The 30 Day Challenge!

I just read an article about a man who, as an experiment, completed a challenge I'm not sure I'm up for. He voluntarily agreed to do whatever his wife asked for 30 days.

He discovered some interesting facts in the month. A lesson we all should learn, is that it's not the big gestures that matter, but the accumulation of small gestures. He learned the "river of minor grievances" his wife has against him. He learned that both he and his wife were full of "sass" at that it was much better to fill their banter with niceness.

I don't think I'm ready for this challenge. But it did get me thinking. We are called to love our brides as Christ loved the church. It's a hard calling. Christ sacrificed much for his church. He was always giving. Never taking. He was a servant and he called us to be servants. How many of us husbands serve our wives? I'm not saying be submissive robots, like this challenge, but servants. Do we even know what that means? Do we know our wives needs? Do we know her "minor grievances"? Do we treat her with "sass" like she's a drinking buddy?

Next week my Pastor begins a 4 week class on marriage. I've been listening to his advice on Marriage longer than I've been married. I keep coming back because I always learn more. And I'll most assuredly go away with a fresh reminder of the challenge before me and my failings as a husband. My wife will assuredly walk away with the same. It's good to be reminded that we're not perfect. It's good to be reminded that our spouse is not perfect. It is an unreasonable expectation that your spouse be perfect.

As a wise man (my pastor) once told me, "Marriage isn't a 50-50 proposition, it's a 100-100 proposition". You have to give your 100% and you have to do so even when your spouse is giving 10%. Too often we think "I'll start giving, when he/she starts giving". Marriage isn't a give-take agreement. If you don't give unconditionally, you will fail. If you wait until your spouse starts "giving" you will never start.

Choose to full fill your wedding vows regardless of your spouse. The second you make your fulfillment of your vow conditional on your spouses fulfilment of their vow, you begin the road to failure.