CrossRoads

It seems God has a way of keeping me on my toes. My world has been turned upside down all at once. Today I sit at the crossroads of my life with a slur of beginnings and endings wondering what tomorrow will be like.

May 13th at 10:16am Jahaira Lynne O'Brien was born. 8lbs 10oz 20.5 inches. My first new beginning. I've been a Dad for quite some time now. First to my stepson, then to my firstborn son and now a baby girl. I was surprised at the different feelings I developed. I've always heard the phrase "Daddy's Girl" but never understood it until now. Not that I don't love my son's, but I'm not very protective of them. I expect them to figure it out and experience the school of hard knocks. Yet I already feel myself being very protective of Jahaira. I'm thinking at this point, I'm going to have to count on Mom and bro's to teach her the school of hard knocks, cuz Daddy wants to build a wall (Pink Floyd anyone).

My first ending is also my second beginning. End of unemployment and the beginning of a new job. Quite frankly I was enjoying unemployment. Not waking up to an alarm clock, spending time with the wife and kids. My new employer has expressed very high expectations. Me being me, I'm of course questioning if I can meet them, when in reality, I'll set my mind to whatever task needs to be done and it will get done. I love the challenge, yet always question my ability to meet the goal. I make the least sense when dealing with me. Tomorrow is the day. It's a good job. Better pay, full benefits, plus 401k match. 2 weeks vacation starting and a boss who doesn't want to be my boss, but instead just expects me to perform so he doesn't have to worry about it. My kind of job so far. It's swing shift, that will take some getting used to, but it should be bearable. At least it's not graveyard.

Next at the crossroads is an ending. My good friend WJS graduated from Law School. He's been my best friend (before I met and married my wife of course) since I was a teenager. He was blessed to marry his High School Sweetheart. And he's been struggling through school for many years, while handling marriage and children (2 boys so far). Today, 2 days after his graduation, he is on his way to Texas. This is to be his new home. I must say his graduation has been a bitter sweet event. I will greatly miss my friend and his family. At the same time I'm thrilled for him and his family. I'm certainly glad he could escape the cesspool of Los Angeles. So farewell my friend. Keep fulfilling those dreams.

Today also marked the beginning of a month long visit from my mother-in-law. I'm hoping it turns out to be a blessing of grandmotherly assistance, yet fear it will be a battle of wills between mom and daughter.

So I now move forward through the crossroads into a new world trusting that God knows what he is doing. May God give me the wisdom to raise my daughter up right, the fortitude and guidance to succeed in my new career, and comfort in knowing that WJS and family have moved on to a better place.

Worlds Apart!

I recently ended a debate I was having with a Mormon. His final response was clear. "Our worldviews are so far apart we will never find common ground." I couldn't argue with him as I agree with him. This debate led me to wonder, why are the things which are so crystal clear to me, so hard for others to see?

Here is a list of a few
-Big government is bad (no we don't need the welfare / warfare dictatorship we have)
-Government doesn't belong in the private sector. (let business and people take care of themselves, they will do a much better job)
-My money belongs to me (God only demands 10%, why should the gov't get more than God?)
-Credit is bad (my grandfather bought 7 houses in cash. Wish I had learned this lesson much earlier in life)
-An armed nation is a safer nation (no, I don't own a gun, bun I'm working on it)
-God is omniscient and in control of everything (he means evil for good and good for good)
-Welfare is bad (hellooooo, since when is stealing from one person to give to another a good idea?)
-Everyone believes in God (they do.)
-Gov't controlled schools are destroying our youth (so we should stop giving them our money)
-the Feminist movement is evil (and no, I don't hate women, I'm married to a very beautiful woman who happens to have spent the first 30 years of her life engulfed in a feminist world)
-a Christian Democrat needs to re-evaluate his faith. (before you scream, I don't like the Republicans either, but at least their political view is slightly closer to their faith which they proclaim)

I could go on for a long time and create a list that would raise all sorts of controversial issues. And then everyone would hate me and never read anything I wrote again. I guess I'm assuming that someone is actually reading this. But that isn't my point. My point is no matter the issue, the response is always the same.

Fictitious Example:
This is what I hear from my perspective.
"Tell me you don't really believe that... the earth is round" and I reply, "Well YES, I do believe... that the earth is round, and I believe it because... I've been around the earth"


Now for what they hear.
"Tell me you don't really believe that... the earth is flat" and I reply, "Well YES, I do believe... the earth is flat, and I believe it because... wah wah wah wah wah wah"

It's always as if I'm bringing some absurd notion to the table and all they can focus on is that I believe this absurd notion. The rest of my argument falls on deaf ears.

I feel like saying, "If you can just step out of your box for a few minutes, we can get past your belief that my view is absurd." Even those who seem open reach a point where there is an impenetrable wall. Usually a wall built by years of self indoctrination via church / media / and other propaganda. It molds their thoughts into notions which, to me, stand outside of common sense and reason. Yet these are notions which I highly doubt they would come to of their own volition.

My 8 year old can figure out that if you walk into a room full of armed men, it is probably a bad idea to try to rob it; or that it is wrong to steal from one person and give it to another person: or that God is either in control or he's not in control:

Ok, not all of my viewpoints an 8 year old can understand, but many of the most hotly debated ones I'm sure he can figure out.

Is there a point to this blather. No, just me being frustrated at those who walk through life with blinders on repeating the nonsensical propaganda that someone has been feeding them all of their life, not really seeing, sensing and learning for themselves, but clinging desperately to their views, taught them by some inspired leader, in spite of all rhyme or reason.

We live in a world which has forgetten the most basic of questions; WHY? Why do you believe it is right to take money from A and give it to B? Why do you believe gov't has a right to my money? Why do you believe the world is round? Why do you believe you have a free will which supercedes the will of God? Why don't you believe in God? Why do you believe in killing babies? Why do you believe that America should be the world Police building other nations in our "perfect image"? Why are your marriage vows so easily discarded?

What about me you say? Fair enough. Why do I believe in God? Why do I value the life of a child who is still in his mothers womb? Why do I believe the world is round? Why do I believe America should return to the Founding Fathers belief of "Alliance with none, commerce with all"? Why do I fear what public schools are doing to our youth?

I have answers to all off my why's, answer formed through life and studious observation, not through brainwashing by media, religion, school, gov't propaganda, or whatever draws people to irrational conclusions.

Ok, vent is over, I feel better. Now dear reader, don't forget to ask yourself Why? Why you believe whatever it is you believe.

Quotes of Thomas Jefferson!!!

In reading the writings of our nations Founding Fathers, it saddens me to reallize in how little regard our society holds their views. We pay them lip service by celebrating Presidents Day and the Fourth of July and such, then chose to ignore almost all that they believed in. The rights and freedom for which they fought to secure, we throw away. In modern America, their views are considered antiquated. Washinton, Jefferson, Franklin, Hancock, Adams, Revere, Paine, and such. Great men, great leaders of their time. But their way no longer applies to us.

We study the warriors of ancient China, the philosphers of ancient Greece, many of us adhere to Biblical concepts written millennia ago. Yet the political wisdom of 200 years ago is antiquated.

So here is some political wisdom from 200 years ago from the pen of Thomas Jefferson

-Government big enough to supply everything you need is big enough to take everything you have ... The course of history shows that as a government grows, liberty decreases.

-I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.

-We must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt.

-The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.

-There is nothing more unequal, than the equal treatment of unequal people

-Democracy is 51% of the people taking away the rights of the other 49%

-If people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny.

-The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive.

-I have seen enough of one war never to wish to see another

-That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves

-Every citizen should be a soldier. This was the case with the Greeks and Romans, and must be that of every free state.

-We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate

-Never spend your money before you have it.

-I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.

-I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around [the banks] will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs.

We all should spend more time reading the writings of the men who Founded this nation, and then practice applying their wisdom to our world. If we don't, we will continue down the road of less freedom, less property and less rights.

Who said it?

"Why of course the people don't want war. Why should some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece? Naturally, the common people don't want war, neither in Russia, nor in England, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it's a democracy, or a facist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."

Can this quote be applied to todays war? I'll let you decide. But who am I quoting dear reader? None other than convicted Nazi war criminal Hermann Goering at his trial at Nuremberg.

The Lord Provides

I've been unemployed since Feb 12th. At first I was worried. My wife being pregnant, and knowing how tight our finances were up to my lay-off, I thought we would be sinking fast.

But somehow my finances have been more abundant than when I was working. My pregnant wife has been taken care of and very shortly will be giving birth to our daughter. My family has been completely provided for no thanks to me. I did hesitate in tithing during this time, but only momentarily. If God provides for me in times of plenty, I should trust him to provide in times of need, and he has. Glad I had the faith to continue to tithe.

March 12th marks 3 months of unemployment. It also marks the first day of my new job. My new employer is giving me everything I asked for. The pay I asked for, the shift I asked for, the benefits I wanted and time off to have my baby should I need it.

Amazing is all I can say!

The Lord Provides

I'M STILL ALIVE

DB has been bugging me lately about my lack of life in the Blogosphere. I guess life has just been keeping me too busy to vent here. So what is new in my life? Good question. So for anyone who might still someday read my Blog (and the list at this point must be small), here is an update.

Feb 12th I was laid off. Apparently self-motivated thinkers who stand up for the safety and well being of the peons on the floor in opposition to Plant Managers don't get to keep their jobs. On a brighter note, I have news from many sources that everything I held together is falling apart in my absense. I've actually been asked to come back as a consultant. But my position wasn't necessary. Ce La Vie.

The job hunt has been interesting. So far I managed to enter a lot of interesting doors, but apparently I'm just under par. I certainly must thank the Plant Managers, CFO's, Maintenance Managers, and VP's who allow me to use them as references.

When I first became unemployed I worried because Patty is pregnant. 2 months later with Jahaira due any day, I'm actually happy to be unemployed. I have been able to lighten the workload around the home for my wife during her hardest months of pregnancy. I will be wholey available when the little brat finally arrives to take care of my boys while my wife takes care of our girl. It's kinda exciting.

I will admit I'm a bit stir crazy. I'm not used to unemployment. Most days I feel like a sluggard. Staring at a computer for hours pounding out resumes and applications is draining. Can I just get back to work already.

So pray for my wife and soon to be daughter. Hopefully they both come through this ok. Pray that the right employer will find value in this Irishman and hire me.

What else is new? Oh yes, my long time friend BS is about to graduate from Loyola Marymount Law School. And than he is leaving for TX. It will be a bitter sweet moment. My friend is at the end of a very long journey. And then he begins a new journey half a nation away. I will miss him and his family. Of course he's trying to convince me to join him in his treck to the great country of Texas. Tempting but I don't think I'll be getting out of LA for a few more years.

You know, all the reasons I returned to LA seem to be leaving or have already left. I know it's time for me to plan my own exit. It's just a matter of how. HMMM...

Caleb turned 1 Feb 5th. For Easter he decided it was time to walk. He is certainly one of the perks of unemployment. I've gotten to see many of his first which I would have missed had I been at work. Now he stumbles around the living room trying to keep his balance. He is the Tazmanian Devils 1st cousin. This kid destroys everything. Today he had our livingroom covered in shredded styrofoam. If anyone has some old books they don't need, Caleb would love to destroy them for you.

For those of you still awake, I'll let ya know when my daughter joins the world.

goodnight

I wake up in the morning and I raise my weary head

I don't think there has ever been a time in my life where I could remember my dreams. I've never woken up terrified because of nightmares. In fact the only time my dreams wake me up are when my body try's to react to my dream as if I'm really there.

I really enjoy listening to other peoples dreams. It give me a glimpse of something that I may never experience myself (remembered dreams).

The last week I think I know what I've been dreaming though. Every morning for about 2 weeks I wake up and my mind is racing with solutions and scenarios of my work. I'm laying in bed in my groggy, waiting for the next snooze alarm state, trying to get those last precious moments of rest before my day begins and my mind is going full speed into my job. The only explanation I can come up with is I must be dreaming about work. I want to scream, "it's too early to be thinking about this". "Leave me alone, five more minutes!"

The worst part is it doesn't stop. I get up and go through my morning routine with my mind still racing. I jump in my car for my half hour drive to work (time I normally take to blissfully enjoy the radio) and my mind is still racing. I get halfway to work before I reallize I haven't even turned on the radio.

Even today, Saturday morning, I woke up thinking about air compressors, rebuilding production lines and safety hazards. Well, I'm off to go look for a distraction so I can think about something besides work.

IRS VS GOLD

People have been trying to beat the tax man since taxes were invented. Al Capone couldn't be convicted for the majority of his crimes but tax evasion got him. Here is a method I bet none of you have ever heard of.

In 1985 Ron Paul was the frontrunner congressman in passing the Gold Bullion Coin Act. This laws states that the US Govt is required to print and place in circulation Gold Coins in denominations of $50, $25, $10, and $5 dollars to meet demand. These coins are made of 91.67% Gold.

In the mid 90's a small businessman decided to compensate his employees using this alternate currency. The method of this madness is thus:
I'll pay you $50 a week with a gold coin with a face value of $50. This equates to an annual income of $2600. This is less than reportable income by IRS Code. However this US Govt minted "$50" coin is really worth $800. Which means if you converted the value of the Gold Coins currency to Federal Reserve Notes (dollars) you just made ~$42,000.

So, "If a coin says it is a $50 gold piece, and it says 'In God We Trust', and the law says that it is legal tender, and it is in circulation, isn't it reasonable for people to think that they can calculate their tax liability based on that?"

So go tell your boss that you want to get paid $100 a week in US Minted Gold currency!

SAFETY

I was approached by my Plant Manager not long ago on a Saturday. "Sean, I was in a meeting the other day and your name popped into my head." -Well Don, usually that means you have more work for me, so what's up? "Well, with Eugenia leaving we need someone to lead safety and I think you'd be perfect for the job. Nobody here understands safety at the floor level better than you." -Oh, because I have so much free time already, Don.

Thus began my latest adventure in life. So Don talked to my boss Sal, and his boss, the VP Bill. Monday morning Bill calls me to his office. We had a good long talk and in the end I said simply, no problem on one condition. You, Don, Sal and myself sit down and discuss our (meaning Sal and I) salaries, because if I'm taking on this extra responsibility so is he. "Sean, are you telling me you won't take this position if we don't have this talk?" -Yes Bill, that is exactly what I'm saying. "Agreed!"

So, Wednesday of that week I was officially made Safety Director. Bill was nice enough to assure me that I'm not in this alone. So why do I feel like I'm moving a mountain of rocks alone and at any moment the whole mountain could come tumbling down on top of me? The very next day Line 1 caught on fire. Destroyed property, evacuated the building, found faulty fire extinguishers, learned we have no fire team, no fire training, no breathing devices and no MSDS sheets for a product we've been making a year. Did I mention all the Corporate Guru's from New York happened to be in the building.

So, my second day as Safety Director I find myself in a Safety Response Review meeting for a fire we just had with Don (plant manager), Bill and all of their bosses. We created a list... THINGS THAT WENT RIGHT and THINGS THAT WENT WRONG. One column we were able to list 2 items. The other column we were able to list 16 items. Who wants to guess which column was which?

I spent the rest of the week dealing with the aftermath. Fire Marshalls, Health Inspectors, Alarm Companies, Fire extinguisher companies, Sprinkler companies, not to mention the damaged line, which is for a very specific customer who tells us he will start running short of product in 10 days. We are his only supplier.

So the next week (last week) I sign myself up for a three day OSHA training course. Come to find out it is actually a 12 day course, so I still have 8 days to go. By day 2 of the course I am already overwhelmed. It amazes me how far out of compliance we are. The training ended on Thursday and I've had safety nightmares every night since then. It as if my mind wants to work through the mountain I have to move when I'm sleeping. I end up waking up numerous times throughout the night.

Tomorrow is my first day back to work since the training. I think I need a good sit down talk with Don about what he expects and what I expect. Than I need to figure out how to start tearing down the mountain. And I still need to have that talk about salaries. No way I'm keeping this beast at my current pay.

COUNTING THE DAYS!

My wife is visiting NYC for three weeks, which means I'm a bachelor for the moment. Having been a bachelor for many years in a previous life, you would think that would be no problem. Not so. I come home from work and find myself bombarded with silence. No wife to talk to , no son asking questions, no baby crying, nothing but silence. So I sit and wonder what to do with myself. Nothing catches my interest. I try to read but can't get into it. I don't play computer games anymore. I turn on the TV, but there is nothing catching.

In this time of loneliness it has become glaringly obvious that my family IS the center of my world. Without them I'm just an astronaut floating in space drifting farther and farther from anything that means anything to him. And the two shall become one. The longer I'm married the more meaning that has for me. The "independent nomad" I once was, is now a dependant, pseudo grounded family man. My family is no longer a futuristic want, but a current need. Life without them is not even fathomable anymore. This temporary separation is a vivid reminder of how much I enjoy my family. How much a part of me they have become.

I don't think Patty is fairing much better. She's already counting the days till she comes home. I think she is going to need a vacation from her vacation.

Back to silence I go.