Writing... writing... it' s been so long.. just writing...

Something there is that doesn’t love a wall

That sends the frozen ground swell under it

And spills the upper boulders in the sun

And I took the one less travelled, and that has made all the difference

And it pleased the Lord to bruise him!

Writing is my long forgotten passion.  I think it was the Navy that gave me the passion.  I guess when you are stuck on a ship for countless days you find ways to engage your mind. 

Recently I’ve touched in conversations Politics, Religion, Finance, Debt, Marriage, Work, Unions;  All great things to converse about.  But I have been noticing that I am waning in my knowledge of much of the things I used to love to be knowledgeable about.  I have all but given up sports.  I barely have time to read about my own faith these days, yet alone the faith of others.  Finance and debt while important, can be dull.  Marriage, hmmm..  that always seems to be the egg shell topic.  I often feel so out of touch with current events.  It becomes hard to hold conversation.  Mentally I’m still in the 90’s or at best the early 2000’s.  Cars, oh cars, but who has the time or the money or the tools to indulge.  My poor baby still sits parked collecting dust and rust.

Why have I abandoned my many passions?  I guess I can sum it up on one word.  Family!  I am often amazed at how much being husband and a father takes out of me.  I love my family.  But I can honestly say I have never been so weary.  I have become a slave to my job which I must do to support the before mentioned family.  I think I enjoy my work, at least some times, but it just seems to never end.  It’s like bailing water out of a holey ship.  No matter how good you think you are doing, you are still sinking. 

Alas I know I will be a slave to work the rest of my days, because my family needs me to be.  And so, while I accept the responsibility I have taken on, I do find myself missing the freedom of being wreck less. 

Wreck less?  You Sean?  Oh yes.  I long for the opportunity to jump out of a perfectly good airplane; to travel down the interstate at 100+mph in a train of like minded drivers passing cars like they are sitting still;  jump in a car and drive with no destination in mind and no care if you get nowhere;  go swimming in the ocean at 2am slightly buzzed but just enjoying the crashing of the waves;  swim out passed the buoy so the lifeguards can swim out after you to tell you how ‘dangerous’ it is to be so ‘far’ from shore; jump of an 80 foot bridge and wonder what you were thinking as you plummet towards the water and it knocks the wind out of you as you slam into it leaving you breathless 30 feet deep;  the challenge of a rip current dragging you to sea as the waves slam you to the sand and relentlessly hold you down on the ocean floor;  staying up all night in an airport talking to a stranger you just met because both of you have an early AM flight and don’t feel like sleeping;  Tearing apart your car for fun not knowing if you can put it back together; Walk through the streets in the pouring rain oblivious to the cold wet cloths on your back cuz your having too much fun just playing in the rain; ooo football in the rain, sliding tackles, muddy cloths, hoping you don’t break any bones;  a mosh pit with thousands of screaming madman pushing and shoving, crowd surfing knowing that the only thing keeping you from crashing into the concrete below are the hands of strangers; 

The point is, for a good portion of my life I did what I wanted, when I wanted.  And while I would not give up my wife and kids for anything, I do miss the adventure of the unknown.  I miss the thrill of life with limited boundaries.  Marriage builds great walls.  Walls of responsibility;  People who depend on you for their life, food, cloths, roof, ect.  People who would suffer should you break a bone, lose a job or die.  People you love and care for. 

I think it’s the inactivity that really does me.  I used to swim hours a day.  Bike at least 10 miles a day.  Walk everywhere.  Play basketball, volley ball, kayaking, football, rollerblading, tennis, weightlifting, sparring, ect.  It’s the wake up before sunrise and get home just before the sun sets, and not have time to enjoy the day that just grates on me. 

Yesterday we spent the day at the park with friends.  Water fights, Frisbee, kites, bikes, good food and watching the kids be kids.  It was a good day. I think that is really what I need.  I still haven’t figured out how to convert my desire to do ‘stuff’ into a family activity.  It’s so easy when you are single.  You just do it.  But for some reason when you have to find something for 5 people to do it suddenly seems like an impossible task. 

I’m slowly but surely getting better at it, but it just isn’t natural for me.  I really have to work at it.  I never came up with activities before.  I just always ended up involved.  But you can’t just show up on your friends’ door with a family of five (a single guy can get away with that).  Getting out the door is a major event, yet alone actually doing something. 

I guess yesterday has revived my restlessness.  I have to figure this out.  The great unknown awaits.  We must find a way to explore it without breaking the bank. 

Music, that my other lost love.  No radio in my jeep, and no radio at work.  Listening to the radio at home is an event, though not a relaxing one.  I need my Metallica, U2, White Zombie, Jim Crow, Doors, Janis Joplin, Pink Floyd, 80’s rock, and all things not post 1995.  Again, I just need to acquire the tools to make music a part of my life again. 

Back to yesterday, it has been so long since I’ve been extremely active that today has been miserable.  It seems yesterday I had a full body work out.  Today I had a one of those coughing fits you get when you forget which tube the food goes down and my sides hurt so bad with ever cough as the muscles screamed at me in agony.  My arms hurt, my legs hurt, my a@# hurts.  It is a good pain, but pain nonetheless.  Makes me want to go out and do it again. 

So now that I’ve rambled on about nothing and wasted a precious ten minutes of your life you will never get back again, I will be off to bed..

College Bound........... Again......... I think.......

I've been thinking about going to college for 23 years now.  At first I was too young and just looking to the future.  Then I couldn't afford it.  Then I just wasn't motivated.  Than I could afford it but was busy doing other things.  Then I was busy doing other things and couldn't afford it.  Now I am busy doing many things and might be able to afford it.

I am also currently motivated.  Why you may ask?

First, I am running out of time to have taxpayers like myself compensate me for volunteering six years of my life to the Department of Offense (I mean defense) by paying my tuition cost.  Also known as the GI Bill.  Yes, I know it's forced relocation of money by the gov't.  But the way I see it, I'm just getting my taxes back.  I think I've given Uncle Sam enough money in taxes, social security benefits, FICA and other taxes.  Not to mention DMV fees, Sales tax, parking tickets, speeding tickets, and countless other ways the gov't has ripped me off over my lifetime.  It's time I get my money back.

Second, I am discovering in my middle age that progression beyond my current level of the corporate ladder is rather difficult without a degree.  Not impossible, but certainly not a walk in the park.  My Father successfully climbed the corporate ladder without a degree.  But he is one of the few if not the only one that I know of who has succeeded on the non-degree route. I have achieved a relatively high level for my education, age and work experience.  But stepping up beyond where I am is proving quite the challenge.  And since I have no intention of being a Maintenance Planner the rest of my life, it's time to move forward.

So, I am looking for the key that opens many doors.  It's amazing that our society puts such value on a piece of paper, but they do, and since I have and continue to gain work experience, I think it about time I get to working on the other side of the coin.

Lastly, I intend to follow the footsteps of an elderly man who works with me.  He has been a floor worker for 30+ years.  He bikes 15 miles to and from work daily.  He manually loads aluminum day in and day out.  He is always enrolled in one class.  He says he doesn't ever intend to not be learning something new.  I think that is a sound policy for anyone.

So wish me luck as I once again, hopefully successfully this time, venture back into the world of collegiate education.  And for anyone else considering college, it would serve you well to read this article by Dr Gary North.
www.LowestCostColleges.com
It could save you a bundle of dough and much time.  Because truth be told, I work in the corporate world, and rarely does anyone research the college you get your degree from.  And if they do, as long as it is ABEC accredited (for you maintenance / engineering folk) or accredited by one of the six Regional accreditation agencies, it doesn't matter what school you get your degree from.

Test Prayer
Now I lay me down to study
I pray the Lord I won't go nutty
If I fail to learn this junk
I pray the Lord I will not flunk
But if I do don't pity me at all
Just lay my bones down in the study hall
Tell my teacher I did my best
Then pile my books upon my chest
Now I lay me down to rest
And pray I'll pass tomorrow's test
If I die before I wake
That's one lest test I'll have to take

Sufferin' Student

A Navy Captain once plagiarized this poem from me for a graduation speech.  

What is your Ultimate Authority?

Today I was visited by two Mormon missionaries.  I rarely turn away a good theological debate.  I debated a Muslim for over a year once (and lost).  It was sad to listen to these two young men spouting the rhetoric that has been spoon fed them by the Mormon church.  They get to present the arguments of other men, to complete strangers.  They pay to spend two years of their life away from home for a faith they don't really know or understand.  They think they are doing "God's will for them".  I don't have have anything against being a missionary, but sending naive young men to spread the propaganda of a doctrine they barely are beginning to grasp is wrong.  

If you see the guys on the bikes wearing dark pants and white dress shirts with ties, wish them well, cuz they are far from home.

I have been asked many times why I left the LDS church.  I've come up with many answers over the years, but none of them quite got it right.  But the answer is really quite simple.

Everyone has an ultimate authority.  It's our starting place.  Our presupposition (yeah, I know, big word).  It is the place you eventually regress to.  So why did I leave Mormonism?  Because I have a presupposition that the Bible is the Holy and infallible Word of God.  The LDS presupposition is that the LDS Prophet is the ultimate authority on earth.  He trumps Scripture.  My Ultimate Authority is the God of the Bible.  And since a man can only have one master (or one truth), I left the church of my youth.

So the question is, what is your starting place?  Your presupposition?  Your ultimate authority?  I don't need an answer.  That question is for anyone who happens upon my banter to ask themselves.    

Nothing in Particular at all

The blogging world evades me.  I've really just been very busy.  What used to be my release (blogging) has become work.  Facebook is so much quicker and easier.  Yet not nearly as satisfying as a good blog.  Unless you want to write a "NOTE" you are limited.  So I have tried to be faithful to blogging at least once a month.  Last month I use the excuse I was in NYC.

What follows are rants of various topics as they come into my head.  Just venting.  Don't mind me.

This year has been long.  I am looking forward to it's end.  The new year will hopefully bring a new job in a new place.  Looking hard in Virginia.  Hoping to get out of the corporate world of manufacturing.  I think I've learned that corporations are all about keeping the board happy, and rarely about taking care of people.  Like all political spectrum's, corporations care about the bottom line first.  I'm tired of seeing hard working folks being treated like worthless pawns.  The tendency to throw those making the right decisions under the bus while those who brown nose while making the wrong decisions continue to thrive and climb the corporate ladder.  Quite frankly it's disheartening.

I'm am currently trying hard to get into one of two careers.  One as a consultant who after some intense training would be instructing people how to better themselves and be more efficient.  The other as a job recruiter helping find work for the unemployed.  Both jobs would give me relative freedom to work at my own pace, my own way, on my own schedule.  I am also passively sending out my resume to various potential opportunities as they arise.

I turned 34 recently.  I was in NYC at the time and took POB (my wife) to see a Broadway play.  It didn't really hit me though until today when I was trying to remember how old I was and had to calculate it.  I never had this problem when I was in my 20's.  But being married with kids, my actual age seems much less relevant than it did when I was young and single.  My perspective has shifted from a self-centered, whimsical, what about today mentality to a guardian and protector.  Someone who is constantly focused on the future, and the potential threats to the well being of his family.  I can say I have become more cynical in the last few years.

I often joke with POB that we have become conspiracy theorist.  I used to make fun of conspiracy theorist.  But the more I learn, the more I become what I held in contempt.  People like Alex Jones don't seem so crazy to me anymore.  It's the Matrix, the Red pill or the Blue pill.  Ignorance is truly Bliss.

However my quest for understanding of our world, of politics, of economics, of history, of freedom, and many other things which currently escape me, has left me spending much less time with God.  Less time praying, reading scripture, leading home studies with my family.  I have taken advantage of the blessing that God has given me by ignoring the one who has given all to me.  I have tried to get back on the wagon many times in the past year, but I keep falling off.

It's as if my life has become confining and all I want to do is escape.  But I don't turn to God, no, I turn to myself and my plans for the future.  Maybe that is why LA feels like a cage and my apartment is no longer a place of rest.  "I will figure it out.  I always do."  I'm so arrogant sometimes.  No comments from the peanut gallery.

Part of the problem is my family has grown but our living quarters haven't.  The little ones are quickly becoming not so little.  They need space.  They need to explore and learn of the outside world.  They are full of of pent up energy and times of peace are few and far between, but quite the treasure.  They are strong willed, stubborn, disobedient little brats.  I used to think my stubbornness was a result of surviving my upbringing.  Lately I have come to believe it is genetic.  My kids have it, especially COB.

So what of the elections?  Americans are in an uproar, the Tea Party came up with a vengeance, Rand Paul actually made it into the Senate.  The net result will be a stalemate.  House and Senate are clearly opposed.  And the Obamanator will use the all mighty power of veto anyway.  Alas we will be left at a stand still till the next election.  Which might not be bad for the economy.  A congress in gridlock can do little harm.

I don't think it matters.  Our country is already destroyed.  It cannot recover from the economic hole which it is still digging deeper.  I used to think, what if the whole thing just fell apart like Rome.  I figured it wouldn't happen in my lifetime.  Yet today, I don't see how it can not happen in my lifetime.  We are a sinking ship.  I just hope I end up on a good life raft.

The lack of skill in America astounds me.  I'm reading the biography of Buffalo Bill written by his sister.  At age 8 he was hunting, and scouting and leading his family.  By age 12 he was moving cattle.  His father, a great orator, was also a skilled farmer, hunter, and builder.  His father built for his family by hand the largest home at the time in that part of Kansas.  As I continue to read I think of my own grandfather who also was a man of many talents.  Or my grandmother who was a talented seamstress (good with anything that involved cloth, or yarn or string), a gardenerPuerto Rico.

So much knowledge is lost to my generation.  So much more will be lost to this generation.  It's ironic that in a world where the Internet can provide you with info on just about anything almost instantly, that we are all so ignorant.  I long to learn the skills of old.  Woodworking, metalworking, farming, hunting, foraging, camping, gun smithing, ect.  I long to have the skill to uproot my family with the knowledge that wherever we go, we will thrive.

But my public education has left me with a narrow skill set.  I'm highly intelligent, yet trapped.  Trapped by ignorance born of a mind-numbing lack of real education.  And the worst part is I know it, but don't know what to do about it.

Fatherhood and responsibility keep my grounded when I want to return to my Nomadic ways and see what new adventure and knowledge life can afford me.  Sacrifice the wants of the hear and now in hopes that my children will be the better for it.

My children.  If you know me, you know I homeschool.  I am often challenged by stranger and love ones about my choice.  Yet as I learn more and more about gov't schooling and see how year after year it changes for the worse, I can't but feel blessed that I can spare them from that unGodly institution called Public School.  This year we started Latin and Logic.  Of course there is much grumbling, but it is wonderful to see understanding come to a young man.

While we were in New York I was looking through the selection of Public High Schools that NYC has to offer.  There were only two categories.  Schools with a graduation rate greater than 85% and schools with a graduation rate of less than 50%.  No middle ground.  What I found most interesting is that almost every one of the upper level schools required Latin.

Well, I've babbled enough about who knows what.  Maybe I should re-read this before I post it so I at least know what I'm putting out to my ever shrinking audience.

Time ~ you ain't no friend of mine

Lately it seems that I have no time. For instance when I started this Blog I could spend hours writing and bantering. But now it seems it is a struggle to even post something once a month. When I was a teenager I rode a bike 10 miles a day, swam 2 to 6 hours a day, and went to school. Still had time to hang out with friends, play board games (Axis and Allies anyone), and countless other very time consuming things.

In the Navy it was a chore to find ways to pass the time. Long drives in the countryside, nights at Cozzy's comedy club, drinking with the boys and girls, movies, mountain biking, computer games, Bible studies, more driving, visiting everyone and anyone I could think, reading books for hours of and so on and so forth. Yet I still managed not to fill all the time available to me.

Then I got married and had children. Now it seems time is a priceless commodity I can't get enough of. I no longer have countless hours to spare, but every moment of the day seems taken up by jobs and tasks. It's seems you don't know what you have till it's gone. Not that I would give up the blessings God has given me. I would just like time to sit and read a book, go for a drive, enjoy and quiet day of mindless TV watching or get engrossed in a pointless video game.

Or spend a few days tearing apart my car just to put it back together. Maybe a nice spontaneous road trip to anywhere.

Alas, I haven't the time.  When my kids grow up I'm sure I'll be begging for the days when I had no time.  But for no, I'm looking forward to a brief weekend in Vegas, just me and my wife and a vacation to NYC.  It's all I have time for.

Life is Short!

My oldest sister died August 8th at the age of 42. She left behind a husband and four children. Death came to her via he Cancer.

I’m told she gave a profession of faith in Christ before she died. Lord, I hope that is true. Her Memorial was Friday. I took the task of planning and organizing the event. Her husband just wasn’t up to the task. All through the planning I was a task driven man. I’m a Maintenance Planner. Planning comes natural. So I kept myself engrossed in the task at hand. Everyone kept asking me how I was. And the truth of the matter I was fine. A little sad, but I was ok.

I had the dubious honor of picking up my sisters ashes. It marks the second time in recent years the ashes of a relative ended up under my roof. I bought a nice wooden box because those white boxes they give you are just tacky.

Friday was frantic. The slideshow and program didn’t get finished until minutes before the ceremony.

Sitting at the memorial service listening to the Pastor talk about the role of death in life, looking at the slideshow that I had put together (with some help), and just having the time to reflect on why I was sitting there, on why I had dedicated myself to planning this event, it all finally hit me. My palms starting sweating, my face grew heavy. For two weeks I had been doing all I could to be supportive to my family and suddenly here I was just lost in emotion.

I could hear her daughter and son mourning.

The end of the ceremony was for family. I took the lead. I hadn’t had time to prepare anything so I just started talking. 30 seconds in I was barely able to stand. Grief for the first time seized hold of me and all I could do was cry.

That evening most of the family and a long time family friend ended up at my place. The friend was a bartender and the drinks were flowing. It really was a good time. But I had to ask the question, “ Why does it take the death of a loved one for us to get together?”

We live life oblivious to how fragile it is. We thrive on living on the edge of death. High risk sports are the rave. Living on the Edge. We assume our relatives will be there forever. We assume our siblings will grow old with us. We don’t think we’ll get to watch our Daughters or Sons die. We put off God till tomorrow. We put off our loved ones because we are busy living our lives. We hold our tongues because we don’t want to offend. We ignore all the uncomfortable moments because it’s so much easier not to step outside of our comfort zone. Why rock the boat? There will always be tomorrow. Right?

But the truth is any moment could be our last moment. God could choose to take any one of us at any time. We don’t know God’s plan for us. As the saying goes “the only certainties in life are Death and Taxes”. And Death is usually looked upon as the end. But it’s not the end. Death is the beginning. It is the beginning of our eternal life. And that life will take one of two forms; Glory and praise with God in Heaven; facing the wrath of God for all eternity.

As I watched cancer eat my sister alive, as I could smell the dead cancer and see the pain from which there was no escape, I couldn’t help but think of my own mortality. And it occurred to me, as horrible as it is to watch someone you love die of cancer, this moment of suffering is nothing compared to the eternal wrath of God. And I heard “Nobody deserves to die like that”. Really? How do we ‘deserve’ to die?

We ‘deserve’ the eternal wrath of God. However we die, it is far from what we deserve for rebelling against God. What we deserve is far worse than anything man can imagine.

Lord willing my sisters profession of faith was genuine and even though she lived a sin filled life (if you knew her you knew she had her fair share of evil deeds), she is now at peace. She is enjoying the eternal rest that only God can provide. By Grace we are Saved, through Faith, Faith which is also a gift from God, lest we boast, in Jesus Christ who was given by the Father as a perfect and Holy Sacrifice, the perfect becoming Sin for us, all to the Glory of God Alone.

If we chose to love God it is because he first chose us and loved us while we were still slaves to sin and haters of God. Everything I’ve learned in my short life about God has new meaning. I know I have much to learn, but I am much more aware of how Great God’s gift of Grace is. And even in this I know my understanding is far removed from the reality of the Greatness of God which is far beyond anyone’s understanding.

Yesterday was a hard day, but it is a day the Lord has made.

“Before I was born, you planned each day for me” ~ King David.

I am grateful that God has blessed me with Grace through Faith in Christ. I am grateful that with that Grace he has blessed me with Wisdom and Knowledge. I know as painful as this has been, that it is part of God’s good and Holy plan. There is peace in knowing that God is in control and that my sisters death wasn’t just an accident, but that she died because God decided it was her time to come home.

“O death, where is your sting” ~ Psalmist… Though it certainly has stung me, I know it is only because I am still among the living and I know it’s because as I continue in my short time here on earth it will be without the presence of my sister.

To everyone who volunteered and helped me in this time of grief, I thank you and hopefully will get to thank you in person. To my family, I pray that God will bless you all with his Grace and Love.

It Seems God wants me to stay here a while

I’ve been working really hard this year on getting out of California. But all my efforts have produced zero fruit. This week I think I resigned myself to the fact that God isn’t ready for me to leave LA just yet. Patty and I are making plans to better use the space we have in the mean time. It just doesn’t seem financially sound to move somewhere else in LA.

So how much longer will I be a Californian? Only God knows.

A lot has happened this year. This seems to be the year of illness and injury for my family. A whole winter with a sinus infection, Dental problems for both me and my wife, Darrien breaks his arm, Caleb ~ well Caleb is just a walking bruise. And of course the most imminent, my eldest sister is dying of Cancer. I think this is part of the reason God is keeping me here. I’m the only sibling close enough to help.

Most of the time we don’t think about our mortality. But watching my sister slowly and painfully die of cancer has certainly revived my sense of how fragile we are. I would not have believed the carnage cancer can produce had I not seen it first hand. At a recent gathering my Father said “No one deserves to die like that!” I’ve since thought about that statement. How do we ‘deserve’ to die?

This is quite the theological question. The answer is quite simple. We ‘deserve’ eternal death and hell. We deserve a torment far worse than cancer. We deserve the full wrath of God himself for eternity. Fire and brimstone, gnashing of teeth, everlasting torment and misery. We are all “Prone to Wander from God”. We have all sinned and rejected God. We all stand with the Apostle Paul in saying “O Wretched man that I am, who will save me from this body of death”.

By the grace of God we don’t have to suffer that fate. My sister is not Christian. I pray that God sustains her in this world long enough to save her soul. Because if he doesn’t this little bout with cancer will be a walk in the park compared to the wrath of God.

I have shared the gospel with her. I have tried to be a good Christian example (and I did a damned poor job of it). I have prayed. I know now that she is in God’s hands. His will be done. I just pray His will is to bestow His saving grace on a sinner (my sister).

As for me, I know God can take me any time. This could be my last hour on earth. I thank God for the knowledge of the gospel and for blessing me with the gracious gift of Faith In his only begotten Son. I pray that when God decides it is my time to face death, he does so quickly. I don’t have the pretense that I don’t ‘deserve’ a disease like cancer. I just hope God is merciful and takes me quickly.

“May the Grace of our Lord be with you, now and always may you stay blameless till He comes”

For it is by Grace we are saved through Faith in Jesus Christ our Lord, not of our own doing. We contribute nothing to our salvation, lest we boast, but all Glory to God who shows Mercy to his chosen.

May God's Grace be with you!

Death is something we will all face someday. Most of us don’t think about it often. Three years ago my step-mother died. In less than three months my eldest sister will also have died. She has cancer.

Today we met at her house to watch her and her husband renew their wedding vows. It was both incredibly joyous and extremely sad. To see the love they have for each other and the pain of the knowledge of how little time they have left together, it was hard to see.

3 of her children were there. One chose to stay away. It was sad and disappointing. We gathered as a family, some of us having not seen each other for many many moons. There was laughing and dancing and kids playing and drinking.

Most of it was light hearted and joyous. But the white elephant of death was always there. Tears were shed.

I chose to broach the forbidden subject of God. I’m always nervous when trying to talk about God with members of my family. They don’t receive him well. I put together a collection of sermons by a good pastor. Something she could listen to in her condition without having to read or search. Something that just spells out the Gospel accurately and engagingly.

I took her husband aside, for I wanted his blessing. I didn’t know how to begin. But I started talking and soon we were engaged in Godly conversation. It was more then well received but welcomed. I was amazed at seeing God working before my eyes. I expected to offend and ended up leaving both of us speechless.

We both presented the gift to my sister and she received it well. Cracking jokes and laying insults as only she can.

And now I pray that she will come to understand what I know. That Death is just the doorway to God, and that by his grace, if you have been given faith in the Sacrifice of His Son, Jesus, then that is a glorious union.

“May the grace of our Lord be with you, now and always may you stay blameless till he comes.” I used to think being blameless before God meant living the perfect “good” life. Now I know that being blameless before God is simply being clothed in the righteousness of Christ who died for us. I know there is nothing I can bring to God that I have done that attributes to my Salvation.

It is that knowledge that allows me to say “Oh death, where is thy sting”. May God bless my sister with his grace to have faith in our Lord.

I met a man from Uruguay

Yesterday I had the privilege of enjoying a lunch with a stranger from Uruguay. He was a self taught PLC technician. He came to American in 2002 when his country was in turmoil. He barely spoke English.

He enrolled in an English as a second language class. Apparently Elderly Americans often volunteer to help at these classes. He met an old white couple who taught him finance and credit. They taught him to never buy anything on credit you can't pay for in cash, and then pay your credit down immediately. This includes a home.

With home prices in LA $400,000+ he thought this impossible. He has been in America for 7 years. He speaks perfect English. He is self employed. He has watched his Uruguayan friends buy homes, cars, stuff on credit. He said they made fun of him for not buying new stuff (his car is 8 years old and running strong). Then he told me he watched all of them lose their 'stuff' as their own personal credit bubbles burst. He still hasn't bought a home, but he is saving. He intends to do what most of us would think impossible. To buy a home in cash.

He has stuck to the advice of the wise old couple. He works hard and proves his worth to his customers. His customers are loyal because of it. He lives within his means, only buying what he can afford. He has built great credit, yet has zero debt. What he has he owns.

This is the 'American Dream'. This man is succeeding where so many of us born in America have failed.

Hard work, thrifty living and perseverance brings true wealth. This is the lessen we should be teaching our children. I'm glad the wise old couple volunteered their time and set this man on the right path. He came with nothing, he overcame the barrier of language, and he is thriving because he put forth the hard work and sacrifice to succeed.

One last note. He warned me "Don't ever mistake Wassabi for Guacamole" Apparently he had never seen either before he came here. He is truly wise.

Love and Marriage... Love and Marriage... Go together like a horse and carriage..

As I approach my five year wedding anniversary, I'm thinking about what it means. I've decided to do a review of what God says about marriage and love.

When speaking of marriage, Jesus said,"What God has joined together, let not man separate" He goes on to say divorce was allowed because of the hardness of man's heart. So even thought Moses allowed divorce for Adultery or Abandonment, Jesus seems to be saying it is God who joins two people as husband and wife and we shouldn't break apart what God has joined for any reason. When you marry you make a vow before God. You promise God you will be with this person till you die.

That's a hard pill to swallow. So even those whose spouse has cheated on them should acknowledge that it is God who gave them their husband or wife. God chose that person for them. And God knew that person would cheat on you. But if our faith is in God, then we trust that God works all things out for good. How can the pain of a cheating spouse and the damage it does to a relationship be good? Well, if the lesson God wants you to learn is forgiveness, there is no greater challenge than forgiving and adulterous spouse. But it can be done.

Hopefully God never puts me or my wife in that position. But it helps to know whatever trials come into my marriage, it is God who chose this woman to be my wife and these trials to be my trials. And if I am to forgive even adultery, than certainly I am to forgive any lesser offense.

Just remember, there is a reason you vow to God. Because there comes a time in every marriage when the last person you want to be around is your spouse. Your vow is what keeps you together. Your vow is what carries you through.

"Love God, Love your neighbor" Your spouse IS your neighbor. Your closest neighbor. God says, if you love me, keep My commandments. Love is an action.
Paul lists the attribute of love

PATIENT: till death do us part. The whole of your human existence. Till you die. Patience is definitely needed. When you fight with a friend or someone you are dating you can always just go your own way. When you fight with your spouse, there is no where to go. Patience is a virtue much needed in marriage

KIND: If you love your spouse you shower them with kindness. When you are tired, when you are grumpy, when your patience is waning, when you you want to be angry.... you are to be Kind to your spouse

UNSELFISH: Marriage should be a give-give relationship. You give 100% and your spouse gives 100%. Not possible you say. I would agree, but that should be the goal. Give without the expectation of receiving. Be gracious in all you receive. When you let selfish expectations creep into marriage, your spouse is doomed to fail at meeting your selfish desires.

TRUTHFUL: many think it OK to lie as not to hurt your spouse. But if you love someone you are truthful. In marriage you learn the worst things about your spouse. You get to know the depths of their wretched ways. You learn things which others may never know about your spouse. That requires honesty. It requires vulnerability. It requires openness. There is no such thing as a small lie. And any lie has the potential to cause far greater damage than good.

HOPEFUL: Love is hopeful? I think this means that with Love comes blessings. It's not a wish (I hope I.... ), but it's assurance. Love gives you an assurance. It gives your spouse assurance.

ENDURES ALL THING: I'll refer back to the case of adultery. If you truly love your spouse you will endure their sin against God and forgive them. You will endure whatever it takes to move forward and heal. This is a daunting aspect of love. It helps to remember as King David declared," it is against you alone, Lord, that I have sinned." Whatever we do to our spouse, what we don't do is "sin against them". We may hurt them. We may make them feel rejected, unloved, ect. But when we sin it is against God alone that we sin. God chooses to forgive us our sin, our rejection of his law, his word, his command. If God whose ways are far above our ways can forgive his creation, we as his creation should be able to forgive each other, especially the person we have vow before God to Love.

NOT ENVIOUS: The grass is always greener on the other side. How easy is it to want what someone else has. To covet. It easy to look at your spouse and see something in them you want for your self. "Why do you get this, and I get that". "We need to be FAIR". To truly love your spouse, you are happy for the gifts God has given them. You share in their joy. "Misery loves company" is not a motto for marriage

NOT PROUD: The common phrase is "holier than thou". There is nothing wrong with acknowledging and appreciating the gifts God gives you. But you are not loving your spouse if you lord it over them or make them feel inferior.

NOT RUDE: this one is tricky. Rude can be subjective. "That's just the way I am" doesn't cut it. We already know what we consider rude, but what does your spouse consider rude. It most likely is not the same thing. I am learning this lesson the hard way.

NOT PROVOKED TO ANGER: Now there is such a thing as a righteous anger. Jesus overturned the tables in the temple in anger. But rarely do you find righteous anger in marriage. Usually anger in marriage is because we lack patience, we are rude, proud, envious, unkind, selfish, etc. I am know for pushing peoples buttons. I am often amazed at my wife's ability not to be provoked by me. Don't be easily provoked, but more importantly, don't provoke.

So, do you feel like you love your spouse OR are you loving your spouse with your actions. LOVE is an action. You may not FEEL love or in love, but you are commanded to Love. We are to Love our enemies. Sometimes your spouse feels like your enemy. LOVE THEM. Don't let your feelings get in the way of your LOVE. Love requires you to give UNCONDITIONALLY. It asks you give and expect nothing in return. It asks you to endure even when there is no hope of reprieve.

This is what you commit to when you marry. God has chosen for me a beautiful woman. She is not without flaws. Our differences certainly put me through the refining fire. I'm sure this stubborn Irishman has tested her as well. May God continue to bless us and mold us and help make us ONE.