I should blog about my college experience.  I'm thinking I just need to get back into blogging.  I like dumping my thoughts out through my fingers onto a screen.  It's therapeutic. 


To those who visit my blog (all one of you), I apologize for my absence.  Not that I'm going to become a frequent blogger like I used to, but I would like to become a more frequent blogger.

So I am a student again.  I must say after being out of the academic world for over a decade, it's quite the culture shock to be a student.  Suddenly format and context matter again. They have this thing called "APA" formatting.  It basically means you have to jump on one leg, while sacrificing you firstborn to ensure you are not plagiarizing anyone, including yourself.  Still unsure of how I can plagiarize myself, but they say it can happen. 

Apparently I'm not very good at it, because after completing 2 classes and a handful of papers, my professors still are telling me I'm doing it wrong.  I asked my latest prof to help me understand what I'm doing wrong.  He said, and I quote "When doing any scholarly paper, you must cite any data which is not common knowledge. Common knowledge is defined as any data which would not be known by the common man,"  

Any data not known by the common man?!?! WTF?  First off, how do you define the 'common knowledge'?  Even more perplexing, how do you define 'common man'?  Spend 10 minutes on facebook and you can quickly figure out that 'knowledge' is in short order in our country.  Is that where I should go to learn the knowledge level of the 'common man'? So anything the average high school graduate, that says 'like' every other word, can't write, can barely read, and can't do basic addition without a calculator I have to cite?  Or am I being too negative?  I'm in college, I would expect the 'common' level of 'knowledge' to be above that of say your average high schooler.  What a bunch of SUBJECTIVE hogwash.

Yes, I am my usual wise ass self, even in college.  I think part of my problem is I've spent many years studying various topics, get this, FOR FUN.  And so my personal knowledge level is above that of what a professor would define as 'common knowledge'.  So when I am writing my college papers, quite often I'm not referencing anyone.  Do I cite myself?  How does one go about citing himself?  "In the paper I am currently writing, pulled from the chaotic annals of my mind, I thought bla...."  (OBrien, 2013).

Probably wouldn't go over well.  The two Prof's I've had so far didn't seem real big on sense of humors.   But some of the students and I are having a blast.  I even stumped my first professor.  Really, I did.  We were having an exchange on a discussion board and I was just fielding what to me were logical questions to her statements.  The conversation ended with her stating simply, "I'm not qualified to continue this discussion."

I must say that floored me.  Not qualified?  Aren't you the person with a Doctorate?  I don't even have an AA.  Not qualified?  Really?  Who's teaching who here?  

The good news is, that while I suck at formatting to a standard that I will never use outside of college (I'm okay with that), I'm still getting A's (two of them so far).  Let us hope the trend lasts.

And I'm engaging the students, who aren't as stiff as the Prof's.  With any luck I can open some eyes to a way of thinking not taught by the liberals who run my school.  They are sharper than the Prof's anyway (at least some of them).  It's an online school so some of the students are on the other side of the planet.  Talk about gaining perspective.

So, 5 more credits and I have my Associates Degree in Technical studies (with a focus on Nuclear Power).  Then it's on to a BS in Electro-Mechanical Technology.  The college administrators keep trying to convince me to get a BS in Nuclear Power.  My training in the Navy apparently qualifies for many credits in the field.  Why would I pursue a degree in a field I'm never ever ever..  did I say NEVER going back into?  I'm not going to school to get a piece of paper, I want to actually learn something.  What a novel thought that is.  So, after much debate they gave up and I'm pursing the degree I want. 

This should take me.. oh about 3 years.  Hey, I'm only taking one class at a time.  I thought about taking more, but I have quickly discovered that working full time as a Project Manager, while taking care of my wife and three kids doesn't leave much time for school.  In fact, just the one class took enough of my time for Patty to tell me she feels like a stranger.  "I know I had a husband" she likes to say.  So, I'll follow the turtles example, Slow and Steady.

What else is new?  We are debt free, completely debt free.  I can't begin to express how good that feels.  Maybe how I got out of debt should be my next blog post. 

To celebrate we are spending our new found wealth on a family vacation.  26 day road trip around the western half of America.  In fact we are going to make a complete loop around Utah, only touching it briefly at the Four Corner.  

Remember I mentioned the juggling act of my life.  Well, my boss was reluctant to allow me so much time off at once.  I had to lay out in grave detail how my job was going to be accomplished while I was gone.  I split up the critical logistical tasks of my day-to-day work among 4 people.  Put all my strategic projects on hold and had my presentation.  Lucky for me he said yes.  There are still things I know are going to be missed, but I'm confident the plant will survive the month.

It feels good to be blogging again.  "Poets, Priests and Politicians...  have words to thank for their position...  Words that scream for your submission... and no one's jamming their transmission..." 

My mind is already racing to the next topic so before I start another chaotic tangent of non-sense, I bid you adieu.